Sakaj’s hand slipped onto Fingit’s shoulder from behind, wrinkling his new white robe woven from the hair of the finest sacrificial goats. Sakaj had snapped Fingit’s train of thought, but he maintained his poise. He was a god, and a god would never do anything so prosaic as to jump in surprise. He did bite his tongue quite sharply, however, which made him angry with himself and with Sakaj. He used a long, deliberative pause to give his tongue time to recover before he spoke. “Everyone seems happy, eh?”
Sakaj stepped back and nodded, staring into his eyes.
“Are you happy?” Fingit asked, more from politeness than from any real interest in her happiness.
Sakaj shook her head, still staring.
Fingit glared at her. “Hell, you’re not going to stop talking and start knocking yourself off again, are you? Because that shit loses its amusement value real quick.”
Sakaj smiled with obvious warmth. “No, I’m not going to do that.”
Fingit felt a bit sorry that he’d spoken so harshly. “What are you unhappy about then? We’re on the road to glory and comfort and power and victory over our indestructible enemy. We’re back!”
Sakaj shrugged. “I’ll be damned if I sit by and let those demented back-warts take all the glory for themselves. You heard Krak.” She clenched her fists and strutted around the room like a constipated gorilla, dropped her voice two octaves, and mouthed each word as if it could fill a cavern with her magnificence. “‘Nice job with the pissant village healers! Cultivate this warlord like he was a broccoli stalk! Sakaj’s bunch takes a long time to find, but oh, they’ll be worth it!’ Screw Krak and all the rest of those pathetic, self-congratulating invertebrates.”
Fingit looked around, expecting Krak—or a searing beam of light—to hurtle through the door right away.
Sakaj paid him no attention. “Every one of those immortal turd-eaters gave up. They all gave up except for you and me. You hung on to your sanity, which probably makes you the least imaginative and most boring god that’s ever existed.” Fingit began to object, but Sakaj pushed on. “And I persisted even when I was as crazy as a bug in a butter churn. Those bastards down there didn’t elevate themselves hundreds of times to discover how to reach across the Veil. They didn’t figure out how to get you over there to help them. I did those things! Who the hell do those cheap paper gods think they are?”
Sakaj’s eyes crackled with divine lightning, and her cheeks flared as red as her gown. With her chin up and her breath quick, Fingit became aware that Sakaj was exceedingly attractive—when she was clean and not dismembered, and her hair didn’t look like something pulled out of a yak’s ass.
“But, what can you do about it?” Fingit asked, covering up his sudden interest in Sakaj’s charms. “Krak has spoken. He’s told us how things will be. That’s the way it is. You know that. Unless you want your breasts to get a tan that goes all the way down to your ribcage?”
Sakaj laughed. “No, I don’t intend to get one of those. Effla didn’t heal for a month after Krak chastised her bosom off. But I will damned well elevate myself every day for another year before I let any of those smirking, gloating creatures back there snatch even a grain of glory.” Sakaj took a step toward Fingit and placed her hand on his chest.
Oh, I am such a dimwit… she knows. She knows I’ve got a little thing for her, and now she’s going to lead me around by the metaphorical dick just because I’m stupid and she can do it. Fingit cleared his throat. “What’s your plan?”
“The Freak. We need her to make some deals. None of the other sorcerers can give us as much power as the Freak.”
“But isn’t she used up? No longer interested?”
“They’re always interested, if you offer them the right deal at the right time. You know that. We just have to create those circumstances. I am damn well going to get her to deal.”
Fingit chewed his lip. Sakaj grasped the front of his robe and shook it lightly. “We can do it, but I need your help. The Freak now protects her brother’s sons, the last of her family’s line. The Nub has attracted the love of a river spirit that will do anything to save him from harm. So, you will betray the Nub and give him to his enemies. I will promise the spirit to help her save the Nub, but only if she threatens to kill the Freak’s nephews. Then I will force the Freak to bargain with me in order to save those children. She always was soft for children.”
Fingit crossed his arms. “That plan’s too simple. Would you like to add a cavalry charge and an erupting volcano for spice?”
Sakaj waved Fingit away. “You’re adorable. It is not too complex for gods. Kingdoms have been won with plans far more complex.
“What if somebody kills the Nub? Then I’ve got nothing!”
Sakaj walked to Fingit and stared at him from a foot away. “I won’t let that happen. Trust me, the river spirit can slaughter any number of ruffians when my power is with her.”
Fingit shook his head, and Sakaj grabbed his jaw. “It will take both of us. But when we push through the Veil using the power that you and I secured, then Harik and the rest will gag on their envy.” She put her lips by Fingit’s ear and whispered, “And I guarantee that Krak will never forget what we did.”
Sakaj released Fingit and stepped back. She crossed her arms over the elegant flash of her cleavage, cocked one svelte hip, tilted her head so that her black hair brushed her bare shoulder, and said, “So?”
She let her question dangle until Fingit was ready to answer. After a good thirty seconds, he sighed. “All right. How do we do this?”
(Sakaj)
By the time
