The main lesson was simple. Whenever a spirit comes into sight, a sorcerer should make an immense detour and, if possible, hide behind some hills or thick forests while circling around. Those who possess exceptional powers of concentration should convince themselves that the spirit doesn’t exist, that they’re just riding in a circle because they saw some pretty flowers. It sounds foolish, but it helps.
If that all fails and the spirit notices the skulking sorcerer, the only hope is to be polite. A smidge of fawning is fine, but not too much. If the spirit suspects insincerity, it may tear the sorcerer into a thousand bits before he takes a breath and then make a belt out of the sorcerer’s tendons and ears.
Only a desperate or foolhardy sorcerer would try to bind a spirit into servitude. I had done it twice, but in both cases, I was damned polite about it. I had never known Halla to behave so foolishly, and when the elephant seal chastised us, Halla did not behave recklessly. She took care to stay quiet and stare at me until I spoke and took all the risks.
I resisted, but at last my discomfort and her moral superiority forced me to speak.
“Wise and persistent spirits!” I shouted. “We apologize for dragging this nasty ship across your fine ocean. Please let us continue our voyage. When we dock, I promise to burn this horrid vessel to the waterline!”
The woman’s voice sang out from off the portside. “You are a sorcerer. Falsehoods spill from your lips like wine.”
I turned toward the voice.
“Wait right there!” the seal bellowed, loud enough to echo off the sail behind me. “Look over here, right here at me. I know what your kind thinks about.”
The woman called out, “We shall hold you here. We will becalm you until you eat one another rather than starve.”
I didn’t think either of these spirits could be Memweck in disguise. Neither of them spoke as if they thought they were the most amusing creature ever to draw breath. Also, we had conversed for over a minute, and neither of them had threatened to destroy any cities, tear anybody apart, or throw bits of dead children down on us.
I decided to say something stupid, on purpose. They might feel forced to correct my stupidity and so accidentally tell me something that was true. I waved at the elephant seal. “Memweck, it’s kind of you to wait out here to welcome me, especially since I’m coming to pull out your heart. I’d like to feed it to my dogs, but they’re at home. I guess I’ll feed it to Whistler here.”
The seal swam backward twenty paces before shouting, “Damn you! Break all your teeth! I’m not Memweck. You don’t really think I’m him, do you? Really? He’s a horrible little squat. Just nasty. His lineage is exceptional, true, but for a superior entity, he bounces around and blathers a hell of a lot. I assure you that I am not Memweck, and my wife isn’t either!”
“We merely do Memweck’s bidding,” the woman said in a flat, carrying voice. “Before you ask, we’re not proud of it.” I glanced over in time to see her shrug before I averted my eyes.
“Ah,” I said in what I hoped was a wise tone. “You are spirits, then. Water-woses.”
“We are.” She flipped her pale hair, and I glanced.
“Eyes over here!” the seal bellowed.
The woman went on: “So, you are within our power. We can destroy you or make you suffer as easily as swallowing.”
“That would be a sad thing,” I called out. “Is there some way to avoid it? Riddles? Or a contest? If we win, you—”
“Quiet! Hold your face shut!” the seal shouted. “Do we look like the one Spirit of the Bending Sea, entitled to bargain with you?”
“We were allowed to bargain last week,” the woman said with a certain coldness. “Somebody thought a poetry contest would be fun and so got our riddling privileges revoked . . .”
The seal grumbled, shook its head, and dove with a slippery wiggle.
I had assumed they were water spirits of the Bending Sea—the sea across which we were sailing. They weren’t the one Spirit of the Bending Sea. That being would be a tremendous, mighty spirit. But it could allow any number of water-woses to live in its sea.
These spirits had said some awful things about Memweck, who seemed to have bound them in some way. Of course, Memweck was a nasty bit of business.
I shouted, “All right, forget the riddles. So, you’re forced to do Memweck’s bidding? Well, that’s some goddamn injustice for you!” I tried to sound as outraged as a loving, over-protective mother. “How can a babbling, half-assed foreigner with pretentions of divinity come to your world and compel fine spirits like yourselves? It shouldn’t be allowed!”
The woman turned her perfect face down, gazed at the water in front of her, and didn’t answer.
A man popped up where the seal had been, the water at his waist. He was as pale as his wife, almost glowing, hairless except for wild green hair. He, too, was as beautiful as only a magical creature can be. He didn’t shout this time, but I could hear him just fine. “The gods never loved us. But they never despised us until now.”
The woman murmured, but I could hear her over the splashing ocean. “I felt myself die, you know. Our existence ended. It did. But then we existed again, right between breaths. I cannot make myself understand it.”
I assumed they were describing the moment years ago when all magic ceased in the world of man, and then the moment that the way for the gods reopened. All kinds of magic and mystical creatures returned. That would have included spirits.
The man said, “The Spirit of the Blue River saw Krak curse you to be the Way-Opener. You made us exist again.”
“You’re welcome.”
“We’re not thanking you.” The man frowned, and his ideal forehead wrinkled.
The
