A noise at the door made her jump and she looked round.
Nina and Venetia were standing there, watching her.
“Why are you packing, Cassie?” Nina asked.
Cassie tried a brittle smile. It felt forced and fake.
“I need to get going. You girls will be all right now. Your papa will be here later this evening.”
As she said the words, trying to reassure the girls, Cassie realized that by leaving now, she would be abandoning them when they were most vulnerable. They would be forced to spend a lonely and uncertain day in the house, unsupervised and uncared for.
Venetia’s face fell.
“Oh, Cassie, please don’t go! I thought you were spending today with us. We are both so excited. We came to find you, to ask what we could do now, as we have ideas for some games and activities.”
“You mustn’t leave,” Nina added. “I can see you’re scared after what happened, but we are scared of being left alone, too. Please stay with us till Papa comes.”
Cassie stared at them, torn by indecision.
Every moment she spent here with the girls meant that the window of opportunity for escape grew narrower.
And yet, was there even a window at all? This detective was efficient and she planned ahead. With Cassie’s luck, they’d have roadblocks in place before she could even get to the highway, and if she did reach the border, she’d find herself and her passport seized.
Worse still, the children would never understand why she had gone.
Of course, if she was arrested, she’d also leave suddenly—but then they would know why. If it happened that way, she could make sure that Falcone called someone else to stay with the girls and Nonna. That would be the responsible thing to do.
If she up and ran, she wouldn’t be able to make sure of anything.
Cassie blinked back tears as she thought how callous and selfish it would be to shoulder her bag and push her way past these two confused children, and walk out of their lives forever.
“No, sillies,” she said. “I’m not leaving now. I’m just getting my bags ready for when your papa gets here. Why don’t we go and play catch outside? It’s not too cold, and the clouds have cleared.”
Nina ran to fetch their big, colorful ball, and the three of them headed downstairs and out into the garden. As she stepped outside, Cassie realized this might be the last time she saw the sun, and felt the wind, for a long while.
The girls seemed thrilled to burn off their pent-up energy, and Cassie was sure that moving and running were helping them to release the tension that they had lived with for many months now. They played for a breathless twenty minutes, with Cassie doing her best to forget her terror and be fully present with the children.
“Throw to me, Cassie! Throw to me!” Nina shouted.
Cassie threw the ball high in the air, so that Nina had to scamper after it, screaming and giggling and leaping to catch it before it hit the ground. She tossed it to Venetia, who caught it one-handed, yelling with delight at her own brilliance.
Cassie forced herself to try and live in the moment, to suppress the sick anxiety that threatened to overwhelm her. She reminded herself that everything was possible and that good outcomes, and even miracles, could happen. Fearing the worst would mean living inside a prison before she was even there, she told herself sternly.
Cassie had never been good at setting her fears aside. She guessed it was partly the abuse she’d endure as a child that had shaped her response. When all the power was in the hands of a caretaker who used it unpredictably and irresponsibly, there was no choice but to accept that bad would happen.
As she leaped to catch the ball, breathing in the fresh, cold air and feeling the low sun warm on her skin, Cassie reminded herself that only she was capable of changing her own attitude to life. Nobody else could do it for her.
Panicking wouldn’t help her now. Her fate had already been sealed. But if she was able to remain calm when the bombshell landed, perhaps there would be a chance to discuss her options. She must not panic. She must not despair.
Cassie flung the ball as far as she could, sending Venetia racing after it with a squeal, wishing that it was as easy to put distance between herself and her problems.
Despite her resolutions to be cool and controlled, when the front door opened, Cassie felt her stomach twist so hard that she almost threw up.
Detective Falcone called out, her voice stern.
“I will have to interrupt your game, Cassie. Please come inside. I need to speak to you in private.”
CHAPTER THIRTY FIVE
With Falcone’s words, Cassie knew the hammer blow had fallen. This was the moment she’d dreaded.
She wanted to collapse in tears, right there on the neatly trimmed grass. It took all her strength to smile at the children and pretend that everything was all right.
Her legs were shaking with fear as she walked into the house, but she managed to keep her chin high and not break down into petrified sobs.
Falcone looked surprised by her demeanor, as if it didn’t fit with the picture of Cassie she’d had so far, or what she’d thought her likely reaction would be.
“Shall we talk in the living room?”
Once there, the detective took her time opening up her briefcase and going through her notes. She set a glass of water on the coffee table and placed the tape recorder next to it. Cassie perched on a wingback chair, with nausea roiling inside her. She knew that all she could hope for would be to somehow negotiate a small victory in her favor.
Even though it hadn’t been done in cold blood, and she
