“I agree.” Her soft smile made his chest hurt.
“Will you let me take you home? Please?”
“Yes.”
He let out a breath. “Thank you.” And the song ended.
“Wow. Perfect timing.”
“I didn’t plan it that way.” Wrapping an arm around her shoulders, he guided her back to the booth where she’d tucked her purse under the seat.
“But you requested the song for our dance. Why?”
“It says some things about my feelings that I don’t know how to say. Things that have nothing to do with sex.”
“Oh, I think they have a little something to do with sex.”
“All right.” While she reached under the seat for her purse, he turned, located Matt and gave him a wave to signal they were leaving. “Maybe twenty percent is about sex.”
She looped her purse strap over her shoulder. “How much of this evening did you plan?”
“Not much.” Putting his hand at her back, he started toward the door. “I just knew I wanted to drive you home.” The Brotherhood had taken it from there. “And not so we could make love, either. That was never my intention.”
“Never your intention?”
He sighed. “I don’t think I’ve realized how exacting you are.” He held the door and ushered her through.
“I’m extremely exacting. It’s one of the reasons my business got off the ground and has remained profitable.”
“Then I’ll be more specific, starting with last night. I slept with my phone under my pillow hoping you’d call and ask me to come over.”
“I had no intention of doing that.”
“I realized that eventually. Hey, it’s chilly out here. Let’s get you into the truck.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’ll be more fine in the truck.” He hurried her across the sidewalk, opened the passenger door and handed her in.
After he’d closed the door and come around to climb behind the wheel, he glanced at her. “Since you didn’t call me during the night, I had to figure out when I’d see you next.” He fastened his seatbelt and started the engine. “In the beginning, I imagined a group setting that would eventually become one-on-one.”
“And we’d have sex tonight?”
“Yes, but then sometime during the morning, I—do I have to pinpoint the time?”
“No.” Sounded like she was trying not to laugh.
“Okay. This morning I realized we’re not ready to have sex.”
“Sounds like you anticipate having it at some point, though.”
“I wouldn’t say I anticipate it. I’m… hopeful.”
“Then you don’t agree that it would be a mistake?”
“No.”
“Because you’re planning to move to Seattle?”
“Yes.”
She groaned. “CJ.”
“But let’s put that aside for now.”
“I don’t think I can when I know that’s what you’re working toward. Do you think making love again will convince me I can’t live without you?”
“It’s a possibility. My memory of that night is that we couldn’t get enough of each other.” Reminding her was part of his strategy, but it was a double-edged sword. His jeans pinched.
“Which is exactly why we shouldn’t do it again. We’ll both be better off if we can tamp down our urges.”
“That’s your opinion and you’re entitled to it.”
“Thanks.” She folded her arms over her chest. Not a happy camper.
Well, neither was he. “Let me ask you something. When you called Friday and I responded with I want to see you, you seemed relieved and happy that we’d be getting together. Why was that?”
Silence.
“Izzy?”
“I was upset.”
“Me, too.”
“I was nervous about how you’d react. You might have been angry. Or disbelieving. You could have insisted I get another test to be sure.”
“None of that crossed my mind. I was too busy scrambling for the right thing to say. From your reaction, it seemed like that’s what you wanted to hear.”
More silence. Then she took a shaky breath. “I did want to see you. I wanted you to hold me and tell me it would be okay, that we’d work this out.” Her voice grew quiet. “I was only thinking of myself.”
His chest tightened. Reaching over, he squeezed her shoulder. “We all do it. Nothing wrong with that.”
“Maybe not, but until this moment, I didn’t realize I’m responsible for this mess we’re in. I shouldn’t have come.”
“What?”
“Over the weekend I started thinking of you for a change and I knew you’d want to make love this week. Shoot, I did, too! But—”
“Hang on.” He slowed the truck as he entered the road leading to her cabin. “We’re almost there. This is important. I don’t want to be driving while we talk about it.”
She took a shaky breath. “Okay.”
“One thing you need to understand, though. If you hadn’t chosen to come here, I would have been on a plane to Seattle. I was going to see you, Iz, come hell or high water.”
Chapter Twelve
CJ’s declaration helped, but not much. Filled with self-recrimination, Isabel waited until he’d parked in front of her cabin and shut off the motor.
Then she unbuckled her seatbelt and turned to him. “Do you want to talk here or on the porch?”
He smiled. “Here is safer. The less time I spend on your porch the better.” He swept a hand toward her. “You have the floor.”
Such a good guy. Such a thorny problem. She cleared her throat. “When I realized sex would likely be part of my stay, I asked my doctor about whether it was a problem.”
“So you said.”
“She asked whether I was going to resume relations with the baby’s father. She was delighted when I said yes. Clearly she liked the prospect of the relationship continuing. I finally saw that a week of lovemaking would be the start of an impossible affair.”
His eyes glittered in the light from the porch. “Not if I move.”
“I never expected you to suggest that. Which only shows how little I know you.”
“If it makes you feel any better, I surprised myself with that decision, but I’m—”
“CJ, don’t do it. I can’t stop you, but please give up the idea. It’s not the answer. If you
