A single, solitary tear fell down her cheek.
“I know I want all of you for life… It hurts my heart to even think about this ending. Everything is so up in the air, but I need to know if we have a future together. I need to know what you want from me. Because if I can’t give you those things… then what are we even doing here?”
Chapter 38
My heart hurt like hell. I had to ask those questions. Ever since Xav had joked about me being their wifey, it’d played on my mind. I couldn’t give any of them a normal life like that. When we’d started this, none of us had fully considered the impact it might have on the future. None of us had remotely even thought for a second we’d all become so serious about each other. And now it was clear the love we shared was mutual, I had to know if this is something they wanted to commit to permanently. I had to know it’s what they wanted just as I did. Especially when we were so close to ending this shit with Frank.
Quinn hadn’t let go of my hand. He held it tightly in his. His thumb still stroked my skin. His eyes had darted to Rory’s then his head turned and he looked at Xav and Eric in the front.
My chest hurt like hell, mostly because of the fucking car crash, but some of it was the thought of not having them with me. Of this disappearing and leaving me with a destroyed heart. It wouldn’t just break. It would rip apart and the pieces would never fit back together properly.
“I can’t answer for everyone else,” Quinn said quietly. “But I know all I want is you, little girl. I love you and you’ll always be enough for me. Just you. The rest doesn’t mean a fucking thing, okay? Don’t need a legal document to know I’m yours and you’re mine.” His dark eyes bored into me. “I don’t have a future if you’re not in it, do you understand? You are my future.”
My words got stuck in my throat. The depth of feeling in his words and the way his voice shook with emotion gave me all the answer I needed from him.
He leant closer and pressed a kiss to my temple.
“I’m not leaving you, Ash. I promise. You, me and the boys are all I need in this life, okay?”
I nodded as I was currently unable to talk. All my emotions swirled around inside me and I was worried I’d burst into tears and break down completely.
Quinn pulled back and looked at the others expectantly.
“Angel, is this because of my stupid joke when Isabella and Viktor were over?” Xav asked.
“What the fuck did you joke about?” Quinn asked, his expression clouding over.
“I just said you thought she wouldn’t want to be our wifey.”
“For fuck’s sake, Xav, what is wrong with you? That isn’t something you should joke about. Putting fucking doubts about our feelings in her head.”
He put his hands up.
“Hey, I didn’t know it would do this… Fuck, I’m so sorry, angel.”
Quinn shook his head, his hand tightening in mine. Eric gave Xav a dark look.
“I’m in this for the long haul, hellcat, even if this idiot here is putting stupid ideas in your head. I don’t think any of us thought we’d survive long enough to settle down and do things like get married, so to be honest, it doesn’t matter to me. You matter. I love you. And on occasion, this guy, when he isn’t being a dick, but my point is we’re in this together. You and these three are my future.”
My heart clenched hard in my chest hearing Eric’s words. My bottom lip trembled and I still couldn’t form a response. That’s when I felt a little nudge of my arm. I turned to Rory. His hazel eyes were a little glazed over. He was in pain so I felt shit for even asking this question right now. But it had to be done. I had to know.
“I meant what I said last night… I love you, little star. You’re my home and I won’t give you up for the fucking world, okay? Never. I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth.”
Rory had said that last night. He’d made his declaration then. And now he’d openly admitted he loved me in front of the others. I didn’t need any more reassurances from him. So I gave him a nod.
“Is this what we’re doing? All declaring our feelings?” Xav asked.
“Yes, so fucking stop being a dick and give her the goddamn reassurance she needs,” Quinn barked from next to me. “If Rory can do it, then so can you.”
I looked over at Xav. His blue eyes were sad and he looked so lost.
“Hey man, chill out. I know I fucked up, okay? Jesus.”
He rubbed his face and met my eyes.
“Angel… I love you. That’s never going to change. You’re my most precious angel and I can’t live in a world where you don’t exist. I already told you I don’t need marriage and shit like that. And even if being with you means putting up with these fools, I don’t care. Already dealt with them most of my life, what’s fifty-odd more years.”
His declaration fit him so perfectly. He didn’t take much in life seriously, but I could see this was something he meant.
“Also… did everyone else conveniently forget our girl here specifically mentioned kids?”
I blinked. I had said that. And the reality was I’d always wanted children.
