There’d been no time for just the two of them since they’d been helped out of the tunnel by Roman’s team. They were rushed off to separate hospital rooms for treatment, interviewed by the guardia civil, then petted, praised and scolded by Mateo, Roxanne, Henry, Devonte, Namrita, and Carmen Louisa. There’d been no time for Sofia to tell him what she’d realized. What she wanted.
Now, she could see the muscles jumping in his sleek jaw as her own body quivered at the temptation of him, the unbelievable reality that she’d gotten to him in time. He steeled himself and looked back up, caught her in his sparkling black gaze. “If I’m in touching distance right now, Sofia... I’m gonna touch.” She felt his eyes stroke over her. Felt the same disbelief that they’d made it to the other side. “And I don’t know if that’s something you want. I don’t know if that’s something I’ve earned.”
Sofia ran her hands up through her hair—she’d left it loose and soft—and pushed off the bar stool to stand. She walked to the end of the bar, trailing her fingers over the marble, and then stood to the side of it, letting Aish see her from head to toe. Let him see the black baby doll dress, embroidered with bright flowers, that covered her arms and the tattoo she was thinking about removing, but left her long legs bare from the top of her Doc Martens to upper thigh. Let Aish see all the skin he talked about coveting.
“I know it was John I spoke to that day in the hospital,” she called across the cellar space. “I heard him say it in the tunnel.”
Aish stared at her. His eyes moved over her like he was seeing a mirage. And then, careless if the fantasy was real, he was coming at her, a big man on long legs, barreling toward her and crashing into her, tunneling his fingers into her hair, bending her back over the bar, sleeking a hot hand up her thigh as he took her mouth in a life-confirming kiss. A kiss giving her his heat and breath and pulse.
“Holy fuck, Sofia,” he gasped into her mouth as he pulled back to stare in wonder at her. “Holy fuck, you saved me. How did you fucking find me?”
Her hands moved over him, greedy for the feel of him in her arms again. “It was John. He’s so stupidly arrogant, he went to the trouble of changing his face but not that horrible cologne he always wore.” She buried her nose in Aish’s neck and inhaled the cleansing scent of him. “I realized I’d smelled him, down here and when we were at the bar.” She squeezed his biceps, hot and full of tensile strength, in her fury. “Roman’s security team was coming up the main route but I know a shortcut. Gracias a Dios, you got him talking, I could keep track of you as we were getting close. When I heard him tell you to get in the pool...”
She pulled her head back until she could look into his eyes, take in that spark that she’d been terrified she’d never see again. When she’d watched him dive in and heard the gunshot, she’d felt the nightmarish despair of true never, total and endless. This wasn’t a cold she’d wrapped herself in; this was a dark emptiness that would go on forever.
Driven by “He needs me!”, she’d sprinted out of the mouth of the tunnel with Roman on her heels and dove into the freezing water. She’d found Aish’s waving black hair and closed eyes in her headlamp. She thanked the hours of squatting to pick grapes for her ability to swim them to the surface and resist the whirlpool’s tug.
It had been anger, not despair, that had her smacking him upside the head. ¡Absolutamente no! Not after everything. He wasn’t allowed to leave her now.
Now, she pulled him down to kiss her again, to cover herself in his warmth.
His hungry kiss ended too soon, though, when he picked her up and sat her on the bar top. His hands gripped the marble near her hips and he stared grimly into her eyes.
“My apologies thirty days ago would have been for the wrong reasons, apologizing for the wrong things. Can I try to tell you I’m sorry the right way now?”
She nodded solemnly.
Aish took a steadying breath. “John’s not to blame for what happened to us. I made the decision to break your heart after I told you to trust me, and I put you in the position to believe him when he answered my phone. If I hadn’t hurt you so bad, you would’ve known it wasn’t me. Then you wouldn’t have been...” Aish stopped, shook his head, and pressed his face into the bend of her neck.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered into her skin, and Sofia rubbed her cheek against his hair.
She let his words soothe the wound.
“I’m so sorry you were alone. I wish I’d been there.” He nuzzled his face in, but then sniffed and straightened. He cleared his throat then looked her in the eyes again, ready to take a bullet. “I let you go,” he said. “I didn’t fight for us. I used you in my songs, but I didn’t contact you. John didn’t do that; I did that.”
“Why didn’t you ever reach out?”
“I was afraid,” he said immediately. “I’d convinced myself I was reaching out, with the songs and the tats, that I’d done the work and the ball was in your court. But really...” He shook his head. “I was just chickenshit. If I never tried, then I could live in hope of one day. But if I tried and failed, it—” He stopped, and his gaze ran over her face like he was afraid it was one of the last times
