His thumb stroked her hand. “Why didn’t you just tell me?”
“I knew if I called you, you would convince me to come over.”
He smiled because she was right. He’d wanted to spend the night with her so of course he would’ve tried to talk her into it. But he would’ve tried to fix this first. “Why were you freaking out?”
“I’m not sure. It felt really fast all of a sudden.”
“You’re the one who initiated sex. You said you were ready.”
Her shoulders sagged. “I know that. And it’s not sex. It’s everything.” She took a deep breath and flexed her hands, stretching her fingers out, forcing him to release her. “I think mostly it was the key.”
“The key?”
“I had the key to your apartment in my pocket, and you weren’t going to be home. That’s a lot of trust.”
“I do trust you.”
She licked her lips and stared into his eyes. “But I don’t fully trust you.”
It felt like someone had just forced a rock down his throat and into his empty stomach. He’d known this. She had plenty of reason not to trust him, but he’d been doing everything possible to change that.
She wrapped her fingers around his. “I know you’re trying and I recognize that you’re not the same guy you were five years ago. But I don’t know how to get rid of this gut-level reaction of not trusting you. It’s not fair to you.”
“Yeah, it is. I’ve slept with a lot of people and I can’t even guarantee that I didn’t sleep around when we were together. I’ve led a life of very casual relationships. I always thought everyone was on the same page with me. You weren’t and there’s no changing that. But I’m willing to do anything you need to prove that you can trust me now. I won’t cheat on you. I won’t lie to you.”
She bit her lip. Every time she got quiet like this he felt like she was going to kick him to the curb.
“Swapping keys is too fast. I need to see you and spend time with you.”
“I know.”
“I know you know, but I don’t think you can make it happen. We’ve been trying for weeks now.”
“We can make this happen. In fact, I have some work functions to go to and I’m hoping you’ll be my date. Even if you don’t stay for the whole thing. I know it’s not quite the date you’re looking for, but my appearance is mostly for show. I have to chat some people up, but that’s all.”
She sighed and he half expected her to shoot him down. “Give me the details. I’ll be there. Maybe even go home with you after.”
He stood and pulled her up with him, his heart so much lighter than it had been moments ago. He loved the press of her body against his. “So you’ll spend the night with me as long as I don’t send you to my place alone.”
She nodded slowly. “I really like having sex with you.”
He laughed. “I really like having sex with you too.” He lowered his mouth to hers for a deep kiss. “I’d like to have lots more sex with you.”
She threw her head back and laughed with him. He took advantage of the moment and kissed her neck. Her breath hitched when his tongue made contact, and her hand pushed his shoulder.
“As much as I’d love a repeat performance here, I have a delivery due any minute.”
He smiled. “I can wait until the delivery is done.”
With a chuckle she said, “Anna will be in soon after. We have a crazy busy weekend.”
“Fine,” he said dramatically.
“Text me the details for your fancy parties, and I’ll do my best to be there.”
“No blowing me off. If you can’t make it or don’t want to, say so.”
“And if I say I don’t want to go, you won’t try to talk me into it?”
“Of course I’ll try to talk you into it. It’s not my fault you can’t help but fall for my charm.” He stroked her cheek. “In all seriousness, if you’re freaked out, you need to tell me, so we can deal with it. No running away and avoiding me.”
“Okay,” she whispered.
He pressed a kiss to her lips. “I’ll call you later.”
* * *
When Moira strode through the door of the flower shop, Kathy couldn’t help but smile. Her best friend always came with good advice and great food. What more could she ask for in a friend?
Today she needed a healthy dose of both. Kathy waved to Anna and said, “I’m headed to lunch. Call if you need anything.”
Anna nodded. “Have fun. Hey, Moira. How’s it going?”
“Good. How about with you?”
“Same. How’s married life?”
“No different. Jimmy and I have been living together for long enough that the only thing that’s changed is using ‘Mrs. O’Malley.’ Makes me sound old. And of course, my mother is pressuring me to give her grandchildren now.”
Anna laughed. “Moms do that. Enjoy your lunch. Bring her back in a better mood,” she said with a chin tilt toward Kathy.
Moira looped her arm through Kathy’s as they headed out the door. “So what was that all about?”
“Rough night. And morning.”
“What did Kevin do now?”
“Nothing bad. This is all on me.”
They walked in the late summer sun to a burger place around the corner. Kathy loved that they didn’t need to discuss where they would go.
“Well?” Moira prompted.
Kathy huffed. “I’m an idiot. Kevin and I haven’t been able to see much of each other lately. He’s been working a ton of hours and I get that. I’m not mad, but you know, I want to see my boyfriend.”
Moira made a face.
“What?”
“Just weird hearing you refer to Kevin O’Malley as your boyfriend.”
Kathy nudged her friend’s shoulder. “Would you prefer lover?” She added breathless emphasis on lover.
“Hell no. But go on with your story.”
“So I went to his office to surprise him with dinner and an office plant last night.”
“Oh no.” Moira stopped
