Were there any particular historical figures he found fascinating? ‘To be honest, I haven’t done enough research. But I think if we’re going to bastardise any part of it, we’d be happier bastardising the English part, creating characters who didn’t actually exist. I think the English will hold their hands up and say we did fuck a lot of the world over. I think we’ve kind of accepted that, with a bit of guilt, but we don’t mind now if we are shown to be that way in history. So we wouldn’t mind too much the idea of creating characters who might be several real characters into one.’
He said the film would be made ‘on a global scale’. He hoped filming might begin in 2009. He said it would be a serious dramatic film. He said, ‘Everybody tends to historically just go for the ridiculous.’
Yes, he was quite ridiculous, a smiling, gibbering ninny, but he was also a sweet boy. He has very good manners. As the fourth-generation Rickitt to attend Sedbergh boarding school (established in 1525), he got very good marks. He was accepted into King’s College, Cambridge to study law, and Trinity College, Dublin to study law and philosophy, although he chose acting instead. He is very good with his money: as a sideline to acting, he has made a profit out of property do-ups in England, and plans to continue that line of investment in New Zealand.
He said, ‘I have no problem with capitalism. It’s absolutely fantastic as long as it’s done with respect.’ And: ‘My mother always said there’s no point in spending money if you don’t have it. So I’ve never owned a credit card in my life.’
But this is the man who was arrested in September for shoplifting a jar of coffee, a block of cheese and a bottle of HP sauce at the Henderson Pak’nSave. He said, ‘Humiliating. All my fault. But I’m legally not allowed to say any thing more than that. I would do, entirely, because people would realise just how I was. It wasn’t me. It was them back home. All I will say is that it involved a family death. They always say bad things come in threes. Well, it was literally on the same day I had three bad bits of news – some involving death, some involving illnesses, some involving financial stuff, and it affected a large number of my very immediate family.’
Rickitt’s father is a merchant banker. A family friend who writes for the political journal The Spectator was over at the Rickitt home in Cheshire having drinks one day in 2003 when the conversation turned to voter apathy among the young. It was put to Rickitt that he write something about it. He did, and it led to his startling decision to run as a candidate for the Conservative Party. He said he approached the party on the quiet, but his name was leaked in 2005 after the leader, David Cameron, included Rickitt on his so-called A-list of one hundred potential candidates. Rickitt was subsequently slaughtered in the press as a mere minor celebrity brought in to give the party some glam.
He went nowhere fast. He had hoped to be nominated for three seats close to his family home, but they were unavailable. Instead, he lobbied for Folkestone and Hythe, and failed. Where else? ‘The other place I put my name forward for was … um … not Slough … down in … basically on the south-west coast … I can’t remember its name now. I know that’s awful of me.’
He hasn’t given up hope of running for the Conservatives – or, if he stays on in New Zealand, for the National Party. He’s had approaches, he said. That might well prove very entertaining. Rickitt said he wasn’t afraid, unlike most politicians, to voice an honest opinion. Such as? ‘Well, I agree with fox-hunting, which the Conservative Party also agree with, but they don’t like saying they do.’
Why does he support fox-hunting? ‘Several reasons. First, because it’s a tradition of the countryside, which should be upheld. Secondly, I have seen what a fox will do when it gets into a chicken coop. And hunting is actually a very methodical and relatively … Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure being chased by a pack of hounds isn’t particularly pleasurable, but what’s happening now is that foxes are all being poisoned, and they’re dying long, lingering deaths.’
I asked whether he thought other traditional aspects of English culture were being diluted. ‘Yes. We have a serious immigration problem. That’s not to say you’re anti-black or anti-Asian or anti-anything. It’s purely a question of numbers.’ He talked about his experience of speaking in schools: ‘What I saw were entire classrooms being held back because sixty percent of the pupils couldn’t speak English. And the signs in the school would be in … in … I don’t know, foreign languages.’
They are plainly not his strong suit. As a presenter at the film and television awards in November, Rickitt announced the winner of the best daily current affairs story. It went to Mihingarangi Forbes. He opened the envelope, and spluttered, ‘The winner is – oh, good Lord – somebody Forbes!’
It drew a big warm laugh. The audience clearly considered him a twit, but they were forgiving: he had come such a long way to work, was still finding his way around, and seemed a decent lad, a good chap.
[December 9]
26 Julie Dalzell
Let Them Eat Spinach
Christmas is Jesus, vaguely, and food, definitely, heartily, massively. As we approach December 25, New Zealanders are turning their thoughts to that tremendous word ‘feast’. Such promise. A great big roast chook, a ham as fat as a pig, cream and jellies and cherries, fizz by the bucket, hot sauces and cold comforts – more, please. We can tuck in, fill our boots and knock ourselves out with immunity. It’s
