“It’s open,” I call out, not even turning to my side to see who will walk in. The door opens, and I can hear the heavy footsteps across the doorway. “Knives are on the counter, and plastic bags are in the top drawer. All I ask is that you make it quick and painless. I won’t struggle; I’m far too exhausted.”
A snicker comes out from behind me, followed by, “I’d much rather take my time with you and definitely not in the way you’re implying…which might I add, is morbid.”
I shoot up and turn to the voice. “Dylan!”
“Hey!” he greets, a broad smile crossing from ear to ear, then he says, “I think I owe you an apology.”
I stand from the couch, hands on hips. “Really? You think?”
His smile falls. “You have every right to be angry with me, Vel.” I walk past him and to the counter. “Vel, where are you going?”
I look up to him. “To grab something to throw at you. I’m going to want to have it handy.”
He sighs. “I’m serious, Vel. I’m sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”
I lean against the counter, crossing my arms over my chest, more to keep them from trembling than anything else. “You should be. Dylan, I get that you don’t want to be with me, but the things you said and did were hurtful.”
He steps toward me. “That’s just it, Velyn. I do want to be with you, and the way I’ve been acting…well, was stupid.”
“What? Are you serious right now?” I ask, confused.
Moving in front of me, he brings both his hands to either side of my face. “I want to be with you. I’ve made so many mistakes, Velyn, and now I want to make them right.”
I push off the counter, causing Dylan to drop his hands, and I move past him to the other side. “You made a shitload of mistakes, so why would you think that it would be as easy as coming up in here and throwing out some half-assed apology?”
“I didn’t think, Velyn…I was hoping. You have every right to tell me to fuck off.”
I growl. “Oh, really, that easy? Then fuck off!”
He lets out a sigh, but his brows curve almost in amusement. “Could you at least hear me out first.”
I scoff. “Oh, what…like you heard me out? Yeah no. My time is far too precious to listen to your blubbering, oh woe is me, rant.”
“Velyn?” he growls.
I growl back. “Don’t Velyn me. I’m not walking on eggshells with you anymore, Dylan. I’m done. I am exhausted. You exhaust me. Everything I’ve thought about you has tired me to the point that I no longer have the drive to care anymore.”
“So, what, you don’t love me anymore?” he asks.
“Ha! Who said anything about love? I think those were your exact words,” I throw out in a reply.
“Velyn, you’re being unreasonable.”
Now, my growl comes from deep within, and I step right up to him. “I’m unreasonable? I’m unreasonable?” I repeat, my voice getting higher. I poke my finger sharply into his chest, jabbing it with each word. “If I’m unreasonable, it’s because you made me that way.”
He laughs. He actually laughs. “You’re cute when you're angry.”
Mother Fu—!
Now he’s pissed me off. I take my thumb and finger, pinching where I think his nipple would be and twist.
“Ow, ow, ow. Vel, what the shit, that hurts. Stop. Vel, ow.”
I give it one last squeeze and push him away from me. “You asshole. Do you have any idea what you’ve put me through? You broke my heart, and you know what stupid me thought? That maybe if I stuck it out, you would come around, so I went back for more. Well, guess what, jackass? I’m not letting you do it again. I’m done. I think it’s time you leave and don’t bother coming back.”
He just stands there, now crossing his arms over his chest and looking down to me. “Nope.”
“What did you just say?” I ask.
He stands taller. “I. Said. Nope. I can spell it out for you if you’d like.”
I let out a breath, my shoulders falling. “Why are you doing this, Dylan? Why are you here, honestly?”
He digs his hand into his back pocket, pulling out his wallet. Searching inside, he then pulls out a small piece of paper and hands it to me. I look at him for only a moment then look at the paper.
‘Push me away all you want, but I’m not going anywhere, so deal with it.’
When I look up to him, the tears have already made their way out. He takes my hand, pulling me closer, and with his one arm now snaked around my
waist, his free hand comes to wipe those tears away gently.
“I was an idiot. I did push because I was scared. Velyn, the way I feel about you scared the shit out of me. My whole life, I was made to believe that if you give your heart to someone, then they’ll have the power to destroy you. The thing is, what I didn’t know was that giving someone that kind of hold over you was the only way to be loved back. I loved Sarah; she was the only mother I knew, and when she walked away, I closed myself off. Well, I thought I had. But really there’s no way to stop it. I can’t control whom I let in any more than I can control what happened to Chase. It just happens. Shit happens, good and bad. It took me to lose it all and being alone to realize that I need shit to happen. That I need you because without you none of it’s worthwhile.”
My forehead falls to his chest,
