Minutes passed with his arms wrapped tight around me. I floated in stunned euphoria, unable to form sensible words to fill the silence. The realisation that I didn’t need to, that this wasn’t another artificial encounter where I needed to deny my true self, filled me with an alien emotion that suspiciously resembled...contentment.
For however long this lasted, Jensen was my willing sub and I was his mistress. I could do with him as I pleased. If that included silence, it was my right.
Again, the thought shook me to my core. Enough to make me avert my gaze when he eventually eased up to look down at me. When there was enough space between us, he glanced down. ‘May I?’ he asked gruffly.
I nodded.
He eased out of me, rose and went into the kitchen. The supply closet door opened and a minute later he was back at my side, a towel in his hand. He cleaned me up, then himself, then tossed the towel away and resumed his position next to me.
It took a few minutes to wrestle my emotions under control. Striving to lighten the mood, I cast a deliberate gaze around the cabin. ‘No TV. I’m assuming no Internet either?’
‘In good weather my satellite phone’s reliable enough to keep me connected but in this weather it’s probably non-existent.’
It was a little disconcerting to be so cut off. Well, I still had my satellite phone for however long the battery lasted, but the thought that I wasn’t in touching distance of a ringing phone felt...strange.
Admittedly, in a way that wasn’t...awful. The lack of urgency to be in the centre of everything I’d built was freeing. Enough to trigger a smile. ‘I’m assuming no board games either?’
He shook his head, his eyes twinkling. ‘I wasn’t exactly planning on entertaining when I came out here.’
I wanted to ask him why he’d come out here when, like mine, his professional life was booked solid for months. But the emotional wind tunnel I’d gone through a few minutes ago made me shy away from the personal. ‘So what do you actually do here to occupy yourself?’
He smiled, an open, carefree smile that melted my insides as he caught a strand of my hair and toyed with it. ‘We didn’t get around to the full tour. My darkroom doubles up as office and studio. Most times I bring my work with me. When I’m not working, I hike the woods or take the dogs out for a run.’
Great, he was one of those healthily outdoorsy types.
He caught my expression and grinned. ‘Yep, I’m one of those. I find it difficult to sit still for long.’ His fingers left my hair, drifted over my shoulder and down my arm. ‘Unless I have suitable distraction.’
I nodded, understanding him perfectly. After all, I was one of those. But, sadly, my restlessness had nothing to do with the need to be at one with nature and everything to do with running away from the demons haunting me.
‘Why adventure photography?’ I asked, despite my intention to steer clear of anything personal. But this wasn’t personal. We were professionals exchanging professional courtesies. He was working on a project close to my heart and I had every right to know the man behind the camera.
Yeah, keep telling yourself that.
‘My stepfather bought me a camera for my seventeenth birthday, a peace offering for sending me off to summer camp when I wanted to spend the holidays at home. I had every intention of hating it, along with everything and everyone at the camp,’ he said with a grin.
‘But you didn’t?’
He shook his head. ‘I fell in love with it. I photographed everything I could. When I returned and had the pictures developed, I realised I didn’t suck at it, so I stuck with it.’
‘And don’t tell me, since you’d suddenly gone crazy about the outdoors you decided to throw a few risks in there?’
‘It was easier to convince my mother that the purpose behind climbing mountains to get one unique picture out of thousands was worth it rather than climbing just for the hell of it. Although that was a seductive draw too.’
‘And she was okay with that?’
His face tightened. ‘She wasn’t. Not for a long time.’
‘Why not?’
His gaze shifted away from mine, reluctance in the fingers that absently caressed my wrist. Clearly his relationship with his mother wasn’t smooth sailing. ‘She found it difficult to let go, generally. At least she did before my stepfather.’
There was much more to that story and I probably should’ve changed the subject then. Hell, hadn’t I earned a reputation for interfering where I shouldn’t, pushing when I needed to step back? ‘What about your father?’
He froze, his fingers sliding away from my skin. ‘He’s no longer in the picture,’ he said tightly, his jaw clenching as his gaze swung to rest on the fire.
Was he dead? Had he abandoned Jensen as my parents had abandoned me? Questions teemed in my head, but I reluctantly accepted that he’d given me more than I intended to give him.
Minutes passed. When he looked back his expression was cordial enough to display no hard feelings but wary enough to warn me my probing questions were no longer welcome. The brief flare of disappointment and anxiety threw me. I throttled them down as he spoke.
‘I’d very much like to feed you, min elskerinde.’
Hunger pangs immediately registered in my stomach, deciding our next activity. Summoning a smile, I nodded. ‘I could eat.’
His smile returned. ‘Do you have any preferences food wise?’
I shrugged. ‘I don’t mind, as long as it’s hot and tasty.’
His gaze slid down my body and I could tell he was thinking about something entirely different from food. Nevertheless, he answered, ‘I can rise to that challenge.’
He caught my hand in his, trailed kisses on my knuckles before rising. ‘Stay here. I’ll be about
