Sakaj and Krak trotted to the deep depression that Cheg-Cheg’s severed foot had left behind. They found Fingit lying in the bottom, dazed and squeaking, but alive in his unscratched armor. They hauled him upright and steadied him as he climbed out of the depression, stumbling and drooling.
When Fingit had been revived somewhat, he said, “I figured I’d get stomped on. I mean, if you hit a giant monster on the foot with a hammer, expect to get stomped on, right? So I planned for that contingency. A bit tougher armor, a few special enchantments blended to be extra-sticky and extra-stretchy, and there you go.”
“Risky. Too damned risky, and not much of a plan,” Krak said.
“Maybe,” Sakaj said. “But it worked.” She spotted Lutigan dragging a half-drowned but still-wiggling Harik to shore.
Fingit let his head fall back, and he shrugged. “If all this happened like I planned, I figured you’d know what to do. If it didn’t, then I’d be dead and wouldn’t give a crap anyway.”
Sakaj smiled and kissed Fingit on the cheek, then she patted him on his armored head. “Sneaky bastard.”
Eighteen
(Fingit)
No one had peed on Fingit all morning, which made him feel a little victorious. He rolled onto his back on the luscious grass that smelled sweet enough to eat. The sun dusted warmth onto his face, and the breeze brushed it away.
A paw like iron drove into his diaphragm, and another slapped his upper thigh. He gushed air, and a tongue of unparalleled determination tried to lick the inside of his mouth. At least the dog had learned not to pee on him. Laughing, Fingit pushed away the tongue and the furry head it belonged in. “No! Bad dog.” The dog backed away a step and barked as Fingit sat up. As soon as the god was steady, the dog bounded onto him and began licking his ear. Fingit hugged the solid, shaggy, unexceptional beast around the neck, and the creature sat on his foot.
Fingit had put some thought into making this dog, and he wanted it sufficiently prepared for its purpose. He reached behind him and flung a large stick he’d brought. He reminded himself to hold back. Now that Fingit possessed his godlike physique once again, he could toss the stick past the estate walls with no effort. The dog galloped away and returned with the stick by the time Fingit had stood. It offered Fingit the stick, which he grasped. Then the dog refused to give it up, tugging and shaking its head.
Pretty good so far.
Later that morning, after Fingit and the dog had enjoyed a modest interval of jumping, barking, and drooling, Sakaj walked onto Fingit’s estate. Her rapid, sinuous, and disdainful stride brought her through the platinum gates set into immense, green marble columns. Upon seeing Fingit with the dog, she halted. “You needn’t limit your acquaintances to your intellectual equals. I’ll use short words when I talk to you from now on.”
Fingit hid his annoyance by chuckling and scratching the dog’s loose neck skin. Sakaj had become increasingly sharp and even cruel to him in the days since they’d maimed and vanquished Cheg-Cheg. She had accused him of trying to steal her glory just because he’d banged out a few trinkets and gotten crushed. Fingit had explained that glory was flying around in abundance these days, and he didn’t need any of hers. She had clarified that all the glory was hers. He didn’t want to go to war against Sakaj, especially when he’d just rebuilt all his dwellings, but she was acting crazy even for her.
“Come on, Krak’s waiting,” Sakaj said. “You can bring your mistress.”
“Krak can wait. This fine beast is yours. It’s a present.” He clapped the dog’s shoulder and stepped back.
Sakaj rolled her eyes and walked away toward the gate. “I’m going. I didn’t want to bring you, anyway. I’ll tell Krak you’re off plotting to murder him. Since you’re so glorious now.”
“Wait, you’ll want this dog. It’s special.”
“I heard about the dog you made for Krak. No thanks.”
“Just wait!” Fingit yelled.
Sakaj turned, cocked one hip, and lifted her jaw at him.
Fingit pointed at the animal, which sat and began scratching its ear. “Even though you’re an aggravating, prevaricating, deranged, treacherous serpent and you’d melt me in lava if it suited you, I feel like being nice. You need this dog.”
Sakaj crossed her arms. “Oh, of course I do. You must think I need something to love. That will make me gentle and floppy like you, correct?”
“Not at all.” Fingit gave her an innocent look.
Sakaj sneered. “All right, you must think I’m stupid enough to take a dog that’s booby-trapped or cursed.”
“No. I think you need something to kick that will still love you.”
Sakaj frowned at Fingit. Then she looked at the dog, which was now licking its rectum. “Well… that wouldn’t be any fun. No challenge.”
“You never know. Maybe you’ll feel lazy some afternoon. Regarding booby traps, I’ll disassemble her down to the screws and gears so you can inspect her.”
“Never mind that. I can see that you’re telling the truth. You’re so transparent. And gullible. I used you like an old rag.”
“You certainly did.”
“Did you name the creature? Probably something pedestrian such as Floppy or Scraps.”
“Not exactly.” Fingit cleared his throat. “I inscribed a hundred lead balls with a different letter on each, put them in a sack, and drew out seven without looking at them. I laid them in a row on the anvil, still not looking, and then I threw them into the forge. No one ever saw what they spelled, so the dog’s name is, well, unknowable.”
Sakaj looked away, but not before Fingit saw her grin. She said, “Does it do any tricks?”
“Only one. Say the name of the being you
