I sucked in a sharp breath, arousal lighting through me as he slowly tasted my skin.
‘Staying in the cabin without you was fucking hell,’ he confessed roughly. ‘For the first time since I built it, I couldn’t wait to leave. Return to London.’
Something deep, profound, moved through me. ‘Jensen,’ I attempted again, my heart hammering hard.
‘I’ll stop calling you min elskerinde if that’s what you truly want. After today, you don’t need to hear it again, anyway, right?’
I didn’t pull away. I loved what he was doing so much more than the bleakness that awaited me once I ended this.
He trailed erotic kisses down my arm, drawing closer with every caress.
Something cracked open inside me, letting a flood of hope and desperate craving rush in.
‘Not going to answer?’ he mocked as he bit the sensitive skin. ‘I’m afraid I’ll need an answer to my next question, though.’
I cleared my throat, forced my voice to work. ‘What question?’
Glacier-coloured eyes met mine, blazing lust and censure fighting for supremacy. ‘Despite the bullshit we’re rolling in, I want you. Fucking badly. So may I have you one last time, min elskerinde?’
I should’ve said no, of course. Should have snatched my arm away, shown him the door, tossed whatever temptation he was dangling out with him. But of course, I didn’t. Because this was Jensen. Gorgeous. Wickedly talented. Pure sex on two legs. As close to a perfect sub as my jaded heart and broken spirit could appreciate.
So I cupped his jaw, caressed my fingers over his nape before sliding them into his hair.
My fist tightened around a handful of glorious hair.
He sucked in a sharp breath, his eyes squeezing shut as a hot shudder shook his towering frame. His hands stayed at his sides, his breath panting as he waited for my next move.
‘Maybe I won’t let you have me. Maybe I’m just going to make you watch me come.’
Harsh, razor-sharp need twisted his features. ‘If—’
‘You’re not allowed to say if that’s what you wish. You’re so big on being real, then tell me what you truly feel. Not what you think I want to hear.’
His Adam’s apple bobbed. ‘Fine. I want to be the one to make you come, min elskerinde.’
‘Why?’
Stark need darkened his eyes, transformed his beautiful face into a mask of pure masculine arousal. ‘Because you can’t hide from me then.’
Another rivet yanked free, a slither of hope flaring high before despair doused the flame. ‘Did you stop to think that maybe I’m protecting you, Jensen?’
His nostrils flared. ‘What from?’
‘From me!’ I released him, started to step back.
He yanked me close. ‘Why the hell would I need protection from you?’
‘Because I’m not enough! You think you want the whole, sordid truth? I haven’t sustained a single relationship in my life. Not a single one. Everything I touch turns to fucking dust. I may be successful in business but I’m a mess in private.’ The unfettered confession snagged several emotions inside me, twisting up into a knot of need so acute I feared the power of it. ‘You think I’m hiding? Maybe I am. But I’m hiding for a reason. You judged your mother for living in denial. Did you stop to think she may have been protecting you? That she didn’t want you to witness every single sorry detail of her trying to hold it together?’
His face tightened into a taut, angry mask, his skin losing a trace of colour. ‘We’re not talking about me. Or my mother—’
‘Why not? Because you feel exposed when we do? Maybe even a little unsure about that high horse you’re perched on?’
Anger slowly dissipated, leaving behind a poleaxed look I’d never seen before. He dragged a hand over his mouth and jaw, and his gaze shifted from mine as he processed. Frowned as he turned his back on me and strode a few paces away. A different sort of tension rode him as the minutes ticked by in silence.
‘Could you have got her wrong, Jensen?’ I pressed softly.
He whirled back, traces of alarm and uncertainty in his eyes. ‘Whether I have or not, that’s for me to deal with,’ he gritted out. ‘Right now, we’re talking about you, Graciela—’
‘No. I don’t want to reason this out. I’ve lived with this for years, Jensen. The promise of my mother’s love and her abandonment wrecked me for any relationship. I’ve tried. Believe me, I’ve tried everything. Nothing works.’
And the end result had turned me inside out, raw with anguish and guilt because not only had I brought pain on myself, I’d dragged my brothers into that dark hellhole. I’d ended up ruining not just my childhood, but theirs.
Silence stretched, tight and fraught. ‘Fine. So what now?’ Jensen demanded, eyes narrowed.
I shrugged, surprised my shoulders could move beneath the heaviness weighing me down. ‘I’m more than done with this crazy emotional roller coaster you seem determined to make me ride. So we can end this right now. Or we can end this an hour from now on condition the hour is spent the way we intended ten minutes ago.’
I held my breath, praying he wouldn’t take the first option. Praying for a precious sixty minutes more with him before I had to let him go.
He stepped forward, paused for an infinitesimal second, then lifted his hand to my cheek with a wry smile. ‘I’m not idiotic enough to walk away given those options. But know this. We might be fucking instead of talking, but we’ll still be having a conversation, min elskerinde,’ he said with quiet confidence that angered me, even as my heart wept at the gift of those two words.
A gift I didn’t deserve, but was too selfish, too greedy to turn away. ‘I hope you’re not awfully disappointed if that conversation is one-sided,’ I sniped, distressed by the dominion he seemed to have over my emotions. ‘Undress,’ I ordered, kicking my shoes off before stepping out of my own clothes.
Naked, I pulled out one
