Immediately, I felt lighter, freer. My body was still cold and numbing by the second, but a huge weight had been lifted, and when I grabbed onto the bank and fought to pull myself out of the water a second time, I was able to get my upper body onto the shore.
I waited there, catching my breath, resting my cheek against the cool ground.
Somewhere in the back of my mind, something told me to go to sleep. To rest.
Close your eyes, take a rest. You deserve it.
My eyes fluttered closed, but the moment they did, I heard Sherborne Sharp’s voice from my dream: Wake up!
If I fell asleep, I would die. I would freeze halfway out of this water. Charles would have to chip me from the bank like ice built up around windows in the winter.
If I got myself out of the water, there would be time for sleep later.
So, I pushed through the exhaustion that hung over me like a fog, dug my fingers into the slippery mud, and pulled. I used every bit of my strength to bring one leg out of the water, my sore knee digging into the ground for more purchase, and then the other.
When I was on all fours, I didn’t stop. I crawled like a small child away from the water, moving until I was sure I wouldn’t slide back beneath the dark waters. Because I knew, if I went into the water a second time, I wouldn’t come out again. I wouldn’t have the energy.
I was numb up to my knees now, and soon, my entire body would be numb unless I got up. But I couldn’t yet. My chest heaved with exertion, and I rolled onto my back and stared up at the crisscrossing of the trees over the dark blue sky. I watched as my labored breaths created small white clouds in front of me, and I was grateful for each and every one of them. Every exhale meant I was still alive. I was still breathing. Still fighting.
Fighting.
The word caught in my thoughts. I’d been so focused for countless minutes—or hours, I wasn’t sure—on getting out of the water that I’d forgotten I’d been thrown in there in the first place. Someone had done this to me. On purpose.
Someone had tried to kill me.
Nearby, leaves crunched, and fear cut through my exhaustion like a scalpel. Though I longed for sleep and rest, my body zinged with adrenaline like an electric current.
Are you awake?
I heard the voice in my mind again, and this time, I wasn’t remembering it through a haze of unconsciousness. My mind was clear, and my memory was, too.
I’d heard that voice in my sister’s home. At the dinner table and in the sitting room for drinks. I’d heard that same voice cooing lovingly at my niece through her nursery door.
And I heard that voice again, now, when a figure loomed at the far edge of the water, studying me with eyes that glowed in the darkness.
“You’re making this too difficult, Alice,” Camellia Cresswell said, her soft tone in harsh juxtaposition to the cruel intent of her words. “You’re supposed to be dead already.”
15
Camellia sighed and shook her head, seeming as disappointed as if she’d miscounted stitches on a scarf she’d been making rather than having failed to properly murder someone.
“Camellia.” My voice was hoarse from disuse and the cold, and I tried to clear it, but phlegm caught in my throat, refusing to budge.
“See?” she said, extending an open hand to gesture at me. “You weren’t supposed to know it was me. I thought that would be a comfort to you. To not be aware of what was happening. Despite what you may be thinking now, I tried to be kind. Now, everything is ruined.”
She spoke with the same clarity she’d always spoken with, but her words were incomprehensible to me. I couldn’t seem to connect what she was saying with the cool, rational way she said it.
“Ah well, there isn’t anything that can be done about it now except to see it through.” Charles’ sister clapped her hands together and advanced around the edge of the bog towards me.
I scooted further away from her on my hands and feet, but it was achingly clear I would need to stand up if I wanted to defend myself. If I wanted any chance at all.
The numbness advanced up my legs like frost crawling across a window pane, but I hoped my legs could still hold me even if I could not feel them. I pressed my palms into the cool dirt and stood up.
My body wobbled forward and back, but I braced myself on my half-frozen stubs and lifted my hands to defend myself. “Don’t come any closer.”
Camellia’s blonde hair caught what little light there was, glistening like a halo around her head. Nothing had ever been more ironic. She was a monster. A demon walking amongst us, murderous in the dark of night.
But why?
It didn’t make any sense. I knew Camellia and I didn’t get along, but this seemed extreme.
“What are you going to do to defend yourself?” Camellia asked with a laugh. “You can barely stand. You could barely stand even before I threw you in the water. Do you really think you can beat me now?”
No, I didn’t. Not at all. But that wouldn’t stop me from trying.
“Why are you doing this?” I asked.
“Because of that,” Camellia said, pointing an accusatory finger at me. Her top lip was pulled back in a sneer. “You refuse to keep your nose out of everyone else’s business. My brother didn’t want you to come here, but Catherine insisted, and he can’t seem to ignore her wishes even when it is what is best for her. So, he allowed her to send for you. He allowed you to roam this house as though you own it. He
