A week later, I lay on a rent-a-couch in my apartment. It was morning, but I hadn’t slept all night. Time didn’t have any meaning to me anymore. The pain hadn’t stopped once. I’d expected to feel somewhat human again after a week of misery, but no such luck.
My phone rang—Dr. Hill’s ringtone—but I didn’t answer it. He’d been trying to call me for a couple of days, ever since I’d stupidly told him what had happened. And now the man wanted to fix me. Fix me. How could someone be fixed when there were no working parts left?
I was broken beyond repair. When I had sealed all portals shut forever, I had sealed my own fate. I would never see Kull again.
The clock ticked on the wall. Its incessant sound reminded me I was alive, although I felt dead inside. Dead and alone.
Everything that was prophesied to happen had happened. I had become the Deathbringer, destroyed the world, and taken the lives of billions. Kull had killed me—or close enough—he thought I was dead, and I wasn’t sure I could argue the point. I wasn’t sure how much meaning life had left to me anymore.
I had mended the rift—the one thing Lucretian had told me to fear—and now I knew why. It was done. All the prophecies had been fulfilled. Unsurprisingly, I hadn’t gotten my happy ending.
But there was still a silver lining. There always was if I took the time to look for it. Theht was dead, both our worlds were saved, and there was no chance she could put them in danger ever again. I no longer had to worry about becoming the Deathbringer.
Han stalked out of the bedroom and into the living room, then sat and stared at me. He didn’t mewl or jump onto my lap. After a minute, he stood and walked to his empty food bowl, sniffed it, then crossed back toward me and sat again.
Grudgingly, I stood and stumbled into the kitchen. After scooping his food, I stared around the kitchen, wondering why it was such a mess, but feeling too depressed to do anything about it.
When I tried to make it back into the living room to resume my sentence on the couch, I tripped over my pack.
I stooped to pick it up, but when I lifted it, my Barbie mirror fell out.
Stupid thing.
Of course, without the portals, the mirror was obsolete. When I plucked it off the floor, not feeling any magic inside, I was reminded of my state of loneliness once again.
I stomped to the trash can, intent on throwing it away, when the corner of a piece of paper slid out.
Odd.
I placed the mirror on the counter and opened it. A folded sheet of parchment—the kind used in Faythander—rested atop my figurines. Curious, I picked it up and unfolded it. The script was written in Kull’s hand.
Dear Olive,
I write this on the morning after our wedding as I watch you sleep. It occurred to me as I woke during that dark hour before the sun rises that I’ve never been able to express how I feel about you. It’s never been easy for me to talk about my emotions. I’m Wult and we’re just lousy at that kind of thing. So, I thought perhaps this would be easier to say in writing. I’ve told you I love you before and I’m sure I’ll say those words for many years to come, until the words become so trite that saying them no longer means anything. The words will come too easily and end up a rote phrase, like a greeting, a farewell, or an oration recited too many times to count. So I thought perhaps you should know exactly what these words mean to me.
I love you.
It means you are my life.
I love you.
It means you are my everything.
I love you.
Without you, I am nothing. You are my forever. Neither time, distance, or death will change how I feel.
I love you and always will.
-Kull
I read the letter repeatedly, until my tears made the letters blur. With shaking hands, I folded the letter and placed it back atop my figurines. My gaze snagged on my ring.
All the magic was gone from the jewels, yet still I wore it. The ring, like the letter, gave me hope.
I will find a way back to him. I don’t care how long it takes, but it will happen.
It will not end this way.
Again, my phone rang. It sat on the counter near me, Dr. Hill’s number appearing on the screen. I debated on whether to answer it.
Was I ready to talk to him? I realized that if I did this, it meant I was moving on. I was accepting that Kull would no longer be a part of my life, and I would have to live with that fact for a very, very long time.
Finally, I relented and answered.
“Before you say anything,” I said before he had the chance to speak, “I’ve got to tell you something first. I’m not okay and I fully admit it. I’m broken beyond repair. If you want me to fix anyone, it will be a complete farce, because you’re asking someone who’s completely ruined to do it. It will be the greatest hypocrisy the world has ever seen. But if you still want me, I’m here. And I’m ready to work. I want to heal others precisely because I can’t heal myself.”
After a pause, he asked, “Is that all?”
“Yes,” I said with a sigh. Finally, I felt as if a weight had lifted off my shoulders. For the first time in a week, I knew I could keep going. “Yes, that’s all.”
“Alright then, I’ll meet you tomorrow in my office. We’ve got a huge client list to discuss.”
“Okay. I’ll see
