“We’ve been so busy at the parlor …” I sighed, thinking about all the ways the conversation with Mom could go so wrong. “She won’t be happy I lied. Or that rehearsals will take up so much time.”
“Mal.” Tilly’s gaze was stern.
“Okay, okay. I’ll tell her. Only … not yet. I’ll start rehearsals, get a good feel for the routines, and then I’ll tell her.” Suddenly, I wanted desperately to change the subject, and then I had the way to do it. “Ethan!” I blurted out. “I’ve got to tell Ethan!”
I took off at a jog toward the science lab, leaving Tilly and Andres staring after me.
I was about to burst into the science lab, but I saw something through the door’s window that stopped me.
Ethan and Eve were bent over a beaker, deep in conversation about whatever they were witnessing in a frothing blue substance. Ethan grazed Eve’s hand with his fingertips. It could’ve been that he was showing her how to measure some of the powder she was holding, or it could’ve been flirting. It definitely had a flirting look to it, and yet they both seemed innocently oblivious.
I blushed, feeling like a spy. Could I be angry at Ethan for something he didn’t realize he was doing? Did I even feel angry? Or was I simply surprised? I hardly knew. I stood frozen for a few seconds more until Greg, another kid in the science club, brushed past me into the room. He dropped his backpack onto a desk with a clang, making Ethan and Eve jump. When they caught sight of me standing in the doorway, they stepped apart instantly.
Eve gave me an embarrassed smile. “Malie! Hey!”
Ethan walked toward me, his face cranberry. “Hey, you.” He gave a backward glance to Eve, then mumbled, “We were finishing up an experiment.”
I nodded, deciding not to overthink what I’d just seen. I could’ve imagined it, and besides, Ethan wouldn’t ever intentionally do anything to hurt me. And Eve had Lanz now. At least, I thought she did. My stomach twisted, but I shook the feeling away. This was a good day. A great day. I wasn’t about to psychoanalyze it into ruins.
Which was what made me announce “I’m Cinderella!” a little too loudly, causing everyone in the lab to stare. “In the conservatory’s ballet,” I added, more softly this time. “I just found out!”
“Mal, that’s awesome!” Ethan grinned. “I knew you’d get in!” He stepped closer to hug me, but then hesitated awkwardly, as if he was worried about others seeing. When his arms finally wrapped around me, they rested lightly on my shoulders—the most platonic hug he’d ever given me.
“Thanks.” I smiled, even though his congratulations felt a little like a letdown. “I have a lot of work to do. The ballet’s June first. A month away.”
Ethan frowned. “The first? Oh no.” He rubbed his forehead. “That’s the weekend of the National Invention Convention. In DC.”
“Oh.” The bubble of happiness inside me wobbled, threatening to pop. “You promised you’d come.”
His face was pained. “I had no idea that the national convention would be that weekend, and I … I …” He glanced at his feet, looking so torn that I reached for his hand.
“You have to go,” I said matter-of-factly. This was what we’d always told each other, that we’d never stand in each other’s way. “You can’t miss the chance.”
Relief crossed his face. “Thanks for seeing that. This is huge for me. It’s everything, really.”
Everything. I paused over that word. If it was everything, then that made me … what? A lump of hurt formed at the back of my throat, and my vow to be understanding was forgotten. “You don’t have to look so happy about it,” I snapped. Then, when I felt Eve’s eyes on me, I spun around and hurried into the hallway.
“Mal, wait!” Ethan caught up to me. “What just happened? You said a second ago that I had to go—”
“I know I did!” I blew out a breath. “That’s what I’m supposed to say. But I thought … that you’d be more upset about missing my performance. Why are you so detached? Shouldn’t I matter more to you than that?”
“You matter to me. You know that.” His gaze was sincere, making my heart crumple.
“I do. But maybe not the way I should matter to you.” I swallowed. The niggling fears that had been building inside me over the last few weeks burbled to the surface now. “Ethan. Do you ever wonder if we’re too right for each other? So right that we’re, I don’t know, missing something?”
His brow furrowed. “What are you saying? That you’re not happy with this anymore? With … us?”
My face was burning. “I … I don’t know. I want to think about this—”
“Ethan?” Eve stuck her head around the door. “The bell’s about to ring and we’ve got to clean up.”
“Be there in a sec,” he said, then refocused on me. “Mal, if you’re saying we should break up—”
“How upset would you be if we did break up? Honestly?” I held his gaze until he dropped his eyes in silence. “We’re friends. We’ve always been friends. But friendship isn’t the same as dating. Maybe … maybe we both need to think about that for a while. On our own.”
He opened his mouth to argue, then shut it again. His expression was a maelstrom of frustration and confusion, but he didn’t look hurt. When he spoke again, it was a quiet, “Then what?”
I offered him a small smile and a shrug. “Then … we see where we are. Okay?”
He peered into my eyes for a long minute, then returned my smile with one of his own. “Okay.”
I nodded toward the science lab. “Eve needs your help. I’ll … call you?”
He gave me a final nod, then disappeared through the door. I headed down the hallway, a
