His head pounded in agony as the phone continued to ring, prompting him to curse, “Damn it—give me a second, will you?”
He groggily searched through the ruffled covers for the last place he had known his phone to be, before he realized that he was laying right on top of it.
“Damn…” he muttered to himself.
Mason then looked at the screen and saw that it was Raina calling.
He knew that he should probably answer it, but judging from his ill state of mind and composure, he was worried that he might not be the most pleasant person to speak with at the moment, and so, he let the call go to his voicemail.
Yet even in this disheveled state, he knew that there was one person that always made him feel better no matter what—his daughter Clara. Not even bothering to listen to Raina’s voicemail he quickly scrolled through his contacts and called her up. She answered with what sounded like pleasant surprise, “Hey! Dad! What’s going on?”
Mason quietly greeted her, “Hey Clara, how are you?”
Clara knowing her father better than anyone else, immediately knew that something was wrong and with the closeness that only a family bond can provide, without pulling any punches she remarked, “Dad you sound terrible—what’s wrong?”
Mason wasn’t much of a classic rock fan, but there was an old John Lennon song he always liked called “Crippled Inside”. The lyrics of the song had John singing, “You just can’t hide when your crippled inside”. The lyrics talked about as brave of a face as you put on, the emotional turmoil deep within is sometimes hard to mask.
The song came to his mind, and he could hear the words playing in his head, because that’s just how he felt—he felt crippled inside. And Clara knew it too, Mason couldn’t hide his mental state, as he admitted to her, “Sorry honey—I’m just missing your mom…”
She knew better than anyone else what all this meant. She softly intoned into the phone, “Dad…”
Mason felt almost like emphatically apologizing for even bringing it up. He felt like a jerk for bringing them both back to this sadness—especially when he knew that this was such a happy time for Clara as she embarked upon her new life at Stanford. He actually felt tremendously guilty for putting all of this drama onto her young shoulders.
And he told her as much, “I’m sorry Clara… I probably shouldn’t even bring it up…”
Clara quickly reassured him however, “No—no…. It’s fine.”
She knew full well that she was really the only one that her father was close enough with to vent his feelings. Clara truly understood the need that he had for someone with whom to relate his emotions. As such, she told him rather emphatically, “You can talk with me about mom any time that you want.”
Mason grateful for her support, sighed into the receiver, “It’s just that... Now that me and Raina are getting closer it’s bringing all of these feelings back to the surface….and I almost feel like I’m doing something wrong... Like I’m...”
Mason paused before continuing, “Like I’m betraying her memory somehow…”
Clara understanding her dad’s problem completely, quickly reassured him, “No way dad—you need to stop thinking like that! Mom would be so happy for you right now! She would love to know that you found someone as good as Raina to help you not be so alone all the time!”
Mason feeling tremendously relieved asked, “You think so?”
Clara nodded, “Yeah—I know so.” Clara then continued, “You can’t live in the past… You have to move on. And Raina is a good person for you to move on with.”
Mason replied softly, “I do like her…”
Prompting Clara to respond back enthusiastically, “Then you need to just go for it dad! Don’t let anything hold you back! Just go for it!”
Mason couldn’t help but be moved by Clara’s stirring words as he assented, “Okay…”
Clara then offered, “I hope that the two of you can take some serious steps to commit to a rewarding future together soon.”
Mason amazed at the mature fashion in which his 19-year-old daughter spoke could only agree, “Yeah I hope so.”
At the same time however, he was tired of the subject and wished to move on to other things. He did so by asking Clara, “So, how is everything at Stanford? Are you settled in for this semester yet?”
Clara knowing her dad was just wanting to change the subject, supplied a rather lackluster, “Yeah—its’ fine.”
Mason inquired, “Just fine?”
Clara replied, “Well—I’m just a little bit frustrated because my classes are scheduled so far apart it really puts a damper on any chance of having an active social life.”
Mason actually felt a little better to hear as much, considering the trouble that his daughter had gotten into the previous semester when she had run into the wrong guy. Thinking as much, Mason suggested, “Well at least you will have a lot of time between class to study.”
Clara unenthusiastically agreed, “Yeah I’m going to have to spend several hours in between classes cooped up in the lecture hall and student center studying—just me and my notes.”
Clara didn’t mention anything about Travis, the young man she had befriended while she had been taking those said notes. At this point, she figured she didn’t need to worry her poor dad unnecessarily. So, she continued to just talk about what she was studying in class instead.
She told him, ‘You know, I’ve got this really interesting anthropology class this semester.”
Mason inquired, “Really?”
Clara nodded, “Yeah, we’re studying the tribes of the Amazon right now. The Amazon rain forest seems like a truly beautiful place.”
Mason sighed to himself, as he thought, ‘Well—isn’t that ironic...’
Clara knowing full well that her dad had just gotten back from that very place cryptically questioned, “So how’d you like it?”
She knew that her dad wasn’t likely to come out and talk about his missions openly—especially
