“No,” I said hurriedly, though the mention of the town made my pulse quicken. “I would love to.”
“Good. How’s half one? I should be finished by then.”
I glanced at Evelyn, realizing I’d made plans prior to asking if she would need me tomorrow. But she nodded and smiled, so I told Nadine, “I’ll be there.”
Nadine kissed my cheek and, her hands full, pressed her back to the library door to open it. As she ducked her head against the rain, which had blessedly slowed to a drizzle, my cheeks dropped my smile onto the floor.
“Windsor, eh?” Evelyn asked. “You sure you’re going to be all right with that?”
“I guess we’ll see.”
6
The breeze caught a handful of leaves from the ground and made them whirl in the air. My mother laughed as they landed in her hair, bright spots of orange and red radiant against her thick, dark tresses. She spun on the spot, arms thrown wide to either side and her head tipped back to meet the burning blue sky. She twirled until she toppled over and landed in the faded yellow grass. The earth was slightly damp beneath her, but she paid no mind to the bits of moist dirt that stuck to the elbows of her sweater.
“Your turn, Jackie,” she said, laughing breathlessly. “You try!”
Virginia Water Lake sparkled in the distance. A cyclist rode past us on the trail, the gears of his bike buzzing like a swarm of mosquitoes. A couple steered their stroller to the side to let him pass. Closer, a fat bulldog with a smushed face gamboled over to its owner, and two children argued over a shared cup of hot chocolate.
Mama drummed her fingers lightly on the back of my hands. “Come on, Jackie. Don’t be scared.”
Bracing myself on her shoulders, I stumbled to my feet, determined to show her I could do what she asked of me. I steadied myself, let my arms fan out as she had done, and stepped around in a tight circle. Seconds later, my small feet tangled up beneath me, and I fell. As the rough grass scraped my knees, I let out a howl of anguish.
The sky darkened. The cyclist and the children and the bulldog vanished. Clouds formed at an impossible rate overhead, shifting and whirling into menacing faces of gods with no mercy. I couldn’t move from the ground, rooted to the earth through my hands and knees.
Mama strolled beneath a tree, oblivious to the rolling thunder. Though her legs moved, she stayed in one spot, eyes twinkling, mouth trapped in a laugh. She didn’t see the figure made of darkness creep up behind her.
“Mama!” I screamed. Prickly vines wound around my hands. The harder I yanked to free myself, the tighter they clenched. Thorns pricked my skin, drawing small dots of blood. “Mama, look out!”
Mama smiled and laughed. The dark, hooded figure sprung upon her. Lightning flashed, and the blade of his knife glistened beneath it. He wrenched Mama to the ground and stabbed her—one, twice, three times—as if he liked the sucking sound of her organs against the blade. Mama laughed on, blood pouring from her wounds.
“Mama!” I cried, the world blurring through my tears. “Please!”
Mama turned toward me. “Don’t be scared, Jackie,” she said. Blood bubbled between her lips. Her eyes were blank and lifeless. “Don’t be scared.”
I woke with a yelp. Evelyn rolled out of slumber and the bed, landing on her feet with her good hand raised. She drew a baton from a hidden corner of the bedroom and lifted the weapon above her head, ready to whack whatever threat was nearby.
“Who was it?” she demanded in a curt whisper. “Where’d they go?”
I curled up, wrapped my arms around my legs, and rested my forehead on my knees. “No one broke in, Ev. I had a nightmare. That’s all.”
Evelyn lowered the baton. “Are you all right?”
Cold sweat coated my neck and chest. I felt shaky all over. The images of the nightmare slipped away, as they often did, but the sight of my mother, choking on her own blood as she told me not to be scared, stuck in my head.
“Yeah, I’m fine.”
“Liar.” She crawled back into bed and crossed her legs to sit in front of me. “Do you want to talk about it?”
I squeezed her fingers, taking strength from her warm calloused hand. “I was with my mother in the park. Then I saw him kill her.”
“You weren’t there,” Evelyn reminded me in a gentle tone. “It wasn’t real.”
“My mother’s death was.”
She brushed wavy strands of hair from my face. “I know you’re still hurting after all these years. Being back here must be bringing up a lot of memories. Plus seeing that woman yesterday—I’m not so sure you should meet her today, Jack. It’s not good for you.”
I inhaled through my nose and forcefully exhaled through my mouth, breathing out all the bad memories. “I can’t be scared of the past. Nadine helped raised me. I’m not going to pass up the chance to catch up with her.”
“You know her well, right?” Evelyn asked, suspicious as always. “You don’t think she wants something from you?”
“Like what?”
“Money?”
I snorted. “She’d have to extort someone else. I have seven dollars in my savings account.”
Evelyn rocked backward and lay across the foot of the bed. She propped herself up on the good shoulder. “The timing seemed weird. You’ve visited me several times, and no one has ever recognized you before.”
“Now who’s drawing unwarranted conclusions?” I asked her. “We’ve always stayed in London before. My mom’s friends live in different parts of the country. We only ran into Nadine because she works at Oxford.”
“If you say so.” When she saw me roll my eyes, she added, “I don’t want you to get hurt, okay? I remember what it was like after your mom died. If you went back to that…” Her eyes glazed over as she trailed off.
My mother’s murder had derailed a great deal of my life
