Each Other Better. It Was Only During His Illness, That They Had Both
Come To Know How Many Ideas They Had In common, And What They Might Have
Been To Each Other. Now It Was Too Late, And She Looked Back On Her
Wasted Life With Regret; For Jacob Worse'S Idea Seemed To Her Quite
Impracticable.
The Day Before The Funeral, Madeleine Was Sitting In The Room Which
Looked On To The Garden. It Was A Raw, Cold Spring Morning, With A
Drizzling Rain From The South-West, And She Had Been Obliged To Close
The Window. Upstairs She Could Hear Her Father'S Heavy Footfall, Which
Came Nearer, Passed Overhead, And Then Became Lost In The Distance.
Never Had She Felt So Oppressed, Sick At Heart, And Lonely As In That
House, In Which There Reigned The Silence Which Always Seems To
Accompany Death.
A Knock Was Heard At The Door, And Pastor Martens Entered The Room. Mrs.
Garman Had Particularly Invited Him To Pay Them A Visit Every Day.
"Good Morning, Miss Madeleine. How Do You Feel To-Day?"
"Thanks," Answered She, "I Am Pretty Well; I Mean About As Well As I
Usually Am."
"That Means, I Am Afraid, Not Particularly Well," Said The Clergyman,
Sympathetically. "If I Were Your Doctor I Should Order You To Go
Somewhere For A Change This Summer."
He Still Kept His Hat In His Hand, And Remained Standing Near The Window
Which Led Into The Garden. Madeleine Was Sitting On The End Of The Sofa
At The Other End Of The Room.
"This Is A Gloomy Day For So Late In The Spring," Observed Mr. Martens,
Looking Into The Garden; "And A House Like This, To Which Death Has
Brought His Sad Tidings, Is A Mournful Place."
She Listened To Him, Keeping Her Eyes Fixed On The Ground, And Without
Returning A Word.
Chapter 22 Pg 140
"A House Like This," He Continued, "In Which Death Is Lying, Is A
Picture Of The Lives Of Many Of Us. How Many Of Us Carry Death At Our
Hearts! Some Hope Or Another That For Us Has Long Passed Away, Or Some
Bitter Disappointment That We Have Buried In The Depths Of Our Soul."
He Could See That She Bent Her Head Lower Over The Sofa, And He Went On
Speaking Earnestly And Soothingly, And Almost To Himself.
"Since It Is A Good Thing For Us Not To Be Alone; Since It Is Good For
Us To Have Some One To Cling To, When The Bitter Experiences Of Life
Cast Their Shadows Over Us, So--"
Madeleine Suddenly Burst Into Tears, And Her Sobs Reached His Ears.
"I Beg Your Pardon," Said He, Coming Close To The Sofa. "I Was But
Following The Bent Of My Own Thoughts, And I Fear I Have Made You
Unhappy, When My Object Ought Rather To Have Been To Endeavour To Cheer
You. Poor Child!"
Her Sobbing Had Now Become So Violent That She Did Not Any Longer Try To
Conceal Her Emotion.
"Dear Miss Madeleine," Said The Pastor, Seating Himself On The Sofa At A
Little Distance From Her, "I Am Sure You Are Not Well--I Have Observed
It For Some Time; And You May Imagine How Painful It Is For Me To See
You Thus Suffering, Without Having Any Right To Offer You My
Assistance."
"You Have Always Been So Good To Me," Sobbed Madeleine. "But No One Can
Help Me, I Am So Wretched--So Wretched!"
"Do Not Indulge Such Thoughts, My Dear Young Lady; Do Not Allow Yourself
To Think That Any Feeling Of Wretchedness Is So Great That It Cannot Be
Mitigated. Intercourse With The Friend Who Understands Our Nature Has A
Wonderfully Soothing Power Over The Sick Heart. And For That Very
Reason," Added He, With A Sigh, "I Feel It Doubly Painful That You Will
Not Allow Me To Be Such A Friend To You."
"I Cannot," Stammered Madeleine In dismay. "Do Not Be Angry With Me. I
Do Not Mean To Be Ungrateful. You Are The Only One--But I Am So
Nervous--I Don'T Understand It All. But Don'T Be Angry With Me;" And She
Held Her Hand A Little Nearer To Him.
Pastor Martens Took The Hand, And Pressed It Gently Between His Own.
"You Know I Mean To Be Kind To You, Miss Madeleine," Said He, In an
Earnest And Soothing Tone.
"Yes, Yes, I Know You Do. But Do You Believe--" And Her Eye Rested On
Him With An Earnest Expression.
"I Am Afraid Your Mind Is Disturbed; But I Hope That I May Be Able To Be
A Trustworthy Guide For You Through Life. You Have Been Unwilling To
Accept Me, And I Will Not Importune You; But I Must Tell You That
Everything I Have Is At Your Service."
"But If I Am Unable--But If It Is Too Much For Me. No, I Cannot!" She
Chapter 22 Pg 141
Replied, Hiding Her Face In Her Hands.
His Voice Was Kind, Almost Fatherly In Its Tone, As He Moved Nearer To
Her And Said, "Tell Me, Madeleine, Do Not You Feel As If It Was Almost A
Dispensation Of Providence? When I Asked You For Your Hand, You Rejected
My Offer Hastily--Without Consideration, May I Venture To Say? That Hand
Now Lies In Mine." She Made An Attempt To Withdraw It, But He Held It
Fast. "Here Are We Again Brought Together. Is It Not As If You Were
Destined To Be Mine--You Who Are So Lonely And Forsaken Amongst Your Own
Relations? You Do Feel Lonely, Madeleine, Do You Not?"
"Oh Yes; I Do Feel Lonely--So Dreadfully Lonely," Said She,
Disconsolately; And Whether He Now Drew Her To Him, Or Whether She Gave
Way Of Herself, She Now Lay With Her Head On His Shoulder, Wearied And
Helpless. And, As His Voice Sounded Bland And Soothing In Her Ears, She
Seemed To Recover Her Breath, As If After A Long Period Of Oppression.
In A Moment She Was On Her Feet: He Had Ventured To Kiss Her Brow. He
Also Rose, But Still Retained His Grasp Of Her Hand.
"We Will Not Tell Any One About It To-Day," He Said Reassuringly,
"Because Of The Affliction Which Has Come Upon Your Family. But We Had
Better Go To Mrs. Garman, And Ask Her Blessing. With Respect To Your
Father----"
"No! No!" She Cried; "Father Must Not Know Anything About It! Oh,
Heavens! What Have I Done?" She Murmured, Holding Her Hand Before Her
Eyes.
A Bland Smile Passed Over His Face As
