Leddie pointed at her open mouth and mumbled, “I stole this lock of Memweck’s hair. It isn’t big, but after you hold the damn thing in your mouth for a while, it feels like a coil of dirty rope. Understand this: When Memweck’s hair is inside you, he can’t see you. Unless you’re right in front of him, then of course he can see you—he’s not an infant. I mean he can’t see you from far away.”
I grimaced. “The hell you say.”
Leddie nodded. “The hell I do say, you son of a farting toad.” She choked a little. “Don’t worry, I didn’t quite swallow it.”
“We cannot hold hair on our tongues until we reach our enemy.” Halla gestured around us. “Unless he is in one of these houses here.”
Leddie shook her head.
Halla picked up a heavy smith’s hammer. “Where is he?”
“Wait!” Leddie said. “You don’t have to hold the hair in your mouth. I wouldn’t recommend such a thing anyway. Although his hair does taste like blueberries.”
Whistler coughed as if he were choking. “Not in my mouth? I’m not poking any holy hair up my butt. It sounds blasphemous.”
“And temporary,” Bea added.
“No, no, no! You’re not a single damn bit of help!” Leddie glared at me. “You! You’re such a smart, tree-throwing son of a bitch! You stick it under the skin!”
I stared down to think. Her proposition sounded idiotic. But when dealing with gods, crazy things were more likely to be true than normal things. I had heard that Effla’s tears were an aphrodisiac so powerful people would screw until they died of thirst. And whoever carried Chira’s fingernail clippings could call any kind of bird and make it do tricks until predators came and ate it. In general, using bits of the gods’ divine selves brought curses and blessings both.
While I was thinking, Halla squatted in front of Leddie. “Your hair trick means nothing. We cannot trust you. You tried to kill us.”
Leddie laughed with care. “Is that all? Who hasn’t tried to kill somebody here? Bib, this hillside of a woman once tried to kill you, right?”
I thought back to Halla slamming me against those crates when we were young.
“And you left that oaf to die.” Leddie nodded at Whistler. “Oh, Bib, this girl almost killed you and nearly gelded you.” Leddie pointed at Pil, who turned red. “I tried to kill you too. Damn it, Bib, every woman you’ve ever met probably wanted to kill you.” She squinted at Bea. “Do you want to kill him? No? What’s wrong with you?”
I held up a hand. “Just wait—”
“We even kill our wives and children, don’t we, Bib?” She raised her eyebrows at me. “Memweck told me all about every one of you.”
Part of me wanted to cut her throat, but that part of me felt beat up and tired. “Now, wait. You have a semidivine ally.”
“You mean I have a cruel master.”
“Maybe. Why do you want to jump out of his godly ship and crawl into our leaky rowboat?”
“I only want one little thing, and he made it clear he’ll never give it to me.” Leddie dropped her voice. “I want his sword. No one can capture me if I have it. I mean, no one can defeat me if I have it.”
“And why do you want that so much?” I said slowly.
“That’s my business.”
“Fine. Halla, break her knees.”
“Shit! All right.” Leddie glowered at me. “Have you ever been powerless while people hurt you?”
“You’re powerless now.”
“I didn’t ask about me, you whirling raccoon’s ass!”
I frowned but answered her. “All right, yes, I’ve been as meek as a newborn piglet.”
“For how long?”
“Um, nearly a year, not that it matters.”
“Nowhere close to me, then.” Leddie shrugged as much as she could while tied to a tree. “Nothing like me at all. What did they do to you?”
“They cut off my hands.” I admit to smirking a little, but she didn’t flinch or even glance at my hands.
“Oh? That’s not so bad. But it’s something, so shut up and let’s help each other.”
“I do not care about Bib and his hands,” Halla grated, “and your whimpering means nothing.”
Leddie thrashed against the ropes for a few seconds and fell quiet. Then she started laughing hard, but her chin was trembling and her eyes were still too wide. I was surprised she didn’t choke on the near-divine hair. She may not have been insane all the time, but at that moment, she looked crazy as hell.
“Why don’t we toss all that crap in the corner for now and come back to it?” I said briskly. “Where is Memweck?”
Leddie’s face grew calm, as if somebody had wiped calmness onto it with a rag. “I would be an idiot to tell you that, wouldn’t I? I mean, why would you even need me? It hurts me that you think I’m so stupid.”
“You don’t need to come at me teeth-first,” I said. “I don’t expect you to tell me precisely where he lays his big, holy head at night. I mean what direction do we go?”
She gestured with her chin. “West.”
“Along the coast?” Whistler asked.
Leddie nodded.
Halla raised the hammer. “You’re lying. The oracle said go north.”
Leddie snorted. “Oh, the oracle said it? I guess she was right then, because you came north to get here, and now you’ll go west if you want to find Memweck.”
“The oracle was a man,” Whistler muttered.
“That’s nice. Did you fall in love?” Leddie gazed around at us. “Say, why don’t we do a bold thing and return to the problem of Memweck watching everything you do? I’m not a military expert like everybody else here seems to think they are, but it’s hard to surprise somebody who can look at you whenever he wants!”
“Certainly.” I nodded at Leddie. “I’ll scratch you, put one strand of Memweck’s hair under your skin, and heal it. If you don’t strangle, or burst, or start telling us about your childhood, I guess it will be safe enough for the rest
