Lana nodded in agreement. “Funny how prayer is your first resort and somehow my last.”
“Oh, please, don’t put me on a pedestal, because if I start believing in my own goodness again I’m doomed. Trust me when I say, the crash off that platform is painful.”
They prayed together for wisdom and guidance and peace flooded in. “Oh, I feel so much better,” said Lana, “Not sure why it takes a crisis to get me motivated.”
Anna laughed. “Because you’re human. We mere mortals are a fickle bunch, but somehow God just keeps on loving us.”
Forty-five minutes later, while on their second cup of tea, an unenthusiastic Lorena entered the kitchen with her head down and a scowl on her face. “Let’s get this over with.”
Anna refused to join her in that place of gloom and smiled wide. “This is going to be so much fun, Lorena. And if your ideas are great, I’ll take you for ice cream.”
“Like I’m six again?” Lorena asked with sarcasm.
“No, like you’re sixteen and in need of some sweetening up.” Anna placed an arm around Lorena’s shoulders and gave a quick squeeze. “Besides, I’m forty and still love ice cream as much as I ever did. We’ll stop at Purdy’s in the mall and get those chocolate and nut covered bars. Yum. Yum. A perfect choice for the winter season, don’t you agree?”
“Whatever.”
Anna let the attitude slide and handed a coat to Lorena.
Lana mouthed “thank you” as Anna waved and closed the door behind them.
Once in the car, Lorena voiced her none-too-happy opinion yet again. “Just so you know, I’m not into this. I feel fat, clumsy, and embarrassed to be seen in public.”
Anna ignored the tirade.
“Tell me, is there something in the air? Because Melody’s been cranky too.” Anna caught Lana’s eye and gave her a playful wink. “I had to drop her off at her dad’s so that I could have a few peaceful moments with you. Please don’t tell me you’re going to pick up where she left off? I don’t think I could handle that in the same day.”
Lorena threw an anemic smile Anna’s direction.
“Now, where to first? Shall we look for a nice gift for you? I love the way you give me the perfect idea and then feign total surprise when you open it.” Anna laughed. “To watch you unwrap your gift is a joy worth every penny.”
Lorena glanced down at her bulging stomach and back at Anna. “Don’t worry about me, Auntie. I can’t fit into anything I like anyway.” A flat, dejected tone filled the car.
Anna was determined not to leave her there. “Okay, let me get this straight. You’re telling me the only gift idea for you is clothing? Come on, Lorena, that’s never been the case in the past, and it’s not gonna fly today.”
Anna turned into the nearby Starbucks. “Let’s get one of those scandalous, thousand-calorie Christmas creations, and discuss our list before we hit the mall. We’ll think more creatively with a little festive help, don’t you think?”
Lorena didn’t respond, so Anna kept talking.
“Remember how we had one before and after last year’s shopping spree? One for fortification and one to relax after a job well done.”
Lorena looked out the side window as if lost in another world. Anna understood her sister’s concern. Lorena had morphed into a solemn waif of a girl. The chatterbox of the past now barely spoke and only if prompted.
Seated at a low table in comfortable leather chairs, Anna prayed that somehow Lorena would open up.
“I know you’re not okay, but can you talk to me … because I really care?” Those few words of encouragement opened up the floodgates.
“Auntie, how did you find the strength to go on when your whole world came crashing in? Surely you felt like giving up, especially when people gossiped and pointed fingers.”
Her words brought back all the feelings of despair Anna had felt not so long before.
“Joel has a new girlfriend. Plastered her picture all over his Facebook page. He’s telling everyone that I said I was on the pill, which is a bold-faced lie. I was the one worried about birth control, and he kept telling me to relax. I’m so humiliated.” Her bottom lashes brimmed with unshed tears.
“Oh, honey, I do understand.” She reached across the table and squeezed Lorena’s hand. “In fact, I was so afraid of what others thought of me, I created a bigger problem by allowing a lie to live for months. I know what miserable feels like.”
“How did you make yourself want to go on?” Her hands trembled as she raised the peppermint mocha to her lips.
“Lorena, I can’t explain exactly how other than to say that the God of love is much greater than the one who wants to destroy our lives. He forgives our mistakes and we have to hang on to this truth, because we both have a baby who needs us.”
Lorena sighed. “Truthfully, there’s a part of me that wishes I hadn’t been such a coward and had that abortion. It would all be over. Not a person would know, and I’d have my life back.”
“You’d know, and I don’t buy what you’re saying. You would’ve been haunted by that decision for the rest of your life because you know the truth. I read that essay you wrote in tenth grade citing the American Pregnancy Association, “everything that is present in an adult human is present in the smallest embryo.”
Lorena nodded her head as she swiped at the tears that coursed down her face.
Anna gathered up her purse and her gingerbread latte. “Come. Let’s go sit in the car where we have some privacy.”
Lorena slid into the front seat and slammed the car door in frustration. “What am I going to do, Auntie? I’m
