“Let me guess. It didn’t work.”
“Of course not. I was a kid, and I didn’t know their problems weren’t because of me. Another little gem from therapy.” She sighed. “Even now, they’ve been divorced for years, but they still make snotty comments about each other when I talk to them. I can’t be stuck in the middle, so I limit communication for my own sanity.”
“Have you ever told them to stop?” It seemed silly to say it. He never thought twice about telling anyone in his family when they pissed him off.
“Not really. I tried once, but it just got ugly. More finger-pointing. I couldn’t stomach it, so I dropped it.”
Things about her started to click into place. The fact that she hadn’t confronted him when she’d thought he’d cheated on her, the look on her face when he caught her in the hallway at the engagement party—she avoided conflict. Come to think of it, he couldn’t remember a time when she even disagreed with him.
“So therapy fixed you all up, huh?”
“I’m working on it.”
That’s what she’d been referring to when they were at the block party. He was glad he waited to push to get these answers.
“We never went to therapy,” he admitted. “After my mom was killed, I mean. Or anytime.”
Kathy looked at him, clearly relieved he switched subjects.
“We were all so young, it probably didn’t occur to my dad. Not that he would’ve taken us because”—he lowered his voice to imitate his dad—“who needs that malarkey anyway?”
She smiled. “Kind of scary how well you do that.”
“I should be good at it. I’ve been listening to that man yell at me my whole life.”
“Do you wish you had gone to therapy?”
He shifted his shoulders. “I don’t know. Part of me thinks we wouldn’t be so screwed up.”
“How do you mean?”
“Jimmy is such a control freak. Part of the reason he didn’t want to fall for Moira was because he knew he couldn’t control her. He needs to keep everyone he cares about safe.” He swallowed the rapidly forming lump in his throat. “Like he couldn’t do for our mom.”
Kathy’s fingers caressed his pecs and stroked across his shoulders. “What about you? While I know you like to be in control in the bedroom, I don’t see the same intensity in you as I do in Jimmy.”
He licked his lips. He knew his greatest fear was being left. He’d noticed it first in his younger siblings, the fear of abandonment, long before he recognized it in himself. That fear was why he’d been so angry when Kathy disappeared from his life. But he wasn’t ready to confess that. So he cracked a grin. “I’m the most normal of the bunch. Haven’t you realized that yet?”
He should’ve known better than to think that would fly. Kathy pushed up off his chest, and he missed the warmth of her body. Scooping her hair behind her, she glared at him. “I offered you complete honesty, and you can’t give me the same?” She shut her mouth, opened it as if to say more, but then just turned and got off the bed.
Kevin scrambled to the edge of the mattress and caught her arm. “Hey, I make jokes. That’s who I am.” He paused. “I’m not even sure of all the ways I’m fucked up.”
She turned to face him and said, “But when I asked, something came into your head that you decided not to share.”
“True.” He swallowed hard again. If he wanted a relationship, a real one, he knew he needed to do the hard stuff. “The thought of being left scares me. First it pisses me off, but I know it’s because I’ll feel empty.” He shook his head. “Now I feel like a total wuss.”
He stood, still holding her hand. She stepped close to him, and her perky tits caught his attention. She kissed his cheek.
“I don’t think you’re a wuss. You did the manly thing and told the truth. Thank you.”
He wasn’t feeling too manly at the moment, but he’d take whatever he could from her.
She stroked his cheek. “I promise not to disappear on you again.”
Grateful that he didn’t have to explain that connection, he watched her walk from the room with her clothes in hand.
* * *
Kathy took her time in the bathroom, hoping Kevin wouldn’t follow her. The sex had been amazing, but she’d expected that. Hell, she’d missed that. Everything that came after, though . . . not only had she not expected it, it rattled her. She didn’t talk to anyone about her parents. Moira was about it. With anyone else, she always glossed over it. Past boyfriends just chalked it up to her not being close to her parents and most were relieved they didn’t have to do the meet-the-parents thing.
Somehow Kevin managed to look beyond any easy answers and pushed for more. She wanted to give him more. She just hadn’t counted on it feeling like this. She wasn’t even sure what this was. A strange combination of anxiety and relief.
In that brief conversation they’d learned more about each other—the real, deep-down stuff—than they’d learned the entire time they’d been together before. Her plan to take it slow with him backfired in unimaginable ways. She couldn’t figure out if it was a good thing. Her body was thrilled with the outcome of the afternoon. Her heart was still wary.
She cleaned up and dressed and found her bedroom empty. Kevin’s clothes were gone and she worried that he’d taken off without saying good-bye. Then she shook her head. He wouldn’t do that, especially now that he’d confessed how important a simple good-bye was to him.
She found him in the kitchen, unwrapping the sandwiches she’d bought for lunch. “I thought you had to leave.”
“I have a little more time before anyone starts wondering where I am.” He grinned. “We did have a lunch
