She might take drugs. She might have been in trouble with the police. What if this guy she’s seeing at work is a thief or a con artist on the side? Jess had mentioned he might pop in later – she’d sounded so excited that Lauren hadn’t wanted to burst her bubble and say no, despite how uncomfortable she felt. But what if he was a criminal who just happened to hold down a day job as well? What if he and Jess were both professional scammers who attach themselves to a mark by pretending to be related to them? Suppose they wheedle their way into people’s lives by preying on their vulnerability and strip them of everything they’ve got. The admission that she’s questioning Jess’s motives for the first time shames her. How can she leave her children with her now?
Going back into her bedroom, she calls Jess as she ruefully picks up the black jumpsuit that she’d laid on the bed. She’s just about to put it back in the wardrobe when the doorbell rings. Jess’s phone goes to voicemail and being the nearest thing to hand, Lauren hastily pulls the outfit from the hanger and steps into it. She’s still doing up the buttons as she opens the door.
‘Jess!’
‘Sorry I’m a bit early – the trains were running on time for once.’
‘Oh, I was just about to . . .’ says Lauren, staring at the phone in her hand, knowing that it’s too late to call her off now.
‘You look gorgeous,’ says Jess, looking Lauren up and down.
I look awful, Lauren says to herself, before remembering what Kate told her. ‘Thank you,’ she says out loud.
‘So, what do I need to know?’ asks Jess, as she steps into the hall.
‘Mmm, do you know what?’ says Lauren. ‘I’m not in the mood to go out so I think I’m just going to cancel. You should stay though – we can open a bottle of wine.’
‘You can’t stay in when you look like that!’ exclaims Jess with a smile. ‘People need to see you.’
Lauren laughs awkwardly.
‘I hope Simon knows how lucky he is,’ says Jess. ‘He should be very proud to have you on his arm tonight. Now go and get your shoes!’
Guilt engulfs Lauren as she goes back up the stairs, her fingers trailing the chipped paint as she goes. Whilst Simon’s out there, working through the night, she’s getting ready to go and meet another man. Yes, he’s chauvinistic, moody and sometimes loses his temper, but is it any surprise? She’s on his case 24/7; asking him to fix the shower, put the kitchen door on, paint the staircase. Why isn’t she painting the staircase instead of nagging her husband, who’s busy trying to earn enough money to look after his family?
She’s doing her utmost to convince herself that Simon deserves better, but for every reason that goes in his favour, she can think of two that don’t. Whilst they struggle to pay the bills, he could make it a lot easier if he didn’t go down the pub most nights and visit the bookies every Saturday. And on the rare occasion he takes her out, it would be nice if he talked to her, instead of looking at his phone or accusing her of flirting with the waiter.
Her only heeled shoes sit next to her slippers at the bottom of her wardrobe, seemingly offering Lauren a symbolic choice between doing what’s right or what’s wrong. It doesn’t take her long to pick the pair she wants to wear.
‘Okay, so Noah and Emmy are in bed and should be asleep,’ she says, as she carefully makes her way back down the narrow stairs in feet adorned with black patent. ‘It’s unlikely they’ll wake up, but if they do it will only be for the toilet or a drink.’
Jess nods confidently. ‘And Jude?’
Lauren looks at him, gurgling away contentedly in front of a colourful mobile on the living room floor. ‘There’s a bottle in the fridge, which he’s due to have at ten, but I’m sure I’ll be home by then.’
Jess looks at her watch. ‘It’s almost eight now,’ she says. ‘At this rate you’ll be coming home before you’ve even gone out.’
Lauren smiles as she walks away from Jess and into the kitchen, surreptitiously sweeping up the mug that holds the paltry housekeeping money that Simon deems to give her every week. She puts the forty pounds into her pocket and tucks the laptop she shares with Simon under her arm. She’d rather take it with her than run the risk of Jess and her boyfriend using it to their advantage.
‘Are you sure you’re okay to do this?’ asks Lauren as she walks back into the living room.
‘I’m actually incredibly flattered that you’ve asked,’ says Jess. ‘And anyways –’ she scuffs the floor with her feet whilst Lauren looks at her expectantly – ‘This is what sisters are for.’
The words slice through Lauren’s psyche, an image of Kate infiltrating her brain. Jess is right, this is what sisters are for, so why isn’t hers here for her now? Lauren should be able to call on Kate to help with the children, but ever since little Noah came along, she feels that her relationship with Kate has paid the price. With every child that Lauren has been blessed with, she’s felt that Kate has removed herself step by step, and now with
