I shook my head, impatient with his deviation.
‘It’s because my father ruined every Christmas for us, without fail, for as long as I could remember. He’d pick a fight over the smallest thing, use it as an excuse to ruin the whole fucking day. One time, my mother stood up to him, and he destroyed all the presents. Smashed everything to pieces with a fucking baseball bat.’
I flinched, my heart going out to him despite my own despair.
‘When she met Dag, they decided to revert to Danish tradition, head off the day before bad memories ruined it.’
‘Well, I guess it was a good way to counter what your father did, but by not celebrating both days, wasn’t he winning?’
‘Don’t get me wrong, we still celebrate Christmas Day, but over the years, the Danish celebration has become a bigger deal.’
‘A bigger deal you wanted to throw me in at the deep end of, to see whether I sank or swam?’
His face hardened. ‘You really think I would do that to you? Deliberately sabotage your happiness?’ His voice was rough. Ashen.
‘I don’t know. Tell me why you did it.’
‘Because I wanted you to be happy!’ he all but bellowed.
‘Why? Why does this mean so much to you?’
He exhaled harshly. ‘Do you remember what my mother said when she opened the door?’
I frowned. Shrugged. ‘Something about bringing a guest?’
‘No, the bit about having to beg and plead for me to visit.’
‘Yeah. So?’
‘So I avoid going home as much as I can. Excuses were easy to find and I wasn’t ashamed to use them.’
‘Sorry, you’ve lost me.’
‘I walked you to your door last week, then drove straight to the airport. Because something you said pulled the rug from under me. Made me see what a selfish bastard I’d been to my mother.’
My heart kicked. ‘Something... I... What did I say?’
‘That she was trying to protect me by keeping the painful details of what my father was doing to her from me. I’d secretly blamed her for years for staying, failed to see her choices were limited. It’s easy to stand back and judge. And I’d judged her harshly until you forced me to face the truth. Taking you home with me tonight... I wanted you to see what you’d done for me. Show my gratitude. Instead, I fucked it up.’
The different, enlightening slant to the whole evening shook my world. He’d invited me here to witness something beautiful. Something wonderful I’d helped create.
The haggard sob caught me by surprise. Jensen too, from his stunned expression. Then he cursed. ‘What the fuck did your mother do to you?’
Instantly, a vice tightened around my heart. ‘Jensen...no,’ I warned.
‘No, I really want to know. What did her letter say?’
‘It’s none of your business,’ I bit out through lips gone numb with pain.
‘Oh, but I think it is. Because here you are, on the verge of throwing away something precious because you can’t or won’t move from the past.’
More icy shivers drenched me. ‘God, you’re really in full flow tonight, aren’t you?’
He dragged desperate fingers through his hair, his eyes spearing into me. ‘I have to. Because I want you, Graciela, min elskerinde.’
My heart shook, as it did every time he called me that. ‘You will not call me that again,’ I said, my voice firm enough to make him freeze.
For a moment, stark bleakness darkened his eyes. ‘You have my word. I won’t address you like that again until you ask me to. But I meant it when I said I want to know what she said to you.’
With compulsion I couldn’t stop, my gaze darted to the handbag I’d dropped on the sofa when we arrived.
His gaze followed mine, enlightenment and shock sharpening his eyes. ‘Jesus, you carry it with you?’
I glared at him. ‘So what if I do? What’s it to you?’
His lips flattened as he strode across the room.
‘Don’t you dare—!’
He grabbed the bag and held it out to me. ‘Show me,’ he growled.
‘No.’
Tense seconds ticked by, then he dropped the bag on the coffee table. ‘Fine, if you won’t show me, then get rid of it.’
Anguished ravaged my insides. ‘I beg your pardon?’
‘You heard me. I’m not sure how long you’ve been carrying that toxic thing around with you, but you need to get rid of it, Graciela.’
‘I don’t know where the hell you get off—’
‘I get off where I fucking love you so much it kills me that you won’t give yourself a chance to be happy!’
My heart dropped to my toes, my brain ceasing to function. ‘You...what?’
He reached out, seizing my wrists and dragging me close until we shared the same air. ‘I love you. I’ve loved you since the second day at the cabin when you ordered me to tell you a story.’
I shook my head wildly. ‘I... You can’t.’
‘Is that an order? Because if it is, I’m afraid I’m going to have to disappoint you by declining.’
My mouth dried so hard I feared I’d never form words again. So instead, my soul unfurled, eager to absorb the promise of his words.
‘I can’t, I’m no good for you.’
His fingers caressed my jaw. ‘Oh, but you are, min elskede,’ he insisted thickly. ‘You’re everything I will ever want in this lifetime and the next. And before you give me some excuse about not knowing you, or you not being right for me, remember that I’m a risk taker who’s been diving headlong into dangerous situations since I could get away with doing it. Whatever you think you’re hiding underneath this strong, beautiful heart that will scare me away, don’t bother. I feel like I’ve been preparing all my life for this chance to win you.’
A rough, shocked laugh took me by surprise. ‘So I’m just a challenge to you? While you tell me you love me?’
He grimaced, then shrugged. ‘Shock therapy was part of my game plan in bringing you here.’
His
