‘What do I think?’
‘Yes.’
Bill stared out across the garden as he thought about the young man he’d first seen collapsed on the beach. The same young man who’d brought Orla out into the community, but who was obviously fighting his own battle.
‘Our neighbour lost his wife a few years ago,’ Bill began. ‘They were both in their late eighties. Spent their entire lives together. He took it bad. We used to hear him crying through the walls.’ Bill shook his head at the memory. ‘Margy couldn’t bear it. Used to go round and cook for him, listen to him, and hold him as he cried. But time passes, doesn’t it? The pain becomes a little easier to bear.’
‘You think we should do nothing?’
‘I didn’t say that. But I think we have to let him process all this the way he needs to. We can be there for him, but we can’t do his mourning for him.’
‘I know.’
‘Just as you had to heal yourself your way,’ Bill said. ‘The way I see it, there’s no right or wrong way. There are as many different ways to go through an experience as there are people in the world, and Luke will do it his way.’
‘Yes, you’re right.’
They sat in silence together, and it felt so natural. They were becoming friends, he thought, sharing stories and asking for help. That was good. That was as it should be.
‘Well, I’d better let you get on,’ Orla said at last, standing up and adjusting her hat.
Bill stood up too. ‘I’m always here, you know, if you need anything. Always have been.’
She smiled. ‘I know. It just took me a while to realise, didn’t it?’
Orla returned inside, her sun-warmed limbs cooling in an instant within the ancient walls of the castle. She took off her hat and went in search of a jumper, pulling it on and suddenly realising that she’d gone outside without sunglasses. When she’d removed them in front of everybody at the meeting the night before, it had been one of the most nerve-wracking moments of her life. How she’d found the courage, she’d never know, but part of it came from having Luke beside her. He believed in her and now she wanted to reach out to him in the same way he’d reached out to her.
Only she had to find him first.
Luckily, it didn’t take her long. He was working on a section of wall in a small chamber off the upper hall, his sheets and tools laid neatly around him.
‘Hey – how are you getting on?’ Orla asked as she entered the room with care.
‘Good, I think.’ Luke stood back from the wall and removed the goggles he’d been wearing. ‘Don’t touch anything. It’s all setting.’
‘It looks great.’
‘Well, it’s better than it was. The lime plastering will allow everything to breathe.’
Orla gave a little laugh. ‘Yes, it’s good to breathe, isn’t it? I think this castle’s been holding its breath almost as long as I have.’
Luke smiled. ‘But you’re both breathing now.’
‘Yes.’ She watched him as he tinkered around, building up the courage to say what she had come here to say.
She took a deep breath. ‘Luke, you know, you’ve helped me so much.’
He turned back to her. ‘You’re doing a lot of the work yourself. Don’t forget that.’
‘I wouldn’t have, though, if you hadn’t come here.’
Luke smiled and then turned back to his work.
‘I’d like to help you, Luke.’
He looked back at her and frowned. ‘What do you mean? With the plastering?’
‘No, not the plastering. I want to help – if you ever want to talk about anything. About Helen. I’m here and I’m happy to listen.’
He looked at her blankly, as if genuinely confused about what she might mean. It was the strangest sensation to see him like that because he was usually so warm and open, but she could see that her words had closed something up in him and that she wasn’t going to get through to him.
‘I’m fine,’ he said in a dreadfully distant monotone.
‘Are you?’
He picked up one of his tools. Orla had no idea what it was, but his message was clear – he didn’t want to talk to her.
‘Luke?’
‘I’m fine,’ he told her again, making her flinch.
‘Okay,’ she said, feeling deflated and defeated as she left the chamber.
Chapter 14
There was a genuine uneasiness between Luke and Orla over the next few days, with both of them concentrating on their respective work, conveniently at opposite ends of the castle. Orla was quite sure Luke had arranged things that way, working in parts of the castle where he was least likely to run into her.
Orla did her best not to be upset, but it was hard. She bought more damaged crockery that week than she had in a long time. Box after box was delivered to the castle and great mountains of bubble wrap and tissue paper soon accumulated. Orla tried not to think about it, although she felt horribly guilty about the waste. She’d have to find a way to recycle it all at some point. There were stacks of boxes and wrapping from her years of collecting. That was one of the benefits of living in a castle, she thought – there was plenty of room for rubbish.
For now, though, she was focused on her art. It was a while since she’d posted to Galleria and she’d missed the friendly community, but it felt funny going back there now, having been out in the real world. She allowed herself a little time to acclimatise, scrolling through her favourite accounts, liking photos and leaving comments. Then she got down to business, looking through her new acquisitions for the piece to showcase to the world. She’d bought a job lot of blue and white china and she looked through the pieces now. Some of it wasn’t very old at all and so wasn’t of interest to Orla, but there was a handful of pieces that were very pretty
