Mara slid off my lap. "All right, Nico, let's talk."
I watched them wander off toward the little house. Once they'd gone inside, I got up and stretched, trying to think of what I should do while Mara was gone.
Damian raised his brows at me. "You're one brave guy, Ollie. Don't think I would've let my new girlfriend run off with her ex."
"They didn't run off. They went into the house for privacy."
"How much history do they have? Did they date for a long time?"
I hesitated, not sure why, before I answered. "They were married for two years. Knew each other since college, though."
Damian's brows hiked up even more. "Damn, that's... Are you sure you're okay? I like Mara, but if she still wants to hear what her ex has to say, I'm thinking it's not as over as you might want to believe."
"You met Mara a couple hours ago. I know her better."
"Uh-huh." He sat up, straddling the chaise. "Look, man, I'm your best friend. It's my job to make sure you're not jumping headfirst into an empty pool."
"Mara is the most amazing girl I've ever met."
"Yeah, but is she really over her ex?" He held up his hands when I started to protest. "Hey, just doing my best friend job here."
"I know you mean well, but stay out of it. Okay?"
"Sure. Whatever you want. Keep your eyes open, that's all I'm saying. My Ludar lidar is pinging like crazy."
"Your Ludar lidar thought Trina was the perfect woman for me. But she dumped me for another girl."
"It's not a foolproof system."
Yeah, Damian loved to talk about Ludar lidar. He was a Ludar by heritage, but they didn't have lidar back when his ancestors fled Romania. That was a modern technology, like radar but with lasers instead of microwaves. Whenever Damian thought I was making a mistake, or stepping into iffy territory, he would tell me his Ludar lidar was pinging.
"You said your piece," I told him. "Let's drop the subject, okay? Help me figure out what to do to distract myself while Mara's having a heart-to-heart with her ex-husband."
Damian glanced at the Kittens, who were gathered at the other end of the lawn, laughing and making big hand gestures. "I wonder what those luscious ladies are up to."
"No frigging idea."
He got up, smiled, and slapped my arm. "Let's go find out."
Sure, I wanted to go hang out with my ex while Mara had a private meeting with her ex. Which meant I didn't want to do it at all. This day had started out so good, with my girl and my best friend. Now it seemed primed for getting flushed down the toilet, with all my good luck swirling and swirling until it dropped into the septic tank of life.
Yeah, that was my luck. A rotten shithole buried under my feet.
I could tell from Damian's expression that he really wanted to meet the Kitten Brigade.
"Sure," I said, "let's go see what they're up to."
Chapter Twenty-Three
Mara
Why was I inside Eve and Val's house talking to Nico when I'd rather be outside with Ollie? I felt sorry for Nico, I guessed. Which was ridiculous. He filed for divorce. He made me feel unworthy, like a total screw-up who didn't deserve to be with him. Sure, he never said those exact words. But I heard them between the lines.
Our marriage had started out good. I couldn't deny that.
But he trashed it, not me.
Nico sat on a stool at the kitchen island, while I stood on the opposite side of it. I wanted distance between us, to let him know I was not ready and willing to leap into his arms at the first chance.
He fidgeted, scratching his neck. "Look, I know I messed up big time. I had a great girl. I had you, and I threw it all away. It was the worst mistake of my life."
"You wanted a divorce, Nico. I gave it to you."
"Thought that's what I wanted, but I realize now I was just scared."
"Of what?"
He glanced down at his lap, then back up at me. "I love you so much, and I didn't think I deserved a woman as special and incredible as you. Kept thinking you'd leave me. So I, uh, decided leaving you first was the best way to keep from getting hurt later on."
"You said I was stifling you. That my neurotic behavior drove you crazy, and you couldn't stand being with such a screw-up."
"I know. I said that." He rested his arms on the island, keeping his head bowed. "That was my fear talking. Took me a long time to realize it, but I made a huge mistake that I need to fix."
What on earth did he expect me to say to that? Everything he'd said and done during the last six months of our marriage had shown me how little he cared about me. When he'd moved out, I had cried---but I'd been angry too. When he filed for divorce, I cried and languished in a blue mood for a week, but then I'd tried to get on with my life. Now he'd changed his mind. He wanted me back?
Oh come on.
I crossed my arms over my chest. "Why should I believe you?"
He knifed his fingers through his hair, letting out a long breath. Then he walked around the island to me, laying a hand on my shoulder. "I missed you so much, Mara. Not having you in my life for six months---eight including the separation---it made me realize how much I love you. I got scared, acted like a jerk, and fucked up everything."
"What do you expect me to say? You wanted a divorce."
"Because I was terrified you'd leave me for somebody better."
I tried to be angry. I should've been angry. But the look on his face, the tone of his voice, those things stopped me. He seemed so...sincere. Part of me wanted to believe him. The end of my marriage had been my worst screw-up
