“Pig shit on apple pie, are all of you bastards trying to get a cut of this deal?” the Murderer said.
Harik said, “Murderer, I know that I’ve taken a firm stance in the past on clearing your current debt before any more deals, but I am prepared to waive that restriction, this one time only, to assist you in this dire situation.”
“Really?” The Murderer’s voice oozed sarcasm.
“Truly! I am prepared to offer you a substantial trade. I will grant power enough to completely heal the Nub. I also offer power beyond that, which you may use to heal, bless, call the forces of nature, or anything else within your talents. This will be a large block of power—five complete squares. Just make an offer.”
“Just kiss my ass. If you have an offer to make to Desh, make it.”
“I’m asking very little of you, really. In addition to the many murders you have already accomplished for me in such a fine fashion, I would require that within the next week, you murder the one person you care about most. Easily done, as I’m sure you’ll agree, since those whom you love tend to annoy you beyond all reason quite quickly. My own wife comes to mind.”
The Murderer laughed. “No. Definitely no.”
“Ah, that is a shame. But as a bit of incentive, I will reduce your open-ended debt in addition to my current extremely generous offer.”
“That doesn’t mean a damn thing. You could say the debt’s cut by a hundred, but only you know how many I still owe. It might be a thousand, or ten thousand.”
Harik smiled. “Or one hundred and one.”
The Murderer sneered. “I don’t trust you, so forget it.”
Sakaj whispered, “Harik, how much are you willing to give? Once the Veil comes down, this open-ended debt may be the best deal any of us has.”
“We need the power right now,” Harik whispered. “A dependable stream of power means nothing if we all get pulled in half and tossed around the landscape.”
Harik said to the humans, “Very well. I’m making a tremendous sacrifice here, but I’m prepared to cancel your open-ended debt completely—paid in full—if you kill the person you care about most within the week. I will also deliver five squares so you can save the Nub.”
The Murderer looked down and hunched his shoulders. His jaw tightened and relaxed over and over for what seemed like a long time. “I might…”
Fingit peered at the Murderer and whispered, “Oh… is he about to cry? That’s embarrassing. You should kill him when we’re done, Harik.”
The Nub cleared his throat, twice. “Say no. Nothing’s worth that. Let’s leave.”
The Murderer nodded. “All right. Harik, I say no.”
“You should reconsider. You will never get a better offer. You’ll never even get this offer again.”
“On second thought… no. Drop it. My answer will always be no.”
Harik whispered a litany of volcanic curses. Then he took a slow breath, although his fists remained clenched. “A shame. Very well, I don’t see what we can do for you.” He scowled and motioned for Fingit to take over.
The Murderer and the Nub began drifting back to the world of man.
Fingit said, “Wait! There may be a way for us to help, but it won’t be cheap.”
“Let me guess,” the Murderer said. “Desh trades you something you fancy, then you peel off part for yourself before passing it on to that impotent leech, Harik. He snatches off a taste for himself and then delivers the power to Desh, who gives him permission to cede it to me. How am I doing?”
“Quite well.” Then Fingit whispered to Harik, “Drifting Whores! The Murderer is too dangerous to let live. We should kill him as soon as possible.”
Harik hissed, “The Murderer is my property. If you touch him, I shall give you to Cheg-Cheg tied up in ribbon.”
Fingit shook his head and answered the Murderer. “It’s been a while since we’ve worked a four-cornered deal, but we can certainly manage it. So, Nub, make your offer.”
The Murderer began whistling some stupid human melody.
The Nub’s face did something between a smile and a grimace. “You should offer me something first. I want something good, and don’t try to trick me. Please.”
“Murderer, shut the hell up!” Fingit yelled, and the man ceased whistling. “I will deliver, by proxy, two squares of power for the price of—”
The Nub cut in. “Bib, how much power do you need?”
“Two squares are far too much. We need half a square at most.”
“I want half a square, Fingit, no more.”
The little bastard. That was nothing but luck for him to think of that. Fingit sniffed. “All right. I’ll deliver one-half of one square in exchange for the removal of your capability to father children for the rest of your life.”
The Nub’s mouth dropped open, and he actually covered his groin with one hand. “What? You damned… you…”
The Murderer said, “That is a bit expensive, but understand that Fingit is just taking a tough bargaining position. Desh, as your advisor, I suggest a counteroffer of forgoing one orgasm some time within the next year.”
The Nub yelped, “Yes, that one! The orgasm one! That’s my offer!”
Fingit put some contempt into his laugh. “That’s hardly an offer at all! Did you come here to waste our time? Here’s a different offer then. In exchange for the power, you’ll become a compulsive gambler with horrible luck.”
“No!” the Nub yelled. “Bib? Do you have any advice?”
“Yes, I do, son. I’d offer these snakes one bad but temporary rash in the next year.”
“All right… I see what you’re saying. I offer one bad but temporary rash in the next
