I felt as if all my rational thoughts drained away as I flexed my fists, letting magic flow freely around my arms and into my hands. The energy licked between the joints of my fingers, warm and pulsing. I’d been waiting so long to do this. It seemed so glaringly obvious now. All I had to do was kill him, and my troubles would go away.
I shoved him again, this time letting my magic help me. As my fists connected with his chest, he stumbled back, so I hit him again and again. Magic buzzed in my ears, so loud it made all other sounds fade. He did nothing to stop me, so I punched his face, hitting him so hard he fell down. I stood over him, Faythander magic flaring bright blue, casting the room in an intense electric glow.
When I focused on the man lying on the ground, I paused. Dark blood trickled from his nose. Had I done that? I breathed heavily, my chest rising and falling.
“Olive,” he said softly, “you need to calm down.”
“No!” I yelled, tears mingling with the ash on my face. “You can’t control me anymore, Kull. You have no idea who I am or what I’m capable of. You’ve never understood me. You think I can raise the dead—I can’t. I can’t! Before your father died, he accepted me. He knew he would have to die in order to save our world, and he knew I would be the one to save it. He understood me—and he accepted me. But you never knew it. You never let me tell you because you left me. You took my heart, and then you left me! I’ve suffered since that day. Every morning I wake up and wish I were dead. I hate you. I hate you so much!”
Power pulsed around me in flames of white and blue. It swelled inside my chest, a tight, painful feeling that demanded to be released.
“Olive.” He said my name again, quietly, calmly. “Your magic is not letting you think clearly.”
“No! You shouldn’t have come back. You knew I was here on Earth. If I kill you, it’s your own fault, because you came back when you shouldn’t have. You made me this way.”
I couldn’t tell what he was thinking, but I didn’t care. I wanted to hurt him again and make him feel the way he’d made me feel. He needed to suffer.
“Hurting me will solve nothing.”
“I can’t!” I screamed. “I’ve tried for too long to forget you, and I can’t. There’s only one way out—only one way to make the pain stop.”
“You’re angry because I removed you from the tent. I apologize, but what you failed to see was that the woman had concealed an Earth weapon—a pistol—inside the vase. She would have shot you.”
I paused. “What?”
“She smashed the vase so she could get to the weapon.”
“You’re sure? She had a gun? You saw it?”
“Yes. I’m also certain it was her intention to kill you. She fears for her own life, and so she’s desperate.”
I mulled over his words. My breathing evened out a tiny bit. I still wanted to kill him, but maybe not right at this moment.
Would Madame Glitter really have shot me? I’d been blinded by the ash, so I hadn’t seen the gun. Maybe Kull was lying about the gun to save his skin—but that didn’t make any sense.
My head spun. I couldn’t seem to see straight anymore, so I sat on the floor, placing my head in my hands. Gritty ash coated my tongue. I tried brushing the ash out of my hair and off my face, but when it mingled with my tears, it smeared and made the mess even worse. What was I doing? Why was I even trying? I’d almost been shot and hadn’t even noticed the gun. Kull was right. I was reckless.
As my magic receded, my energy seemed to fade with it, leaving me feeling like an empty shell. We sat together in the quiet of the booth, neither of us speaking. I’d become accustomed to his silence. It seemed nowadays he only spoke when he was angry. I glanced at him and found him looking at me with concern in his eyes. It was hard to ignore the blood drying on his face or how pale he’d become.
I’d almost killed him. Heaven help me, I’d almost killed him!
I didn’t know what to say. I supposed I could apologize, but most of what I’d said was true. I also felt mortified that I’d just told Kull how I felt about him after trying to hide it for so long. What was wrong with me?
“I almost killed you. Why didn’t you defend yourself?” I said finally.
“It would have only angered you more.”
My heart turned to lead in my chest, and I felt a little like puking. Sitting so close to him made it hard for me to keep my thoughts straight. Everything was wrong. We weren’t supposed to be this way—I wasn’t supposed to be trying to kill him! But there was nothing I could do to make it right. I felt completely hopeless.
I crossed my arms over my chest, resolving not to let my feelings for him distract me any longer. I needed to think methodically and logically. There were evil forces at work in this world and in Faythander, and if I kept letting my emotions get in the way, I’d never stop the monster responsible for stealing the starstones. Kull was also here to find the starstone, so logically, killing him would not help in my goal of finding the monster.
He removed a handkerchief from his pocket and cleaned the blood from his face, laughing as he wiped it away.
I shot him a questioning glance. “You’re laughing?”
“Yes. I have faced many foes in my lifetime, but never have I felt as much fear as the moment you unleashed your power on me. I’m fairly certain
