He dipped his chin ever so slightly, an indication for her to continue.
She started by saying she was not actually Ida’s granddaughter, then went on to explain how such a lie had come about. “I never meant any harm. I thought Annie and I would stay a day and then be on our way, but that wasn’t what happened.”
“Does Ida know this?” he asked.
Suzanna nodded. “She does now.”
She went on to tell how after almost eight years, Annie’s father had found her and wanted to get back together again.
“I saw him a few times then realized he was nothing more than a memory I’d foolishly held onto. I never loved him the way I love you, but at the moment I thought it might be the best for Annie. He knew the truth of who I was, and it meant there’d be no more lying.” She gave a weighted sigh, one drawn up from the very depth of her soul. “Living a life of lies is a very difficult thing; you’re constantly looking over your shoulder, and you go from one day to the next wondering who’s around the corner and when the truth will catch up to you.”
“So you lied about everything?”
“Not everything.” She hesitated a moment, waited until his eyes met hers, then spoke. “I never lied about loving you. That was true then, and it’s true now.”
He turned his head, looked away and said nothing.
Suzanna had come this far, and she wasn’t ready to give up now. She inched closer and touched his arm. “I’m hoping that you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”
“I wish it were that easy,” he said and brushed her hand away. “But it’s not. That night you had a choice to make, but instead of believing in our future you chose to take a chance on the past—a past that didn’t include me. I was devastated, Darla Jean.” His voice grew colder, more distant, and he asked, “Or should I call you Suzanna?”
She heard the underlying bitterness in his words but tried to move past it. “Grandma Ida suggested I might use the name Darla Sue. She saw it as a blending of the two. How would you feel about something like that?”
He gave a shrug and stood there looking like a man who was bone tired. “This name or that, I guess it really doesn’t matter. If you’d been honest with me that night, we might’ve worked things out together, but you didn’t trust me then and I’m not certain I can trust you now.” He pulled his keys from his pocket and dangled them from his finger. “Having a child together is a tie that binds a man and woman together forever. He’ll always be Annie’s dad, and I’ll always be wondering if and when you might decide to go back to him.”
He leaned forward and unlocked the car door. “I wish I could be more understanding, but after all that’s happened, I’m not certain we can ever find our way back to where we were.” He opened the door then turned back. “I need time to think about it, Darla Jean. I need time to decide whether our relationship is worth saving.”
As she watched him climb into the car and drive off, the tears she’d been holding back started.
“It is worth saving,” she whispered tearfully. “It really is.”
——————
THURSDAY NIGHT SUZANNA DID NOT sleep a wink. She lay awake staring at the ceiling, wondering if she’d said too much or too little. Over and over again she asked herself what else she might have said, but she could think of nothing. She’d told him the truth about everything, but maybe the truth was more than he wanted to hear. Time to think, he’d said, but he’d promised nothing. He’d driven off without a single glance back. Almost as if she were someone he’d already forgotten.
When Suzanna crawled out of bed Friday morning, her eyes were bloodshot and her nose puffy and red as a tomato.
“It’s nothing,” she told Ida. “A slight cold, maybe.”
“Well, you look terrible. Go back to bed. I’ll call Colette and explain that you’re sick.”
“No,” she said. “I’ve already missed too many days.”
Suzanna knew endless hours of lying in bed was the last thing she needed. She had to stay busy, concentrate on something other than Gregg.
She arrived at the shop moments before a thunderstorm rolled through and brought drenching rains. The weatherman had predicted it, saying it was a rapidly-moving cold front and he’d promised that by noon the skies would clear, but such was not the case. The rain continued throughout the morning and well into the afternoon without any sign of stopping. By three o’clock, only two people had come into the shop. The first was a sales rep looking to speak with Colette; the second was Misty Williams who plucked a simple black skirt from the rack and carried it to the register.
“Don’t you want to try it on?” Suzanne asked. “I’m not busy and if it needs alterations, I’d be happy to—”
“No, thanks,” Misty said. “It’s my size, and I know it will fit.”
After Misty left, Suzanna stood at the shop window and watched the rain. She felt sadder than she’d ever felt in her entire life. Sadder than when Bobby had passed her by in the school hallway; sadder than when her daddy called her a whore and threw her out; sadder perhaps than the day she’d watched them lower her mama’s casket into the ground. Back then she’d been ten years old, too young to realize how long forever was when you’ve lost someone you love.
That evening after a dinner that Suzanna barely picked at, she sat on the floor of the living room helping Annie piece together a jigsaw puzzle, but her thoughts were a million miles away. After two hours, all
