“Why not?” I asked.
“He said that life is full of tremendous moments disguised as ordinary ones. That you don’t need to be great to live a great life.”
“And you agree with him.”
“I think you have to balance drive with joyfulness.” In an instant, his sober expression was replaced with a mischievous one. “And so, tomorrow, Malie Analu, you will make time for a little joy?”
I smiled. “I will.”
I popped a piece of cotton candy into my mouth and watched as Tilly picked up another empty popcorn container from the ground. Long lines always kept Tilly busy, because she had so much time to notice the litter.
“You can’t pick up every piece of trash, Till,” I said over the shrieking coming from the Tilt-A-Whirl. The school carnival stretched down the length of the pier, a parade of colored lights and music. It was brilliant in its chaos and vibrancy. The lines for the rides, though, were endless.
“I can.” Tilly mock-glared at me. “I will.”
Andres grabbed her waist and spun her around, making her dissolve into giggles. They kissed, and I turned back to Ethan, Eve, and Lanz. I never felt like an outsider around Andres and Tilly, even though sometimes I could swear they were speaking some language of love that was completely foreign to me. Tonight, though, things felt different.
Lanz, Eve, Ethan, and I made an awkward foursome on the outskirts of Tilly and Andres’s seamless couplehood.
“They’re so good together,” Eve remarked, looking shy.
“They always have been,” I said. “Right, Ethan?” I turned to Ethan, but he had his head bent over his phone. “Ethan?”
“Huh?” He blinked, like he was waking up from a dream. “Sorry. What?”
I held back a sigh. This was how the entire night had gone so far. Lanz, who was usually so chatty and comfortable, was strangely quiet around Eve. I felt oddly buoyed by the fact that they weren’t hitting it off, and then guilty that I seemed to want their date to fail. It didn’t help that Ethan, all the while, had stayed firmly focused on his phone.
Now he smiled apologetically. “I was just rereading my invention log. It has to be ready for the judges by next week.”
“But I’m off work,” I gently reminded him. “I’m at the carnival for the first time ever. Maybe the invention log can wait?”
He hesitated, then smiled. “You’re right. It’s gone as of now—”
“Ethan, wait,” Eve piped up. “I’ve been meaning to ask you if I could see your log. I’ve been having trouble with mine. I’d love to see how yours is coming together.”
“Really?” His eyes brightened. If his face hadn’t been cast in the shadow of the Tilt-A-Whirl, I swear I might’ve seen him blushing. “If you really want to …” He glanced at me, then added, “It’ll just be a minute, Mal. I’ll put the phone away afterward. Promise.”
He didn’t wait for me to respond before he and Eve bent their heads over his phone, lost in some science lingo that only they could understand. They stayed like that until it was finally our turn for the Tilt-A-Whirl.
“She’s great, isn’t she?” Ethan asked me as we slid into our neon-orange egg-shaped car for the ride.
“Yeah, very sweet. But I’m not sure she and Lanz have much in common.” I craned my neck to get a glimpse of them on their shared Tilt-A-Whirl seat. They sat with a generous space between them. Both of them were smiling politely, like they were trying to be good sports. “It’s not the worst thing in the world if they end up not being into each other. Right?”
“Right,” Ethan seconded. “Lanz isn’t much of a science guy, I guess.”
“Nope. And she certainly seems into science.”
“She lives for it!” Ethan nodded. “Her invention is brilliant, actually. Way more impressive than mine. If she makes it to the national convention, it’ll be a blast to go with her.” He stopped, then added, “I mean, just to hang out with another kid from our school there, you know?”
I studied his face. I didn’t think I’d ever seen him so enthusiastic about anything other than science before. Lit up from the inside out. That was how he looked. A sudden thought struck me: Does Ethan look like that when he thinks about me? When he talks about me to his friends in science lab?
Then the ride started, the world whirled, and the thought slipped away into the streams of light spinning around us.
I gripped Ethan’s arm, burying my head against his shoulder, and he wrapped his arm around me. I waited to feel an electric rush, but nothing happened except a dizzying headache.
When the ride finished, I climbed out of our car unsteadily and with the bland sensation of being let down, although by what, exactly, I couldn’t say. Tilly and Andres were waiting for us, Tilly rolling her eyes at Andres as he pretended to be so dizzy that he had to cling to her for support. Lanz and Eve stood a polite distance apart, quiet and awkward. Eve looked pale, and I wondered if all that spinning had been too much for her.
We bought more cotton candy, then walked to the fun house, which was Andres’s favorite.
“You just like to check out your biceps in the hall of mirrors,” Tilly teased him.
“How do you know I’m not admiring you?” Andres retorted. “Instead of one Tilly, there are dozens.”
She made a face, but I could tell she was pleased by what he’d said.
We walked into the fun house, navigating a crooked floor, a maze of doors, and an optical illusion room. Andres and Tilly went up ahead, and Eve and I fell into step beside each other as we entered a narrow corridor of revolving barrels. I leapt lightly over the barrels, but Eve stumbled until we reached the other side.
