Eve laughed again, much louder than before. "Honestly, Ollie, you're the cutest."
"This isn't funny, Evie."
A male voice said something in the background, but I couldn't make out the words.
"Hang on," Eve said. "Val wants to talk to you, man to man."
Oh great. The notorious playboy, the guy who used to strip naked on the soccer field when his team won a game and the guy who'd starred in his own sex tape, was about to give me advice about women. One woman. A nutcase.
A really hot nutcase.
"Ollie," Val said in his Brazilian accent that women all seemed to love, especially Eve, "I hear you have a woman problem."
"There's no problem. Everything's fine."
He chuckled. "You're infatuated with a girl who's afraid of nudity. How is that fine? I can give you advice, you know."
"Thanks, but I'm good."
"Are you sure? I do have experience in this area."
"No, man, that's okay. I can handle things with Mara."
"All right. If you're sure."
We said goodbye, and I stood there with my forehead on the glass. Movement caught my attention again, and I glanced at Mara's window.
She had pulled the curtains halfway open and now held a small pair of pink binoculars.
I lifted my head, sure I couldn't be seeing what I thought I was seeing. Mara, the anti-nudist, could not be watching the naturists with binoculars.
But she was.
Maybe she wasn't as uptight as I'd thought. If she had a naughty streak... Just thinking about that made my hard-on return. Oh fantastic. I'd be spending who-knew-how-many days around a woman who gave me the worst case of blue balls in the history of mankind.
I sat down at the desk and forced myself to concentrate on work. Accounting was pretty much the most boring thing on earth, next to watching a golf game, so I focused on that for half an hour. My stiffy softened up gradually the less I thought about Mara, distracted by the complicated accounting software, until I felt reasonably confident I wouldn't look like a total perv when I walked out of the office.
Ruth Norris cornered me when I got to the bottom of the stairs, so close to escaping the guest house that I could see the exit sign down the hall. Of course I couldn't get away without an embarrassing conversation with a seventy-ish woman who loved to razz me. In a sweet old lady way. Like she was my naughty grandma.
"Ollie," she said, hooking her arm around mine. "I've been looking for you."
"Did you need something?"
She fixed me with a grandmotherly look of concern. "Are you all right, dear? Everyone can see how much you and Mara like each other, but the poor girl is afraid of nudity."
"How do you know if we like each other? You saw her for thirty seconds and never even spoke to her."
Ruth's mouth kinked up at the corners in a sly smile. "She came out of the house while you were hiding in the office."
"She---what?"
"Mara sneaked outside to have a look, from a distance, and I met her." Ruth urged me to walk, taking us down the hall toward the exit. "She's such a lovely girl, but I'm afraid she's full of anxieties. Mara needs a good man to straighten her out."
I had a sinking feeling in my stomach, like somebody had dropped a head-size boulder in there and it was tearing a hole in my gut, that I knew what Ruth would say next.
She squeezed my arm and tapped my chest. "You, Ollie. You are the man who can help her."
"When did I become the house therapist?" I shook my head. "Mara is crazy. She's cute, yeah, but totally out there. What do you expect me to do about it?"
Ruth waggled her eyebrows. "I'm sure you can think of something."
Yep, no doubt about it. A senior citizen was encouraging me to have sex with Mara in the hopes that would "straighten her out." I wasn't self-conscious about my skills in bed, but honestly, I kind of doubted I could fuck sense into Mara.
But I'd have fun trying.
No, I would not. Sex as therapy? Jeez, the girl was so uptight she'd probably shriek and hit me over the head with a baseball bat if I tried to seduce her.
Well, she had kissed me.
Oh no, I could not be seriously considering Ruth's insane suggestion.
Even though I was absolutely not considering that, I heard myself saying, "I'll see what I can do."
"Try singing for her. Women love men who have hidden talents."
"Uh, maybe. We'll see."
Ruth led me out of the guest house, then peeled off to go find her husband, Sylvester. I spotted him playing checkers with another senior guest, Gil Foster. The two silver foxes had become good buddies right off the bat when Gil had arrived a few days ago.
Other guests were playing volleyball on the court that had been set up for miniten earlier.
A trio of twenty-something girls had brought out butterfly nets and were jumping around trying to catch the little critters. Even the bouncing of their breasts couldn't rev my libido.
I scanned the area, looking for Mara.
She hugged the corner of the little house, not far from the kitchen windows, her expression pinched. I couldn't tell for sure if she had her eyes closed, but I thought maybe she did. I hadn't expected her to come outside at all, so this was a huge step forward for her. I walked toward her, seeing more of her face the closer I got. She held her palms to her cheeks, then slid them up to cover her eyes, only to peek out between her fingers.
"Enjoying yourself?" I asked, coming up beside her.
Mara jumped like she hadn't noticed me approaching. "Ollie, I---Well, I thought immersion therapy might be the best thing for me."
"Sounds like a plan. How's it going so far?"
"Think I need to go back inside for a while."
"No rush. Take
