I felt like I had to share something with him too. I wanted him to know how much I valued his honesty. This night and the things we were saying to each other felt important, and I wanted to be as open with him as he’d been with me. “My ex broke up with me by letting me know he was going home to marry the girlfriend he’d been with the whole time we were together. I guess we both fell for people that didn’t deserve us.”
He seemed horrified on my behalf and tried to speak a couple of times, but in the end he just lifted his glass to clink it to my beer bottle. “To our battered hearts.”
“To our stronger and wiser hearts,” I replied.
As we smiled at each other, we heard the band getting ready to start playing. There was a DJ on stage mixing some music to get the crowd warmed up, and some of the musicians were fiddling with their instruments. After a moment, a second woman climbed on stage, and I decided she had to be the lead singer. She was wearing a bona fide rock star outfit, complete with brown leather pants, and with her makeup and hair, she could have stepped off the cover of Rolling Stone. When she grabbed the microphone, everyone in the room cheered.
I looked at Elias, impressed. “Wow, she’s popular.”
He shook his head in amusement. “You don’t recognize her?”
I took a closer look as she scanned the crowd and waved back at some of the people in the audience. She spotted Elias and gave him a wink and smile. Then it finally dawned on me.
“Tsehay!”
She winked at me too, and I waved frantically as Elias blew her a kiss, which basically had me swooning.
I was so gone for him. It seemed that my stupid heart had learned nothing after Miguel, and decided it was a great idea to throw myself on the potential emotional landmine that was Elias. A man who was not only in the midst of making some major life decisions, but was also in the closet and on the rebound. And had been burned by a dude with a profile similar to mine.
Did any of this deter my thirst for him? Not even a little a bit.
Self-sabotage, thy name is Desta Joy.
I turned my attention to the band as the first notes of “Love Galore” by SZA sounded out through the space. I immediately stood up and pointed a finger at the stage while grinning at Elias, who had a matching expression on his face. “I have to be standing for this song. God, I love SZA.”
He smiled and stood up too. Tsehay’s voice was sultry and did the song justice. I looked around and noticed most of the people had started gathering around the stage, swaying to the music. Within a few seconds the entire place was singing along and belting out the chorus. It was one of those moments that can only happen when you are at a great gig, with everyone in tune to the music.
After SZA, they did a couple of Bob Marley and Amy Winehouse songs, and some Ethiopian pop music too. By the time the first set was done, I was only feet away from the stage, in a knot of people cheering and singing along with Tsehay and her band. Elias was standing right behind me, and it was the first time I truly noticed his height. He was taller than me, so the top of my head was right under his chin. I was consumed with the thought of how it would feel to lean into him. To feel the heat of this body against my back.
I wanted to touch him so badly that I kept coming up with excuses to rub up against him.
By the time the second set started, the place was packed, and pretty soon I did feel Elias’s front pressed to my back. I looked up at him and he gave me a small smile as he ran a finger across my hip. Such a light touch, it could have been accidental. We were packed so close together. But with Elias against my back, a shiver ran down my spine at the contact. The impulse to turn around and push myself against him was so strong, I trembled.
When I looked up at his face, I could see my desire reflected there. As the band played and we moved to the music, we kept finding little ways to touch or brush against each other. Even a simple graze of his hand to my side felt erotic, and I was dizzy with wanting him.
After an hour of solid playing, the band was finally winding down and announced this would be their last song of the night. Elias bent down so he could whisper into my ear. “She always ends with the same song. That old Fugees cover of ‘Killing Me Softly.’”
I grinned up at him as I heard the first notes. “I love that song.”
As Tsehay sang the first verse, the entire place lost it. This song was an old favorite and so damn sexy, I almost turned around and wrapped my arms around Elias’s neck. I was feeling him, this place, this music, this night with an intensity that had me on the verge of recklessness. Somewhere in the middle of the song we both turned to look at each other at the same time, and it was pretty obvious we had to get out of there, or commit a dangerous indiscretion. As the final notes of the song died out, Elias and I turned around in unison and headed for the entrance.
The ride in the elevator was pure torture.
We stood on opposite sides and stared intensely at the numbers indicating which floor we were on. I felt like my body was on fire for him. Elias
