“Yeah, Ev said she was coming over after you left. I guessed she wanted to see your outfit or something.”
She chuckled and then murmured under her breath. He thought it sounded like “or something,” but didn’t want to make the awkwardness last. “You nervous?”
“Totally.”
He laughed as her shoulders sagged. “I thought so. You’re never this quiet.”
“Excuse me. I beg to differ. Who was it who talked all the way through the movie the first time we went out?”
A bark of laughter burst from his chest. He had been so nervous he had kept whispering to her in between scenes. Never again would he take a girl to the movies as a first date. There was too much riding on it. “You’re right. I did all the talking, but I think you ate the whole tub of popcorn due to nerves.”
She folded her arms and turned her head away. He saw her shoulders shake as she tried to hold in her laughter. “I’m hypoglycemic. I needed to snack.”
He snorted. “That’s what you call snacking? Yeah, if an elephant considers two hundred pounds a snack...sure, you were snacking.”
She playfully slapped at his arm. “How would you know how much elephants eat?”
“You’d be surprised at the useless knowledge you acquire when you’re a parent.”
“You’re a good father.”
He quirked an eyebrow. “You say that like you’re surprised.”
“Not surprised as in I think you’d be horrible. Surprise as in, I would have never even pictured you having kids. You forget I knew you in high school. You seemed to like the limelight. Now you’re the town sheriff and a dad to two beautiful girls. I’m proud of you.”
He squeezed her hand. “That means more than you know.”
The rest of the ride passed with easy conversation. The easy flow of dialogue that had been present the first go around of dating returned with an added maturity. It wasn’t until he parked his SUV in front of the restaurant that he realized Charlene hadn’t entered his mind once. Maybe God was healing him.
Chapter Twenty-Four
The candlelight created a warm glow in the restaurant. It was nice to go out with Guy as an adult but bittersweet as well. They had been kids the first go around of dating. Now, he was wining and dining her with the sophistication that time brought.
And Michelle loved every moment.
Once she got over the initial nerves, their banter picked up like old times. They even talked about the girls. Michelle had always assumed she’d be a horrible mother. Not because her mother was—she had been the best mom a girl could ask for—but because Michelle knew she had been indulged far too often and liked being the center of attention. Once you became a parent, the selfishness needed to take a back seat. Not to mention, she had no one to show her how to be a good parent. There was no one to call and ask for wisdom.
Was she fit to be a mother?
For a brief moment in time, she had been one. She remembered the shock that coursed through her when the stick had two lines and the immediate pain upon the realization it wouldn’t make Guy come back. Left to make a decision by herself, Michelle had chosen what she thought to be the best recourse.
How wrong I was.
“Penny for your thoughts.”
“Not necessary.” She swallowed. Why couldn’t the memories stop? “I was just thinking about that summer.” She met his gaze, wondering what he would say.
Deep grooves appeared around his mouth. “I’m sorry about that, Michelle.” He reached for her hand across the table. “I felt guilty. I didn’t mean for it to happen and I panicked.”
“So you packed up and left without a word to anyone?” She could still remember the raw hurt.
“I know it sounds crazy, but yes.”
She slid her hands back into her lap. “Because you didn’t...you didn’t want me?”
“Ah, Chelle Belle.” He ran a hand down the back of his neck “I wanted you too much. That’s what got us in that predicament. I shouldn’t have done it the way we did. It should have been the right way. God’s way. I know that now, but not so much back then.”
Michelle stared at him, trying to make sense of what he was saying. She sighed. “You’re right. It wasn’t the right way, but at the time, I thought it would help lessen the ache of the death of my parents.” She blinked and peered up at the light hanging over the table. “I lost you too. Did you ever think of what that would do to me?”
Guy flinched. “I didn’t. Or rather, I refused to. I’m sorry. If I could do it over...”
She gave him a sad smile. “You’d do it again. How else would you have Rebekah and Rachel?”
He heaved a sigh. “I don’t know.”
The conversation wasn’t what she imagined talking about on a date, but she knew it needed to be done.
Tell him the rest.
No, it was water under the bridge...she prayed. “You know what...it’s okay. I forgive you. It’s in the past. Let’s just start fresh and see where it takes us.” Because she so desperately needed a do over.
A grin slowly lit his face. “Deal.”
Her cheeks ached with the height of her smile. We’re on a date! A real date. Not one happening in secret. Or out on their bench, but in public for the world to see. She stared into his beautiful obsidian eyes and her heart stuttered. Somehow, someway, she knew deep in her soul if it didn’t work out, it would hurt more than the first time.
Lord, please guard my heart. I don’t want to lose myself in him, but I do want to be with him.
It was a conundrum she didn’t want to figure out. At least not now. So she leaned forward and let the conversation carry her away.
THE MOON SHINED BRIGHTLY as they walked around the lake. Guy squeezed Michelle’s hand
