We entered the restaurant and found a seat in a booth at the back. It was one of those Ma and Pa places, with the red-checkered tablecloths, a long glass box in the back displaying lemon and coconut pies, and a jukebox playing “Love Me Tender.” The place wasn’t a dive, but it wouldn’t have been my first choice if I’d had any say in the matter.
“We could have just found a drive thru,” I told Brent as I sat across from him.
“Where’s the fun in that?”
He passed me a menu, and as I scanned over it, I decided I was okay with the place. At least we hadn’t stopped at some fancy Italian restaurant—then I would’ve had a hard time rationalizing this wasn’t a date.
When the waitress arrived, we both placed our orders, and soon after that, our food came out of the kitchen.
“What do you think?” Brent asked as I tried my pulled-pork sandwich.
“It’s not bad.”
To be fair, I hardly ever ate barbecue, so I didn’t have much to compare it to.
“You know,” he said after a pause in our conversation, “there was a time when I thought I wanted to have a family and all. But now, I’m happy the way I am. Work isn’t all stress all the time. It settles down now and then. I guess I’m saying that I’m happy with the way my life is now.”
“You don’t miss the architecture thing?”
“Not at all.”
“And you don’t miss other things?”
“No. I don’t.”
I chewed a bite of sandwich, wishing I felt the same way. But the honest truth was, I hated my life now. I was lonelier than I’d ever been before, and I’d been pretty darn lonely to begin with. The worst part was that I saw no end in sight for said loneliness.
“How about you? With work and everything, do you feel happier than you did before?”
“I umm…” I sipped my Diet Coke, trying to come up with something that would sound half true. “Yeah, work. You know… it’s always been fulfilling to help people who would never find help anywhere else.”
“And you don’t miss anything else?”
“Well, I…”
I rested my chin in my hand and stared out the restaurant’s only window. The emerald pine boughs swayed slightly. Earth could be a lovely place at times, but its beauty paled in comparison to Faythander. I missed Faythander—I missed the sky king and my dragon home. I missed spending time with Wults and elves. I missed Kull the most, and now I knew I would never get him back because he didn’t exist anymore. He’d been replaced with a hardened shell of a man who only vaguely resembled the person I’d fallen in love with.
“To be honest, I sort of hate my life right now.” I stared at my hands, dreading his reply.
“Yes. I know.”
I looked up. “You do?”
He nodded.
“How long have you known?”
“Pretty much when I first saw you.”
“That long, huh?” Brent knew me better than I gave him credit for.
“You don’t seem like yourself. Something’s different, but I still haven’t been able to decide what—or why.”
I pushed loose strands of hair behind my ears, my fingers brushing over their pointed tips, reminding me that I wasn’t like him. I wasn’t like anyone. I didn’t really fit in anywhere or with anyone. There was only one person who made me feel normal, and he wasn’t the same.
“You can tell me what’s going on. You know that, right?”
I avoided eye contact. “I guess.”
“So what’s up?”
I let out a breath of air. “I’m leaving tomorrow morning. I have to go back to Faythander and speak with my stepfather about what’s been going on here, and I have to take someone who I used to have feelings for with me. I’m not really looking forward to it.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Would you be referring to the guy you dumped me for?”
“Yes, but don’t rub it in my face, all right? I should have never dated him. I get it. I’m an awful judge of character, and I should have never let myself get caught up with a person like him.”
“Olive, look at me.”
Reluctantly, I looked up, expecting to see his gloating grin. Instead, his dark eyes were wide and intense. “Do you still love him?”
“What? No!”
Brent didn’t look convinced. “You’re positive about that?”
“It’s been ten months. I’m over him.”
He didn’t answer. He only gave me that glare that told me he wasn’t buying it.
“I mean… I should be over him by now, right?”
“Not necessarily. You tell me—why can’t you get over him?”
“First, I am over him. And second, if for some reason I wasn’t, it’s not entirely my fault. Our society thinks love can be turned off and on, like it’s a lightbulb or something. People in the gossip magazines always talk about open relationships, no strings attached, that sort of thing. But the truth is, once love touches you, it leaves a mark. It imprints on your brain chemistry, and it’s not something you can just wish away.
“Anyway,” I said, sitting back, “that may be one reason.”
“It’s not an altogether bad reason.”
“No, it’s not.”
The waitress stopped by our table and left the ticket. Before I felt ready, we were back in Brent’s car and headed for the festival grounds. I watched through the glass as the sun sank and my mind replayed our conversation.
Do you still love him?
Chapter 12
The next morning I woke with a pounding headache. I hadn’t slept well. At 4:30, I’d finally given up and headed for the shower.
I stood in the efficiency shower with the hot water beating on my back, my eyes closed, replaying my conversation with Brent. I didn’t want to, but I needed to come
