‘I don’t need to build my confidence. I’m happy as I am. Besides, you must understand now how I feel about going out.’
Luke suddenly realised how insensitive he was being in trying to encourage her to venture outside.
‘Yes, of course,’ he said. ‘I’m sorry, Orla. I didn’t mean to upset you.’
She gave him a tight smile. ‘Besides, it’s not good for me to go outside. My mother told me that.’
Luke frowned, shocked by her words. ‘She said that?’
‘It’s not good for me to be out in public. She said that, even if people aren’t dangerous, they’ll always be staring at me and that isn’t good for me. She said . . .’
‘What did she say?’ Luke encouraged after Orla had stopped.
‘She said that I would be putting myself at risk every time I left my home.’
Luke swore under his breath. ‘She really told you that?’
‘Yes. And she was right too. She knows me better than anyone and she was there with me every day in the hospital, and she knew that I’d be happier on my own.’
Luke shook his head. ‘Well, I don’t believe that.’
Orla glared at him. ‘Why not? Why do you find it so hard to believe that I’m happy?’
‘Because people need people. We’re not made to isolate ourselves. Even after what happened to you. Think about it – think of your presence on Galleria and how much you enjoy that connection with other people.’
‘I enjoy that because it’s on my terms. It’s safe.’
‘I don’t know about that,’ Luke said. ‘A lot of crazy things go on online.’
‘I know and, if they do, I simply delete it or block the crazy people.’
‘But don’t you think it’s time to venture out again? I mean, how long have you locked yourself away like this for, Orla? It’s been a couple of years, hasn’t it? And don’t forget that Helen didn’t want you to isolate yourself like this either.’
Orla shifted her feet in the sand. ‘Luke—’
‘I know – I shouldn’t interfere.’
‘No,’ she said, her tone managing to be both calm and frustrated all at once, ‘you really shouldn’t.’
She whistled for One Ear and he trotted over to her, his big paws foamy with the surf he’d been paddling in.
‘He’s a great dog,’ Luke said, thinking it best to change the subject before she decided it might be better to throw him out again.
‘He’s the dog version of me, isn’t he, with just the one ear?’
Luke gave a nervous sort of laugh at Orla’s humour.
‘We had that connection, you see. We’re the perfect pair – quite literally – him with no right ear and me with no left. We balance one another out.’ She stood up, brushing the sand from her legs. ‘He’s all I need.’ She gave Luke a resolute look before replacing her sunglasses and he read her message loud and clear.
Later that evening, as the blue summer sky was slowly fading into a soft pink, Orla ventured out into the garden. She liked this quiet time at dusk, as the birds found their way to bed and the first stars of the night made their presence known in the endless sky above the castle.
As One Ear poked around the flower beds, Orla walked around the garden. She hadn’t seen Luke since their meeting on the beach that morning. She thought he was probably keeping a diplomatic distance between them. She’d heard the occasional bang of his workman’s tools and had given him some privacy at lunchtime, grabbing a quick sandwich for herself and moving through to the china room. He hadn’t tried to find her and she was glad of that because she’d needed some space and time to think about what he’d said. What he kept saying to her.
Sitting down on a wooden bench, she looked up at the great stone walls of the castle. They were fading into shadow now, having been lit up in the most glorious pink light a few minutes before. Wasn’t it every little girl’s dream to live in a castle? And a pink castle at that! Orla smiled at the thought, and then she remembered Luke’s words to her: ‘People need people. We’re not made to isolate ourselves.’ Orla knew that, and she knew that Helen had also wanted to reach out and help her, but she still thought it very unfair of Luke to keep bringing it up after what had happened to her. It wasn’t as if she’d always been this way. In London, she’d had lots of friends and she’d gone out to dinners, to the theatre and to parties. She’d loved her life, but everything had changed with the attack. Not only had it taken away the face she’d known, but it had taken away her inner peace – that sense of self – and she’d felt herself withdrawing from the world, shutting out her friends and removing herself from her old routine.
Orla had done her best not to think about the life she’d lost. Instead, she’d focused on the new life she’d created for herself within the safe walls of the castle – a simple life of collecting beautiful broken things and photographing them. It might sound odd to some people, but it had given her a focus. A safe focus. And it made her happy, it really did. It might not seem fulfilling, but it was to Orla, so why should Luke think that it wasn’t enough? Why was it so important to him that she leave the castle? It was as if he’d become obsessed with the idea, and a part of her couldn’t help thinking that he was burying his own grief for Helen by focusing so fully on her.
She whistled for One Ear and he came trotting towards her.
‘What do you think I should do? Throw him out again?’ One Ear whined as if in understanding. ‘No, I won’t do that. You like him, don’t you?
