The kitchen is nice, comfortable and sunny.
I walk over to the small window that sits against the far wall before I shrug and decide to check out the living room. Maybe I can start flipping some channels and do my best to fall asleep before Tanner comes back out, I think as I stifle a yawn with my fist.
When I enter the room though, I see that my plan is quickly foiled due to a busted television screen. I walk over to it and lean down to stare at it curiously, wondering if it could have possibly just shorted out when Tanner speaks up.
“What are you doing?” he asks curiously.
I turn around, positive that the look on my face telling him that he scared the shit out of me and place a hand to my chest to steady my racing heart. “Sorry, I saw this was broken and was curious about what happened to it is all,” I explain with a nervous giggle.
“You’re always in work mode, huh?” he teases with a grin.
I shrug and nod, “Well, if it was something electrical that caused it to shatter like that, I could have given you some tips about the kind of extensions you use.”
“It wasn’t electrical. I lost my temper,” he explains, the grin melting into a smile. “It happens sometimes.”
I return his smile as I cross my arms loosely over my chest, “Did you get what you needed?”
Tanner nods as he takes a step into the room. He’s concealing something behind his back and while I don’t think he’s being anything other than playful right now, instinct tells me to be on alert.
“Alright, well …” I let my voice trail off and he chuckles as he holds a hand out toward me. I narrow my eyes suspiciously at him, but watching the corners of his eyes crinkle, the dimples forming irresistible caverns in his cheeks, makes feel instantly at ease.
And that was my mistake.
Chapter 20
When things burn white hot with rage, it casts a halo on everything around it. It feels almost holy in a way to see everything with an aura of the same color, rather than the different ones that follow us throughout our lives.
Makena takes my hand.
Her skin is as soft as I remember it from the first time I fixed a bandage to her scraped knee. It’s as flawless as it was when we laid in her bed and I kissed each and every freckle hidden on her body.
And the entire time, she never knew it was me.
She didn’t see me, but she will now.
“These are for you,” I tell her softly as I bring my arm around and present her with a small bouquet of blue-heart lilies. She recoils almost instantly but I’m much faster than she is and grip her firmly by her wrist.
“It broke my heart the first time I saw you after so long. You met my eyes, smiled, and kept walking like I was any stranger on the street. Why did you do that?” I ask her softly, trying to control the fire that’s starting to burn inside of me.
“What? Tanner, let me go,” she says as she begins to struggle against my grip.
“That’s not the name you knew me by, Makena. Tanner is my middle name,” I tell her in the same soft, stoic tone that the real me has been cursed with since she moved away during our childhood. “I knew it would be easy to find you, but I didn’t know how hard it would be to make you notice me. When Dad suggested that I needed a date for that fucking soiree, I asked him if he thought you might be interested in going with me. The only reason I went was that you would see me, but you still didn’t. How can you be so blind?”
I use my strength to push her away and watch her stumble, landing in a heap on the floor.
“Listen,” she begins in a terrified voice, “You have me mistaken with someone else and—”
“Still? Even though I’m standing right fucking here with your favorite flowers, how can you still not see me?” I shout in frustration.
“Tanner—”
“That’s not my fucking name!” I cut her off angrily. “It’s not the name you knew me by, Makena. Remember? You have to remember,” I plead with her as I drop to my knees and move closer to her. She attempts to skitter away from me, so I grab her by her ankles and pull her toward me until her body is beneath mine.
Just like it was last night.
“When we were children, I found you crying on the playground of our middle school. You told me that a group of girls called you ugly and threw you down into the dirt. Your knee was bleeding, and I kissed your scrapes, then bandaged them up and you said that you felt better because of it. We spent the rest of the day on the swings at the park near the school grounds and I walked you home,” I ramble desperately.
Between her tears and struggle to get away from me, I can see something click inside of her mind and she relaxes ever so slightly.
“Xander?” she asks quietly.
I drop my head in relief.
She does see me after all.
“Yes,” I confirm gently as I sit her up and look into her eyes. “Dominic is my father, but you never met any of my family because you moved away the morning you promised me that you would come for dinner.”
Her mind is racing, I can see it in her eyes, but I don’t trust that she won’t try to run away if I ease up my grip, so I don’t.
“Alexander Tanner Griffith. That’s my full name, Makena. My family calls me Tanner and I’ve always hated it since you called me Xander. You couldn’t say Alexander, remember?” I ask with a short laugh as a tear rolls down my face.
She closes her eyes for
