Suzanna popped her head into the kitchen, said hi, then hurried upstairs. Normally she would have welcomed the chance to sit with Gregg and Annie, but now she simply wanted to be alone. Even though she told herself she’d done nothing to feel guilty about, the guilt was there. It soured her stomach and elbowed her heart with questions that had nothing but impossible answers.
Yesterday she thought she knew exactly where her life was headed. She was in love with Gregg, and he felt the same about her. It was practically a given; not the fiery passion she’d known with Bobby, but real and filled with promise. Only now Bobby was back, and with him came the memory of all they had once meant to one another. His words echoed in Suzanna’s ears.
I’ve never stopped loving you.
For years she’d waited, hoped and prayed that he’d come for her, and when he didn’t she’d cursed him for leaving her behind, abandoning her and their baby. But now she knew the truth. He’d looked for her at graduation, then gone to her house and searched in vain. He hadn’t forgotten. Although eight years had gone by, he’d never stopped loving her, just as she had never stopped loving him. Didn’t a love like that deserve a chance?
The image of Gregg carrying Annie on his shoulders at the fair flashed through Suzanna’s mind, and she felt a crevice open up in the center of her heart. The two parts of her life were divided; on one side Gregg with his easy smile and patient ways, on the other side Bobby with the undying love he’d carried in his heart all those years. Making a choice was impossible, but not making one was worse. It was unfair to everyone, most of all to Annie. She wanted a daddy and now Suzanna could give her one, but which was the right one?
That evening, dinner was a quiet affair. Annie chattered on about how she’d found the prince’s shoe, and Ida talked of how she’d gotten material enough to make new curtains and a matching throw pillow for Annie’s room. When Annie said the training wheels on her new bicycle had broked, Gregg laughed and said they weren’t broke, they just needed tightening.
“I’ll fix it after dinner,” he added.
Suzanna knew much of their life revolved around Annie—not just hers, but Ida’s and Gregg’s also. That would change were she to choose Bobby.
Later that night as she lay in bed trying to sort through her feelings, she found herself comparing the two men. They were different in so many ways, but each of them held a piece of her heart. Gregg was a good man, a man who’d already demonstrated his love for Annie. Right from the start, he’d been open and honest with her; shouldn’t she be the same? It wasn’t fair to give him half a heart when he deserved so much more. He hadn’t yet asked her to marry him, but now she was starting to wonder what her answer would be when he did.
Suzanna tried to picture Bobby fixing Annie’s bike, but instead she drifted back to thoughts of how it was when they were together. The memories she’d hidden for all those years were still there. The heat of his mouth covering hers, his hands finding the sweet spots of passion, his eyes savoring her nakedness as he whispered promises of love. What Bobby had said was true; they were good together.
Eight years ago she’d walked away; she’d heard him calling her name but hadn’t turned back. She was angry and hurt, too prideful perhaps or stubborn. In the weeks that followed, he’d looked the other way when they passed one another in the hallway, but hadn’t she done the same thing? They’d been too young to realize that a love like theirs was a once-in-a-lifetime thing and foolishly allowed it to slip away. Now fate was giving them a second chance, an opportunity to make up for the stupidity of their youth. Only a simpleton would ignore such a stroke of luck.
Gregg was a good man and great with Annie, but it wasn’t fair to compare the two men when he’d spent all those months getting to know her and Bobby had never even met his daughter. That was something she’d remedy right away.
When she met Bobby at the Ellington, she’d tell him of her feelings and say she was ready to give their love another chance. She’d insist he meet Annie right away; after all, he was her daddy. There was no longer a reason for waiting, and once Annie realized he was her father she would most likely be as taken with him as she was with Gregg. Suzanna would explain that she couldn’t move forward without taking Annie’s feelings into consideration. They were a package deal; there was no having one without the other.
When she finally closed her eyes, she could almost see Annie skipping alongside of her birth daddy as he regaled her with stories of how he’d come to find her after eight long years of searching. She was drifting on the edge of sleep when she noticed that from the back Bobby looked strangely like Gregg.
——————
THE NEXT MORNING SUZANNA AVOIDED having breakfast with everyone and hurried out, claiming that she’d promised to help Colette rearrange the jewelry showcase. As Gregg said goodbye and kissed her cheek, she felt the sharp-edged fingers of regret take hold of her. Last night she’d planned to tell him about Bobby, not the whole story of who she was, but a sketchy version saying only that Annie’s father had come back and was asking for a second chance. Today that no longer seemed possible.
In the darkness of her room with thoughts of Bobby crowding her mind, everything had seemed so much clearer. But this morning as she was starting
