The pink Cadillac was an exception.
After a little while, Ben stood and excused himself. There was somewhere else for him to be, and Mia escorted him out of the house while two of her girlfriends descended into giggles and whispers behind their hands. Jared sighed to himself and slid into the vacated seat.
“See,” Mia said triumphantly when she returned. “I told you he’d come if I asked him.”
Jared suppressed a smile and fetched himself a beer from the fridge. He couldn’t be bothered to go all the way upstairs for another whiskey. There wasn’t any danger of him throwing a big New Harbor party before they graduated, but if he did, it would be like this. Not upstairs, with Queen Clare presiding over the peasants, but like this easy atmosphere in her basement with people he thought might be his friends after all.
After Jared’s third beer, he was starting to get a little fuzzy, enough to relax into the corner of the couch with his arm around Ryder, hugging her close. She still wasn’t drinking after her overdose and seemed as tired and weary as he was. It was nice, having her small, warm body pressed into his side, even if her fake boobs were uncomfortably hard. Her hair smelled nice, and Jared wondered if he could ever go straight for a girl. Probably not. But it was interesting to think about.
When a strong, warm hand landed on his shoulder, Jared knew who it was without turning. Not Chris or the surprising return of Macklemore, but the one person he’d been avoiding for months.
Conversation in the small group silenced immediately as thirty pairs of eyes swiveled in Adam’s direction.
“Can I talk to you?” Adam said in a low voice.
Jared paused for a moment, during which those thirty pairs of eyes moved to look at him. If he said yes, they’d gossip as soon as he left. If he said no, he’d look like a dick.
They were going to talk anyway.
He got up.
Without saying anything else, Adam walked out of the room, not waiting for Jared to follow. It was a habit that had made Jared crazy before, and not much had changed. He didn’t look back as he used his long legs to catch Adam up and followed him wordlessly through the Metagos’ house.
Outside it was freezing. A bitterly cold wind whipped at the corners of the house and stung Jared’s exposed hands and face for the few moments they were outside. Adam immediately ducked into a doorway Jared hadn’t noticed before.
“Jeez,” Jared muttered, rubbing his hands together for warmth.
“Sorry,” Adam said to Jared’s great surprise and flicked on both lights and heaters.
It was a huge, luxuriously appointed pool house with a deep, half-Olympic pool and a Jacuzzi at the far end. He guessed the wood-clad room next to the Jacuzzi was a steam room.
Under the surface of the water, more lights glowed, casting flickering shadows on the low ceiling. It was a beautiful space, but Jared didn’t know why he was here.
For a moment he looked at Adam.
Still slim, still perfect, still needing a haircut where the soft brown waves fell into his eyes. Jared itched to reach over and push them back from Adam’s face. He reined in his impulses and bit down on his self-control, willing it to stay strong.
Adam was wearing a shirt and jeans, like most of the guys at the party, although his looked far more expensive. He was playing with the cuff of his shirt, not looking up, not making any move to tell Jared what the hell he’d dragged him out here for.
Making a snap decision, Jared turned to leave.
“Don’t go,” Adam said immediately.
Jared sighed. “Okay. What do you want?”
Adam’s nostrils flared, like he was supremely uncomfortable. He probably was. Jared noticed everything at once—the twitching fingertips, the one knee bouncing in place like it did when Adam was upset or annoyed or bored. The eyes that still wouldn’t fucking meet his.
“I want to go back,” Adam said, so quietly Jared had to strain to hear him over the sound of gently lapping water.
“Go back to what?”
“Being able to sleep. To the day before Chris’s party and tell Clare to fuck off. To the moment before you left after… after… and tell you what I was going to say.”
“What were you going to say?” Jared asked. His stomach knotted tightly and his fingertips were cold again.
Adam looked up, eyes pleading, as if begging for Jared to not make him say it. They were long past Jared doing anything to make Adam feel better, though, and he waited patiently for the next words to fall from Adam’s lips.
“I was going to say… to tell you… I was in love with you. Am,” he corrected, looking down at his shoes. “I am in love with you.”
“No you’re not,” Jared said sharply.
“It would be a lot easier if I wasn’t, believe me,” Adam said with a harsh, humorless laugh.
Jared waited for a few moments while the silence hung thickly between them. “So, what now?”
“I think,” Adam said slowly, “That I’d like you to let me. Love you, I mean.”
A piece of Jared’s carefully constructed armor cracked, with a tiny fissure that spread and grew until it was all threatening to come down around him.
“I don’t know if I can do that,” Jared admitted. His voice didn’t sound like he remembered it. There was a new roughness that probably had something to do with the hard lump lodged in his throat.
“Okay,” Adam said. “I suppose I deserve that. I just had to know….”
“I don’t want to go back,” Jared said. “I don’t want to hide in your room from the rest of the world. I don’t want there to be something no one else is allowed to see in case they get the wrong impression. If there’s something there, I want everyone to know about it. I want it to be
