“What happened between you and the guy who was Annie’s daddy?”
“That’s something I prefer not to talk about,” Suzanna said and kept walking.
——————
THAT EVENING AFTER SUZANNA LISTENED to Annie’s prayers and tucked the blanket around her shoulders, she leaned over for a goodnight kiss.
“Mama, should Aunt Ginger be glad she’s not you, because you got me?”
Suzanna felt as though a bowling ball had been dropped into her stomach.
“Lord God, no, Annie. Why, you’re the best thing that ever happened to me. You’re what gives me a reason to live, a reason to be happy.”
“Then why should she be happy to not be you?”
Suzanna gave a long and heavily weighted sigh, then sat on the side of the bed and trailed her fingers along the curve of Annie’s shoulder. She thought, given the number of years that had gone by, she might have forgotten about that life, but she hadn’t. It was right there, as ugly and raw as it had been the day she last saw him.
“It happened a long time ago, Annie, before you were born…” Suzanna spoke slowly, trying to gauge how much she should or shouldn’t tell an impressionable seven-year-old. “My daddy was a terrible person. He drank too much whiskey, was meaner than Earl, and—”
“Was he my daddy too?”
Suzanna smiled and shook her head. “No, he wasn’t your daddy. He would have been your grandpa, except…” She paused a moment, realizing that Annie’s life had been hard enough. She didn’t need to know the whole truth. “Except I ran away from home and never saw him again.”
“That’s okay, Mama.” Annie reached across and placed a small hand on Suzanna’s arm. “We still got Grandpa Bill. He loves us and is watching over us all the time.”
The corner of Suzanna’s mouth curled. “Really?”
Annie nodded. “We can’t see him because he’s dead, but he can still watch over us.” With barely a breath in between, she then asked if her daddy was dead too.
“I doubt it, but I don’t know for sure. As I’ve told you, baby, he left before you were born, and I haven’t seen or heard from him since.”
“Oh. I was hoping maybe he was dead.”
“Why on earth would you hope he was dead?”
“Because then I could get a new daddy.”
“Who told you that?”
“Nobody. I figured it out. My friend Debbi said her first daddy got dead in a car accident, and then she got a new one.”
“Debbi Hicks, the little girl you walk to school with?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Her mother married Albert Hicks, that’s why Debbi has—”
“You could marry Mr. Gregg. Grandma said he’d make a fine daddy.”
Suzanna gave an exasperated huff. “Annie, why’d you go badgering Grandma about this after I’d told you to forget about having Gregg for a daddy?”
“I wasn’t the one. Grandma said it first.”
“She did, did she? Well, then, I’ll have to have a talk with Grandma and—”
“No, Mama,” Annie pleaded. “Don’t talk to Grandma. If she finds out I told, she’ll be mad and it will spoil everything.”
Suzanna couldn’t imagine Ida being angry with Annie over anything, but she didn’t give in. “Okay, if you don’t want me to have a talk with Grandma, then you’ve got to promise me something in return.”
Annie nodded. “Okay.”
“Promise me you will forget trying to make Gregg Patterson your daddy. That you will not mention it again, and you will not discuss it with Grandma or anyone else. Most of all Gregg.”
“Ever?”
Suzanna gave a stern-faced nod. “Ever.”
“But what if—”
“Never. Not under any circumstances.”
“Okay,” Annie said reluctantly.
Suzanna bent and kissed her forehead. “Now close your eyes and go to sleep. Forget we ever had this discussion.”
Just as Suzanna was about to snap off the light, she heard a small voice.
“If I forget this discussion, I might forget the promise too.”
“You’d better not,” she warned and closed the door.
Suzanna
The Fashion Show
ON THE DAY OF THE fashion show, Suzanna was awake before dawn. The fear of discovery she’d felt weeks earlier was gone; it had been replaced by a nervousness that caused her heart to flutter when she allowed herself to think of the disasters that might happen.
For weeks Colette had instructed her on how to walk with her head tilted at a lofty angle, how to turn without ever breaking stride, and how to smile as though she were the Mona Lisa. But last night during the country club run-through with all three models, she was the only one who’d made a mistake. On the second turn, she’d gone wide and bumped into a table. Then she missed her cue to open the suit jacket and show the lining.
Colette had glared at her and in a voice reeking of frustration shouted, “Mon dieu, have you also forgotten how to smile?”
At the time Suzanna had been so focused on the movement cues that she had indeed forgotten to smile.
“Sorry,” she mumbled and fixed her mouth in the look they’d practiced.
After a lifetime of trying to go unnoticed, stepping out into the limelight was more than intimidating. It was downright frightening.
She’d originally agreed to do it because of the extra money, but now she was certain that had been a gigantic mistake. With the way things were shaping up, she’d be happy to just get through the day without looking like a clumsy ox or making a blunder so outrageous that she’d lose her job. Last night Colette seemed genuinely displeased with the run-through. She’d left without saying good night, good luck, or anything. Today Suzanna would have to do better. Much better.
When she climbed from the bed, the sky was still dark and the house as silent as a stone. With her feet bare and her thin nightshirt replacing the elegant gowns and suits, she began walking back and forth across the room, making the turn as gracefully as any model who’d ever strolled a Paris runway. As she circled the chair and passed by the dresser, she envisioned the huge dining room
