Michelle could barely hear her voice, the pulse in her ears rang loudly. She dragged in a deep breath hoping to slow it or silence it, but couldn’t tell if it worked. All she knew was when he realized what happened, what she did...it wasn’t going to end pretty.
His eyes watered. “What are you saying?” He stepped forward. “Did you...did you lose it?”
If only. She drew in a ragged breath and exhaled her shame. “I had an abortion.”
The sound of silence roared like a lion. A rush of heat flashed over her body as the life in his eyes snuffed out. A tear slipped down his cheek and she felt her heart break.
“You what?”
Michelle took a step back, tears sliding down her face. The deadly calm in his voice petrified her more than any shouting ever could. “I had an abortion,” she whispered.
She watched him. Waiting. For what, she didn’t know. She would offer any excuses, knowing she had none. Knowing she had no right to ask for his forgiveness. For anyone’s forgiveness.
“You...you what?” His hands balled into fists. “You couldn’t have said what I thought you said.”
Gone was the look of tenderness. In its place was cold, hearted fury.
“I have no excuses, I know. But at the time I thought I did. I didn’t have any family. I didn’t know how to contact you. I was all alone and scared and terrified that my life was going to be over. Before I knew it, I was at the clinic and they made it seem so easy—”
“You killed our child because it would be easy?”
“No, that’s not what I said.” He was twisting her words. “That’s not what I meant at all. I regretted it as soon as it began but it was too late.” The tears ran freely now, but it didn’t matter. His eyes looked like the blackest coal ever made.
He hated her.
She didn’t know how she knew, but she did. He would never forgive her. “Guy, I’m so sorry.”
He held a hand up. “Don’t even.” He turned away, his body taut. When he swung back around, she jumped at his look of disdain.
“I can’t even...I’m.” He heaved in a breath, his body shaking with the force of his emotions.
“Guy—
“Get out of my house!”
Michelle blinked at the ferocity staring back at her. Her ears rang from his yell. Her body froze from the shock of it. Never had he talked to her in such a manner. What was worse...she deserved it.
Nodding mutely, Michelle gave him wide berth and headed for the door. She looked back but he remained frozen, staring at the spot she had vacated. Another apology rose up, the words hanging in suspension on the tip of her tongue, but instead her teeth clamped down forcibly, and a metallic taste filled her mouth.
She took him in one last time and left the room.
GUY SLAMMED THE DOOR to his SUV shut. He didn’t know where he was going but he had to leave the house. His mother didn’t even question him when he asked her to watch the girls, but her eyes had been filled with worry.
Eventually he’d have to explain his abrupt manner, but he was too stymied to think of that right now.
She had an abortion.
The girl he had pledged his heart to had killed an innocent. A child’s life had never had the chance to start. To grow into their destiny. With one decision, she had altered the course of history.
He swallowed, the bitterness tasting foul in his mouth. How could she do it? How could she ever try and justify her actions?
She had been pregnant.
The thought stung. He couldn’t tell if it carried more weight than the other. It felt like he had been slammed into a brick wall and then repeatedly hit with a sledge hammer. He pinched his arm hoping to feel nothing. Praying it was a horrible nightmare, but the slight sting told the truth.
He was wide awake and his life was in shambles.
Time passed as he drove around Freedom Lake. The amount of time that elapsed didn’t penetrate his pain-induced haze. It wasn’t until he found himself looking at the front entrance of Freedom Lake Tabernacle that a moment of clarity made it through. He recalled the Bishop’s invitation to talk. Would he be here? Could he even offer any solace?
He stared at the doors, indecision warring inside of him. Tangled up with the grief, rage, and heartache. She had ripped his heart out with one declaration. One phrase he had never ever imagined. He hadn’t been prepared, but did it matter? Was anyone ever prepared to hear those words?
And from someone they cared about?
His feet moved forward, although they felt like lead. The mahogany door groaned at his prodding and the sound echoed in the foyer. He heard a jangle of keys and then footsteps.
“Brother Pierre,” Bishop declared. The smile on his face quickly disappeared. “Come this way, brother. We can sit in my office.”
Guy followed numbly. Maybe the numbness was a good thing. Anything was better than the stabbing pain he felt at Michelle’s confession. He rubbed his chest, the ache back with the change of his thoughts.
The bishop sat in a chair and motioned to the one beside him. His desk sat off in the corner, a study of strength. He vaguely noticed the sitting area he was in. It was complete with a sofa and coffee table.
“What brings you by, Brother Pierre?”
He looked up, staring at the Bishop, trying to put his mass of emotions into words.
“Take your time.”
“I found out today that my girlfriend had an abortion.”
“When did she have it?”
“What?” he looked up in confusion. He shook his head. “I’m sorry, Bishop. I’m still reeling from the news. She had an abortion the summer after we graduated from high school.”
“I see. And you found out today?”
“Yes.” He cleared his throat. “We recently started dating again. And today...out of the blue...she dropped the news on me. I...I just
