The wolf sat on his haunches and sniffed the air.
“Good job, Wolf,” I said. “You did it.”
“But how?” Raj asked. “We wandered in circles all day yesterday.”
“I don’t know.” I glanced at the wolf. “I guess you just have to know the right person.”
He gave a playful yelp, then led us down the trail. I half expected the forest to swallow us up and send us back to the beginning of the trail, or giant wolves to jump out and attack us, but nothing happened, and we finally approached the edge of the woods.
The world brightened as we left the enchanted forest behind us. Green grass rolled in waves along either side of the road. The air held the scent of sunlight. Feeling it again on my skin was more exhilarating than I thought possible.
I cautiously pushed the hood off my head, letting the sunlight bathe my hair that trailed behind me as we rode. I wasn’t sure I’d ever felt so free. The sensation was foreign to me. I’d been locked away in the tower for so long, and being out on the open road, with the wind and the sun on my skin, was a new experience.
In Willow Wood, I hardly ever traveled during the day. My hair stayed hidden in the darkness, and that was the way I wanted it.
Raj had asked me what I wanted to do with my life, and now I knew the answer.
I wanted freedom.
The unexpected emotions caught me off guard, and I glanced back at Raj who trailed behind me. Watching me, his curious gaze lingered on my hair. Reluctantly, I pulled the cowl back over my head, covering my hair, resuming my sentence in the shadows once again.
Raj rode up next to me and kept pace with my horse.
“Why do you wear the cowl now?” he asked.
“I’ve told you before.”
“No. You said it was for protection—to stay hidden from those who might harm you. But why do you wear it now?”
I didn’t know what to say, so I said nothing.
“Is it because of me?” he asked.
“No…”
“You fear me?”
“I don’t. Not exactly.”
“Then what?”
I fisted my hands around the reins, the leather straps smooth and warm, wishing he would’ve just stayed behind me and not decided to have a conversation.
“I don’t fear you, but maybe I don’t trust you, either.”
He nodded, his jaw clenched, as if unhappy with my answer. “What can I do to earn your trust?”
“I don’t know. Maybe you can’t.”
“What does that mean?”
I pondered his question before speaking. “I’ve never known many men in my life, and the ones I know, like the high sorcerer, are hardly people I trust. I barely knew my own father. I’ve been in a tower with a cat and a half-sane companion for the last five years. I guess I don’t know how to trust anyone, to be honest.”
And I’d just opened up to him. I certainly hadn’t meant to. What had happened to staying quiet? Not only had I spoken, but I’d divulged an intimate piece of myself that I’d never told anyone before. I’d almost admitted to him that I was a miserable, lonely wretch. This was going too far.
“I thank you for your honesty,” he said.
Don’t get used to it.
“Why did you leave me last night?” Raj asked.
“Leave you?”
“Yes, I was trying to thank you for healing me, and then you left. This morning, you’ve hardly spoken a word. Why?”
I looked away. “I don’t know.”
“I only meant to compliment you. I don’t understand why you’re avoiding me.”
“I’m not avoiding you,” I said without much conviction.
“Have I offended you somehow? Are you upset because I was injured by the wolf and didn’t protect you as I should have?”
“What? Of course not! You saved my life. I didn’t realize how incredible you were at wielding a blade. You really are an amazing fighter, and very talented, and amazing. You’re really… amazing.” I was stumbling over my words, so I stopped talking and took a deep breath. “You’re very good with a sword,” I stated, enunciating so I wouldn’t stumble, an edge of formality to my voice.
He grinned. “You think I’m an amazing fighter?”
“Yes, but don’t let it go to your head.”
“Oh, I won’t.” He winked.
I swallowed hard, fighting that flighty feeling deep in my stomach. I kicked my horse ahead, hoping he hadn’t seen my burning cheeks. As I left him behind, I didn’t want to contemplate a romantic relationship with him, because I knew logically, it could never happen. Heaven knew he’d gotten too close already. Maintaining my distance from him was the only option I had. I couldn’t allow myself to open up to him again.
The grasslands gave way to sloping hills. When the sun crested the sky’s zenith, the dark shapes of mountains appeared on the horizon.
“The Wrallic Mountains,” Raj said, riding his horse beside mine.
“Yes. We’re almost to the old castle,” I said. “It’s in the valley just beyond the mountains.”
Sable pranced, and I pulled her to a stop. Raj halted his horse beside mine. Uneasiness settled over me. It had been five years, but sometimes it felt like yesterday when I lived there. I knew it wouldn’t be the same, but the memories of that place still haunted me.
“Are you okay?” Raj asked me.
I glanced at him, remembering my vow not to open up to him. “Yes, I’m sure I’ll be fine.”
“You are? You don’t look fine.”
I sighed. This wouldn’t be as easy as I’d thought. “It was my home once. I guess I’m anxious about returning.”
“I understand. I suppose I’ll be faced with the same problem once we reach the Outerlands. It’s not easy going back to a place with so many memories when you know it will never be the same.”
I only nodded, and we continued down the road.
