Still, even with that in mind, Pav decided he had to offer Konstantin some semblance of trust, considering what the man was currently giving him. He kept that in mind as he replied, “Leaving here makes me uncomfortable when I’m—”
“We’ll work on that, hmm? And for this … I could make an exception.”
Well, what did that mean?
Pav didn’t bother to ask.
3.
INSTEAD OF taking one of the three plush couches in the waiting area of the office, Viktoria opted to stand near the window. It was less awkward than pretending to read one of the many magazines on the coffee table while she waited for her appointment. Plus, with her back turned to the girl sitting at the modernly designed desk, she didn’t have to act like she gave a fuck about talking, either.
All wins for her.
It wasn’t her first time at this particular office—not even the tenth. Yet, it didn’t get any easier. Her anxiety about the things that might be discussed behind the office walls hadn’t lessened with time. She still felt like, more than anything, she wanted to shrink away and hide from the rest of the world.
The place was comforting, sure. Clean and modern. White walls and chrome accents. A few tasteful, scattered pieces of artwork hung from the waiting room’s walls. Mostly abstracts of women’s faces. They matched the whole modern theme of the rest of the area.
Viktoria couldn’t remember which person in her life recommended this particular therapist to her, but after trying three others who’d either made her uncomfortable or immediately wanted to put her on some kind of drugs to deal with her issues … well, this had been her last stop. If this therapist hadn’t worked out, then she wouldn’t look for another.
This wasn’t like trying food. She didn’t have to do therapy to keep going day to day—she was going to be fine one way or another. She was going to survive, just like she had been surviving for the last couple of years.
Or, that was the lie she kept telling herself.
“Miss Boykov, Cindy will see you now.”
Viktoria turned away from the window and gave the receptionist behind the desk a tight smile in silent thanks as she passed. Although, she wasn’t even sure if the smile came out as true and honest, or not.
Did it even matter?
She was the bitch.
Ice queen.
It wasn’t like anyone expected different.
Viktoria walked down the hallway that led to the door at the very end. She knocked once on the white wood and waited for the usual permission to enter.
“Come in,” Cindy called from within the office.
She took one deep breath—just enough to settle the tightening of her chest and the racing of her heart. Truthfully, it didn’t help at all. It was just yet another little white lie that Viktoria liked to tell herself, because if she could pretend she was fine, then that was all that mattered to her at the end of the day.
She knew she was a mess.
No one else needed to.
“How long has it been, Viktoria?” the therapist asked as she entered the room. “A few months, hmm?”
Viktoria nodded as she headed for the spot she usually sat in while they had their hour of time. A white chaise in the corner of the room facing the only large window in the office. She could sit on the chaise, turn to the window, and watch the people with their normal, unbroken minds walking to and from wherever they were going while she was once again forced to spill all her secrets and pain.
It was easier.
She was all for the easy things …
“About that long,” Viktoria said.
She sat on the chaise and turned her back to Cindy, but she knew the woman wouldn’t mind. The therapist was up for whatever made a patient feel comfortable. She would talk to Viktoria like the two were looking one another in the face, and not like she was speaking to her back. She appreciated that.
“I decided to take my brother’s advice after I came back from my vacation, and come see you,” Viktoria said.
Cindy made a noise under her breath. “And how is he—I’m assuming you’re talking about Konstantin, because the other one … Kolya, correct?”
“Kolya is the oldest.”
“Yes, Kolya. He doesn’t discuss your personal business in the same way that Konstantin does, right?”
“Kolya is smart.”
“Or he thinks it’s better to leave you be.”
Viktoria could hear the amusement in Cindy’s voice and she didn’t need to turn around to know that the woman was probably wearing a soft smile to match, too. She’d spent enough time sitting in this office to know exactly what Cindy looked, like depending on her mood or temperament that day.
The woman had never once changed her sharp, angular brown bob, and she always kept a pair of large, black-rimmed glasses on the top of her head because she needed them to read. She preferred pencil skirts and silk blouses to pant suits, and she kept her face clear of makeup for the most part, except the occasional lip balm. She was soft-featured, brown-eyed, and her round face was made to look slightly longer by the bob that she always kept pin-straight.
“Kolya is … easier not to talk to,” Viktoria admitted.
“So you’ve said before.” Cindy sighed, and then asked, “So, why did Konstantin think you should make an appointment with me after it’s been so long? He’s probably moved out of
