“What weapons?” Diana demanded. “Your bugs totally trashed Kris’ slingshot and dumped her quiver back in the access corridor when they grabbed us.”
He shook his head and pointed at…
She couldn’t stop herself from looking down.
…her belt pouch. So much for subterfuge. Still, in order to take it off her, he’d have to come close enough to grab. It was possible that direct physical contact could work in her favor—darkside and lightside canceling each other out until only the more powerful remained. While willing to admit that finesse was not her strong point, Diana was fairly sure that in a contest involving raw potential, she’d be the last one standing.
Unfortunately, it seemed that she wasn’t the only one who thought so.
The bug shoved one of its smaller serrated legs between the strap and her waist. A quick sawing motion and it caught the belt pouch in its pincer as it fell. A quick twist scattered bits of the pouch and her defensive possibilities over the base of the dais.
“A few keys. Some seeds. Thread. A watch face. All primed and ready to be used. Such a shame if these fell into the wrong hands, Keeper.” He laughed at the wand which looked even more pink and plastic than usual against the black marble. “Oh, wait; you also brought a toy sent out to spread discord amongst the great unskilled.” He shook his head. “You thought you could defeat me with this?”
Since it seemed to be a rhetorical question, Diana settled for glaring. He would have felt the power discharge when she defeated the dark elf, but he clearly didn’t realize the wand had directed it. That might give them an advantage later. If they had a later…
Frowning, he looked down at the last item, a white, paper-wrapped cylinder that had bounced away from the rest. “And what,” he demanded, “is this?”
“You don’t want to know.”
Kris snickered.
“On the contrary.” A gesture brought a meat-mind out from where it had been lurking, the torches throwing its shadow around the room as it moved. Another gesture had it bend and pick the paper cylinder off the floor. “Do you tell me, or do I have my minion use it against you?”
Diana sighed. “It’s a tampon.”
The meat-mind blinked, looked down at what it was holding, and dropped it, shaking its fingers free of any contamination.
“Oh, please. It’s not like it’s been used.”
“Guys,” Kris snorted.
“Really.”
“Perhaps,” snarled the man on the throne, his lip curled in disdain, “you’ll find the situation less amusing after a little torture.”
“With a tampon?”
The disdain became confusion. “What?”
“You’re going to torture us with a tampon?”
Became distaste. “Stop saying that!”
“Saying what?” Diana asked. “Tampon?”
“Feminine hygiene product?” Kris offered.
“Maxi pad?”
“Cramps.”
“Bloating.”
“Clotting.”
“Yeah, I hate it when that happens.”
He stared at them for a long moment, eyes wide and disbelieving. “Nice girls do not talk about those kinds of things!”
“But torture, that’s okay?”
“Double standards of the patriarchy,” Kris growled.
His grip tightened on the arms of the throne to the point where already pale knuckles whitened. “Get them out of here!”
* * *
Diana yanked at the chains securing her wrist cuffs to the wall and sighed. “I hate to say it, but the nameless nasty was right; this is already less amusing.”
“Are they really going to torture us?” Kris panted, hanging limp and exhausted. It was fairly clear they wouldn’t be able to kick, twist, or thrash their way to freedom.
“Probably.” If she only had the wand. It was times like this, chained to a wall by the nameless evil who planned to use a shopping mall to take over the world, that a few hours of unconsciousness followed by a little puking started to look good. “First they’ll leave us here to think about it for a while.”
“You know what? I’m thinking about it. And you know what I’m thinking? I’m thinking I don’t want to be tortured!”
“Who does?”
Kris found the strength for another yank at the chains. “So do something!”
“Like what?” Diana demanded, sagging back against the rough rock. “If I reach into the possibilities to free us, I break one of the big Rules. If I break a big Rule, that opens the way for them to break a big Rule and you really don’t want that to happen.”
“Hey! Read my lips, I really don’t want to be tortured either!”
“So you do something!”
“You’re the freakin’ wizard!” Kris slapped her chains against the wall for emphasis.
“It’s Keeper! Now stop yelling at me and let me think! Just because you couldn’t come up with something useful doesn’t mean I can’t!”
Their breathing sounded unnaturally loud in the silence that followed.
Finally, Diana sighed. “Sorry. It’s just…”
“Yeah. I know.”
She turned to see Kris frightened and battered but almost smiling at her.
“You’re supposed to be saving the world, not just hangin’ around here with me.”
“For what it’s worth, I’m glad you’re here. Not, here…here.” Diana winced as Kris’ eyebrows rose. “I mean, I’m glad I’m not alone.”
“For what it’s worth, I’d rather you were.”
Diana sighed again as Kris returned to yanking the chain. This was not going well on a number of levels; personal, professional, and probably a few other “p” words she’d come up with later. If they had a later.
They’d been chained in an alcove hacked out of the limestone walls not far from the throne room. Chained and abandoned; they hadn’t seen meat-minds or bugs since.
“How long do you think we’ve been here?”
Diana twisted her wrist until she could see her watch. “About six minutes.”
“Seems longer.”
“Yeah.”
The torches across from their alcove flickered although the air was still. In the distance, something screamed.
“So, about those Rules.”
When Diana turned, Kris’ expression announced I’m not fuckin’ scared as loudly as if she was shouting the words. The profanity was particularly obvious. “You want me to tell you about them now?”
Her upper lip curled. “You going somewhere?”
“Well, no.” Maybe defining a few metaphysical parameters was just the kind of distraction they needed. Maybe not, but it was all she had. Kris didn’t seem like the type
