He was sure one of the reasons Anna may have felt less-than-pleased with his home had to do with the sprawling coldness. Hiring Katrina had been a gift.
He surveyed the transformation once again and his excitement grew. A sense of cozy welcome radiated from even the larger rooms, and he couldn’t wait to see Anna’s surprise. He hoped she would love the changes. When he’d first shown her his home, she hadn’t been wowed by the opulence or fantastic view. She’d checked out Melody’s nursery with little enthusiasm and sighed heavily when he insisted on a tour. Her politeness had sounded forced.
He hoped today would change all that. Rather than what was vogue or trendy, he wanted a cozy home for Melody, one that mirrored both his and Anna’s taste. He prayed the effort would make Anna feel comfortable and treasured.
Anna awoke Christmas morning with a burst of joy in her heart. She spent the first moments of the day in prayer asking God for strength to do what she believed wisdom asked of her.
Anna could hear Melody babble over the monitor and smiled in wonder. What would her life be like without her baby girl? She couldn’t bear the thought. Thankfulness flooded through her being. God had worked all for good, even her failure, with the added gift of Matt’s love for the both of them. This blessing was way beyond what she ever expected to enjoy, especially after the way she had pushed him out of her life. All she had to do now was rise above their obvious differences and trust in this same incredible God who would not lead her astray.
Like a demon sitting on her shoulder with a bucket of ice water to douse the inner fire of faith the instant hope sparked, negative thoughts poured in.
What about when you married Steven … look where love and trust in a good God got you there.
Anna brushed off the frustration and busied herself with a shower but couldn’t wash away that nagging question. Where she wanted to focus on Christmas and all things bright and beautiful, instead she wrestled with darkness.
Why did Steven have to get sick and suffer for so long? Why the emotional roller coaster of sickness and remission? If I open my heart to love again, will this or something equally as devastating happen? A kaleidoscope of negative thoughts twisted and warped their way inside her head.
With Melody still happily in her crib, Anna took the time to kneel by her bed and pray.
“God, you hear my scattered thoughts. Just when I decide to move forward, doubt and questions pour in. I know what I’m really asking. It’s that age-old question of why life brings suffering and how to avoid it.”
The answer to that question remains a mystery only few discover.
“Will I discover it?”
You already have.
This puzzled Anna even more, so she silenced the barrage of questions and asked for wisdom. Like the light of dawn, darkness had no choice but to flee and give passage to understanding.
Her suffering had purpose. She wouldn’t jump up and down and ask for more pain, but suffering was not to be feared or despised either. The pain had molded her into a kinder, more loving person, and had created a depth in her relationship with Christ she wouldn’t otherwise know.
The one thing she now trusted without question was that God would never leave nor forsake her. He would help her find her way through. He had sent real people who cared to be his hands, who had gifted her with mercy, wisdom, and love. Each piece of the puzzle whether painful or joyful had a story, a color, a needed texture.
She had nothing to fear in walking into a relationship with Matt. All her feeble excuses melted in the fire of this truth. Trust in God beckoned, and all she had to do was answer that call.
She told the enemy of her soul that he could take his fear and twisted attack and move on out. Then she rose from her knees in confidence and headed to Melody’s room.
Melody cooed sweetly and gave a dreamy smile. She stretched a tiny fist heavenward and opened her mouth in an adorable yawn.
“You’re such a joy,” Anna said nuzzling the soft baby curls. “Such a joy, indeed. Your daddy named you perfectly, didn’t he?” Melody gurgled in delight.
Anna was anxious to get out the door and be on her way to Matt’s, though the mere thought of his house had her wishing she’d been able to convince him otherwise.
She buckled Melody into her car seat as she squirmed in protest. “Yes, sweet pea, you need to be buckled in, like it or not.”
Anna eased out of the driveway. A fresh blanket of snow caused the tires to slip and slide each time she applied the brake. She worried about the trip up the side of the mountain to Matt’s and began to pray for safety. She had barely made it one block going at a snail’s pace when she spotted Matt’s vehicle coming the other direction and slowed to a stop.
“How are my two favorite girls today?”
Anna couldn’t help but smile at his cheery disposition.
“The roads are not plowed or sanded up my way. I tried to call, but there was no answer.”
“Oh, sorry, I must’ve been in the shower, and you know how bad I am with my cell. I forgot to plug it in last night.”
“No worries. I’m your chauffer today so turn that car around, and I’ll pick you up at your house.”
He was out of his car and waiting. Before she could fully park the car in the garage, he had the back door open and little Melody in his arms. He opened her door like a gentleman and waited for her to get out. As she stood, he kissed her smack dab on the lips. “Merry Christmas, darling,” he said,
