Why why why? she wants to scream now, as he pulls her into an awkward embrace. She closes her eyes as her chin rests on his shoulder, his familiar smell transporting her back to those painful teenage years. Despite the harrowing memories, she wishes she could stay here, because no matter what, Justin had always made her feel safe. He’d never treat her like Simon does.
‘Good to see you too,’ she says, removing herself from his arms.
She’s already working out whether she’s got enough time to get to her car and drive off before he pays for his fuel. She doesn’t know why she lied to him, but now that she has, she can’t run the risk of him seeing two red-faced babies screaming in the back seat.
‘Take care,’ she says, backing out the shop door.
He offers a sad smile and raises his hand.
She turns and hurriedly makes her way to her car, just managing to get a grip on the handle when she hears her name being called.
‘Lauren, wait up.’
‘Shit, shit, shit,’ she says under her breath before turning and almost running back to him.
Justin laughs nervously. ‘Listen, I know this may sound completely crazy, but do you want to get together?’ He looks everywhere but at her. ‘For a catch-up.’
Lauren’s mouth dries up and she feels as if she has a tennis ball lodged in her throat.
‘No, you’re right,’ he says, without her saying a word. ‘It’s probably not a good—’
‘I’d love to,’ she says, without even realizing it. What the hell was she thinking?
Justin grins. ‘Really? Wow, great, can I give you my number?’
Her head’s racing at a million miles an hour, wondering how she’s got herself into this situation and how to get herself out of it. All the time, knowing that she doesn’t want to.
‘Or perhaps I can take yours?’
She shakes her head, thinking of Simon and what he would do if he found out that she’d given her number to another man. It’d be bad enough if he thought it was a stranger. She can’t bear to think what he’d do if he knew it was the boy she once loved more than anything.
‘No, I’ll call you,’ says Lauren quickly, before realizing in a hot-headed panic that her phone is in the car. She hops from one foot to another as she contemplates what to do. If she goes to get it, he’s likely to follow, and then what will he think? She hedges her bets, hoping that the one she puts money on won’t let her down.
‘Listen,’ she says. ‘I really need to be somewhere, but if you call my number now, I’ll have your details, and I’ll give you a call in the next couple of days.’
Justin punches the digits into his phone with a quiet determination as she recites them. ‘If I don’t hear from you, I’ll ring you.’
‘No!’ says Lauren, far too abruptly. ‘I’ll call you.’
‘You promise?’
She can’t help but go back to him and reach up to give him a kiss on the cheek. ‘I promise,’ she says, walking away, wondering how she’s leaving the petrol station with even more problems than she came in with.
12
Kate
‘Hey,’ says Matt, smiling as he emerges from the revolving door of his office building. He slips an arm around Kate’s waist and kisses her cheek. ‘You okay?’
She could be honest and say, No, my mother and sister are being the worst versions of themselves, and Jess might well be my sister, but she smiles and says, ‘yes’, instead.
‘To what do I owe this pleasure?’ he asks, as they hold hands and fall in step with each other. ‘You don’t normally come up to meet me.’ His offices are only four blocks away from Kate’s, but they’re further from the station, so on the rare occasions they leave work at the same time, Matt would always walk down to Kate.
‘I just needed to get out,’ she says. It’s not a lie. Since her suspicions had been confirmed, she’d found it difficult to concentrate, but she wasn’t sure she wanted to share her muddled thoughts just yet. At least not until she’d managed to unravel them in her own head.
‘It was pretty quiet this afternoon,’ she goes on. ‘So once I’d put tomorrow’s stories to bed, I wanted some fresh air.’
‘You’re okay though, right?’ he asks, stopping and turning to look at her.
Commuters tut as they’re forced to sidestep around them on the pavement.
Kate instinctively touches her stomach and nods.
‘Nothing’s happened?’ Matt presses.
She shakes her head. ‘I’m just tired.’
‘That’s all it is?’ asks Matt, in a way that suggests he thinks she might be hiding something.
‘Yes,’ she says, smiling at his concern. ‘That’s all.’ She links her arm through his, encouraging him to start walking again.
‘Mmm,’ he mutters, looking at her through narrowed eyes, as if he’s still not quite convinced.
‘Anyway, how’s your day been?’ she asks, eager to change the subject. ‘How did the interviews go? Find anyone suitable?’
Matt groans. ‘Everyone pre-lunch was a write-off, but there were one or two candidates this afternoon that are promising.’
‘Is that because you had a couple of drinks in you by then?’ she asks, laughing. ‘Did your beer goggles make them a more attractive proposition?’
Matt nudges her playfully with an elbow. ‘I’ll have you know I’ve remained sober all day, thank you very much.’
‘That’s unusual for you,’ Kate teases. ‘For a Monday.’
He smiles as he swings open the door into the station, holding it for an attractive woman and her canine companion. ‘Ah cute,’ he comments after her.
Kate raises her eyebrows. ‘Is that the dog or the human?’
Matt rolls his eyes. ‘So, there were two stand-out applicants this afternoon, but with very different backgrounds. One’s straight out of university, having graduated in journalism. The
