I still wasn't looking at him, but I could feel his eyes burrowing away at me. He was trying to read me. "You all right?" he asked. "You're not usually this quiet."
I scoffed. "Am I really that much of a motormouth?"
"It's the holidays and you have a lot of energy, of course I'm gonna notice when you're hiding. Tell me what's wrong."
I exhaled long and deeply. "It's Thanksgiving, and Melanie isn't here." I turned and looked at him, and watched as his curious, concerned expression faded to realization and empathy. "Her parents most likely made a turkey tonight, a turkey that she'll never taste. She doesn't get to spend the night shoveling snow out of the driveway so she can get up early and go Christmas shopping for her family, she doesn't get to make a Christmas list, her parents won't get to see her open a gift they picked out for her. She's just gone, and my aunt and uncle have no answers. Every time I see them, I feel like I'm lying to them."
"Hey," he breathed, putting his hands on both my shoulders. I was freezing, and he felt so warm. "The holidays always suck, but they're never worse than the first one after something like this. As much as it sounds like bullshit, it is going to get better."
What he was saying was sweet and from the heart, but it wasn't making me feel better. "She'll always be dead, though," I told him. "That's something I have to live with every day."
His brow furrowed. "You say that like it's your fault."
"Isn't it?"
"She was a big girl, Cora. She didn't have to come to Lunar City, but she made that choice."
"But would she have if she knew the truth? I knew the kind of people that were in that city and everything they were capable of, but I let her tag along. I let it happen."
"You're not a psychic, Cora. Not even I could have predicted what happened. You can't sit here and beat yourself up over something you had nothing to do with."
"It's been working pretty well so far," I said bitterly, and turned away from him, folding my arms and tucking my hands into the sleeves of my shirt that was one size too big. "Telling me it's not my fault undoes nothing. I can rationalize it and my brain might even get it, but my heart just isn't there. If I don't vent and cry, I'll explode."
"I get that."
"We're not all experts at bottling up our emotions."
Max threw his head back. "You know, considering the mood of the night, I'm just gonna ignore that little dig."
I felt terrible. "I'm sorry," I said, putting my hands to my face. I wasn't thinking at all. "You didn't deserve that. My head is just in a really weird place right now. The holidays, am I right?" I tried to joke. I tried to act like myself to not worry him. I don't think he bought it, because his expression remained troubled. My face fell, and I pressed it against his chest, taking in the aroma of clean clothes, cologne, and that distinct cozy Max smell. "I'm not trying to irritate you. You're pretty much all I have these days, and I don't want to lose you."
His hand touched my chin and pulled it up so our eyes met. "You are quite literally everything to me. It's gonna take decades of you irritating me before I even entertain the idea of walking out. If that."
I faintly smiled. That was about as romantic as Max got, but I knew he meant every word.
"I'm sorry I ruined the night," I said. "I know how much you hate holiday gatherings. You came all the way out here just for me, and I'm being a total butt."
"It's not the gatherings I hate, it's usually the people in them. You, I can eat dinner with for hours. Priscilla, on the other hand—"
"You just dislike her because you two are similar."
He squished his face tight, clearly insulted. "We are not."
"Yes, you are." I stopped myself and then laughed. "You know she used to have a thing for you, right?"
"Oh, really?"
"Back when we first met. Just think, if I hadn't come into town, you two could be a couple right now."
"That's a horrifying thought."
I laughed pretty hard. It was relieving to know I still could.
"While the mood is still light, I wanted to give you something," Max said and then reached into his pocket.
"Wait, you got me something?" There was a long, gray rectangular box in his hand, and I knew it was jewelry. "Wait, no, Max. We're not supposed to exchange gifts before Christmas."
"I felt like getting you one now. You got a problem with that?"
I scoffed. "Like I'd ever have a problem with presents."
He slyly grinned and watched me anxiously pop open the container. I didn't know what I was expecting, and I had to stop myself from excitedly clapping like a kid in front of a birthday cake. Once I saw what was inside, I gasped at the beauty. It was a gorgeous, silver crescent moon necklace, with a little heart hanging from the edge. The words "I love you" were inscribed on the heart, and the words "To the moon and back" on the actual moon. It was so sweet I thought I was gonna cry.
"It's even silver," he commented. "That way if I ever get out of hand, you can melt it down into a bullet and end me."
"You're so sentimental," I joked, and Max laughed. I clutched the necklace close to my chest and said, "This is everything."
"You're everything."
I smiled, and suddenly putting the necklace on was the last thing on my mind. I wrapped my arms
