“Thanks,” I said. A beam of sunlight suddenly burst through the kitchen window. It landed on my face, warming me. “Hank,” I closed my eyes and embraced the sun. “Do you think my mom’s here?” Keeping my eyes closed, I felt the stray tears cascade down my cheeks.
Hank’s hand found my shoulder. “Marissa, I think wherever you are is where your mother is.”
I stood stiffly as he hugged me. I knew if I gave into the embrace too much that I’d collapse. So I just stood there, rigid, and let my tears soak into the front of his white button-down shirt.
Marc and I stood in a line at the front door, along with my grandmother, to say goodbye to all the mourners as they left our little house. I shook hands and gave limp hugs and distant head nods to everyone as they shuffled out. Yes, get out, out, out, out of our house.
Gram let out an exhausted groan just before plopping herself on the big recliner once everyone had left. “I’m glad that’s over with.”
“Me too,” I said.
“I’m going to my room.” Marc hastily retreated upstairs.
Hank began clearing some of the cups and plates off the coffee table. “Oh, Hank, you don’t have to do that,” Gram said.
He was about to respond but something caught his eye. It was one of the photo albums Gram had set out, opened to a page that had a picture of my mother standing on a balcony that overlooked an ocean. The sun was setting, and it cast a warm golden glow over her face. She looked so happy and peaceful. “She was so beautiful.” Hank’s voice broke a little.
Gram got up from her seat and walked toward Mr. Brockwell. They looked at each other momentarily before embracing.
“Thank you, Hank.”
“No problem, Beverly.”
I went to my room, put on some music, and cried myself to sleep.
****
Mr. Brockwell was quiet as he drove me back home from the hospital. I guess he could tell I wasn’t in the mood to chitchat. We had left the hospital once Gram fell asleep. The nurse said we could stay past visiting hours, but I knew Gram would want me to go home and try to get a good night’s rest in my own bed. I still wasn’t sure if I was going to school the next day or not. I wasn’t sure of anything. Gram’s color had improved, but the doctor — the guy I didn’t like — reminded me again as we were leaving that she was under close observation and that the MRI test would give a better idea of where she was. The only place I wanted her to be was back home.
My eyelids were heavy and fluttering as Mr. Brockwell pulled into my driveway. “Are you sure you’re all right being here alone?” he asked.
I unbuckled my seatbelt. “Yes, thank you, Mr. Brockwell.” I grabbed the door handle.
“Why don’t I give you a ride into school tomorrow?”
“Oh, I don’t know,” I stammered.
“Marissa, please, it’s no trouble. You don’t have your car and the school is on my way to work.”
I thought about jogging to school, but then thought better of it. “Well, okay,” I said.
“Marissa, I’m just a phone call away. Okay?”
I had to get out of that car before the waterworks started again. “Thanks,” I choked out before dashing from the car.
As I walked past the hedges to the front door, a gasp escaped me. It took all I could to fight against a scream as I saw a figure sitting on my front steps. The bulb in the outside light was dim and needed to be replaced so all I could see was a shadow of a man.
“Marissa, it’s me.” Brandon stepped toward me.
My heart felt like it was beating outside of my body. “Brandon! You scared the life out of me.” I placed my hand on my chest as if that would help calm my pulse down.
“I’m sorry.” He stood before me now, smelling like musk and fabric softener. “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I mean if I can get my heart rate back to normal, but yeah, I’m okay.” My body was tingling, but I could feel some calmness returning.
“No,” he said. “I mean, is everything all right? I’ve been texting and calling you. I was worried something was wrong.”
My phone. I had forgotten to take my phone with me! “Oh no, I’m, I’m…” What to say, what to say? “I don’t have my phone with me.” My voice was shaking, along with my hands.
“Oh man, I was freaking out there a bit.” He wrapped his arms around me, and I wanted to melt into the warmth of his chest like a toasted marshmallow between chocolate and graham crackers. “Sorry, if I’m being lame. It’s just, I don’t know, accidents happen, and I just… was worried.” He kissed the top of my head.
I knew from what he said that he was thinking about Bobby. About Bobby’s accident. It was like after my mom died, every time anyone got sick I immediately thought they had cancer. No matter if they just had a cold, I thought it was cancer. And when Brandon couldn’t reach me, it made him think I may have been in an accident. I felt my heart break just a little bit more.
“Anyway.” He stepped back and grabbed something from the steps. He held out a small box to me. “I have a little surprise for you.” Even through the dim light I could see his grin shining.
I felt little acrobats doing flips in my stomach as I opened up the small white box. “Brandon…” I had trouble breathing as I stared down at the bracelet. Its beautiful dark-blue glass stone flanked by two small white chunks of sea glass sat perfectly in the box atop a piece of purple tissue paper. “Brandon,” I said again, my heart feeling a toxic mix of joy and sorrow.
“I saw how much you liked it when we
