Anna didn’t know what to say. She paused but then heard nothing.
“Faye? Faye?” The line was dead.
A groan of despair wrenched deep from within and found its voice as Anna cried out, “God, what now?”
The steel gray sky with low heavy clouds suited Anna’s disposition. She donned her spring raincoat, new running shoes, and her watch, which tracked her time and distance. She planned to run off the doldrums, even if it killed her, and sort out how to handle Faye’s ill-timed visit.
Melody arched and squirmed in protest as Anna placed her in the stroller and then let out an angry squeal when Anna zipped up the rain cover.
“Come on, baby girl, your mama has to run, or you’re not going to like me at all.”
Melody screamed all the louder.
A blustery wind howled through the neighborhood and the clouds opened. Let it rain, I don’t care. A steady pattern beat against Anna’s cheeks in rhythm to the slap of her feet on the wet pavement.
Melody quieted at the feel of the motion, and Anna picked up her pace. She lifted her face to the warm April showers and ran like an athlete in training. The hill ahead demanded a level of exertion she didn’t have, yet she dug deeper. All else faded as she concentrated on her breathing and the length of her stride. At the top of the hill, the road snaked down and up again. Her lungs burned and her joints ached but onward she ran. Cathartic. Cleansing. Clarifying.
A good hour later, she rounded the corner to her house and slowed to a walk for the cool down. The run had successfully diminished the strain of her tightly wound nerves and cleared the depression that nipped at her mind. She wiped drops of sweat that inched their way down her brow and temples.
Melody started to howl, clearly not impressed with her mother. Anna pushed the large wheeled stroller carefully past her car in the garage and unzipped the cover. “Come, come my little Melody, that’s not a very nice sound.” She lifted the baby and received instant quiet and a big grin. “Oh, you little faker,” Anna said. “Stirring up a fuss for no good reason. Let’s get you fed and down for your nap.”
Melody reached for her face and smacked wildly.
Anna grabbed her chubby hands and blew kisses all over her tummy.
Melody giggled in delight.
“You betcha, little girl. To beddy-bye you go. Mama needs some alone time and prayer to think straight.”
Anna had done nothing but ruminate for the past couple weeks. Deep down, she knew something wasn’t right with what Tamara said and longed for Matt to fight for their relationship, but he did not. He respected her request and had stayed distant. He phoned ahead and asked Anna to bring Melody out to his car each time he picked her up. He remained polite, aloof, and conversed only about Melody’s schedule, then immediately departed. No questions. No explanation. No conversation. Nothing. And that was far scarier to Anna than she dared admit.
Matt’s countenance was like a black hole where nothing could be retrieved. But then again, she had told him to go, what did she expect?
A conflict of emotion raged within. She could not turn off the taps of love instantly, and her heart had not caught up to her reality. Three was too many in any relationship, so why then did her sorry heart pick up pace each day he arrived, and not settle until long after he left?
She had tried to drag him into conversation on how best to tell the world their engagement was off, and he had grunted.
“If you want to tell them go ahead. I have no stomach for it.”
Oddly, she had not told anyone but Carla.
As she complained to God in prayer and felt sorry for herself that life had turned so difficult, she felt the nudge to pick up her Bible. She randomly opened to the gospel of John and the words of Jesus jumped up off the page. Do not let your heart be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me.
Anna grimaced at how simple trust should be but wondered how to fully implement it when life was falling apart?
“God, I need you. I trust your care and love, not only for me but for Matt and Faye, who is arriving in two short days … Now, please, tell me what to do.”
Silence filled the room. Anna read all the Scriptures surrounding the initial verse that had popped off the page, but nothing spoke into her spirit other than to trust. She wanted more information, yet God remained silent.
Broken and humbled she cried out, “God help me trust you. Increase my faith. Help my unbelief.”
Tranquility filled her soul from the inside out. Like a cool spray of water misted over the body on a hot summer’s day, relief permeated. Peace pushed back the worry though nothing had changed. Anna rested. She believed she would understand what to do when God’s timing was right.
That moment came sooner than she anticipated. The ring of her cell phone shocked her out of a much-needed afternoon nap.
Matt’s voice, no longer flat and despondent, lashed out. “Why didn’t you tell me my mom was coming?”
Anna shook the cobwebs from her head and sat up on the couch. “Matt, this only transpired yesterday, and she sent me a text this morning giving me her travel plans. I intended to talk to you today when you picked up Melody.”
“What’s going on? She rattled on how she came to Jesus and how excited she is to share this experience with the both of us? The least you could have done is give me a heads up.” His voice sounded as bristly as a hedgehog.
“Matt, I had hoped she wouldn’t call you so soon and I would have a chance—”
“A
