I want to ask him why he prefers not to show off his body, but I decide against it for now. This moment is too perfect, and the last thing I want is to come off needy, or as if I’m nagging him with questions. Instead, I take in what I can, and only hope, one day he lets me see him underneath all the clothes.
And I enjoy watching him, even if he’s not naked like me. My eyes track his every movement, even when he takes off my heels and quietly places them on the floor. I watch, as he turns to walk towards a small room on the other side of this room, and once he turns on the light, I realize there is a bathroom in here. I wonder if all the rooms come with one, too. It would make sense and be more practical.
As Sebastian takes care of his needs in the restroom, my eyes start to close, and I realize suddenly how tired I am. Shutting them for a moment, I tell myself that I’ll just rest, until he comes back out.
I’m sure he’ll wake me, once he’s finished.
Four months later
Sitting on the couch with Ava, I take a sip of wine, while she nurses a glass of apple juice. It’s been a couple of months, since I’ve been able to come see her, and at times, I wish she didn’t live an hour away. I can’t be upset about it, though. Viktor bought her a very nice home closer to her parents, and a ballet studio right down the road. It’s everything she wanted, so of course, Viktor had to give it to her. I tell her on more than one occasion that he spoils her. She always laughs, and then blushes, so I know he makes her happy.
“So,” Ava starts, giving me a look that I know isn’t going to lead anywhere good. “What is the deal with you and Sebastian?”
It’s not a secret that we’re a thing, but I haven’t said anything about it, mainly because I’m not sure what we are. Since the night at his club, we’ve been spending a lot of time together, and I’ve even spent a few nights with him at his place. It seems strange, when I think back to that one night that started it all.
After our wild night of fucking, I passed out from being so pleasured, and when I woke up, there he was right beside me. Since then, he’s not far away. Well, except when we’re at The Gentlemen’s Club.
Now, that might end up being a problem for us.
Not wanting to over think it, I take a sip of wine, before I answer her. “Honestly, I don’t know.”
She gives me a pointed look, as if she doesn’t believe me. “Trix, come on. It’s me, so you can tell me.”
“It’s not that I don’t want to tell you. It’s because I can’t. We’re together, but I’m not sure what we are. I haven’t tried to press him for labels.” Ava frowns, and I get the urge to spill everything that I’ve been thinking about for the past few months. “Sebastian is so open about certain things, but others stuff, he’s so closed off. Some nights, I forget all about labels, because he’s so great to me.”
“But you’d like to be more,” she adds.
“Yeah, I would. I mean, don’t get me wrong, the sex is phenomenal, but I really don’t know that much about him. Every time I ask about his past or something personal, he shuts me down.” I usually don’t make a big deal out of it, because he uses my overzealous sex drive against me.
Ava rubs a hand over her belly, and I get a pang in my chest, as I watch her do so. She’s eight months along in her pregnancy now, and she’s literally glowing with love. I sometimes wonder, if I’ll ever feel love like that.
“You know, Vik used to be the same way with me. There was a time that he wouldn’t even talk to me in English, if he didn’t want me to know something.”
“Jesus, what’s with the Matvei men? Sebastian does the exact same thing, and it drives me insane.”
She laughs, as she says, “That’s why I wanted to learn Russian.”
“That’s a good idea, but I wish he wouldn’t do that. Is it so bad that I wish he would open up to me?”
She reaches over, grabbing my hand, before stating, “No, it’s not a bad thing at all. With Seb.” She stops for a moment, and then sighs, before saying, “He’s got a lot of issues that he doesn’t want to see. I wish I could tell you, Trix, but this is something he needs to work on himself. All I can offer you is to be patient with him.”
My stomach drops, hearing her advice. It’s not something I wanted to hear, but nevertheless, I didn’t come over here for her to lie to me. I know he has issues, but I don’t know how deep those issues run.
“Thank you for being honest. I’d much rather someone be honest with me, versus letting me sit and wonder what in the world is going on.”
Sighing deeply, I glance at my wine glass, and begin to swirl the liquid around, as I ponder on what I should do about Sebastian. A part of me wants to demand more from him, but the other part, is just afraid. What if I push him too far, and I lose him?
But … what if that’s what he needs me to do?
“I can literally hear what you’re thinking, Trix,” Ava interrupts, and I snap my gaze to her. “I can’t tell you not to ask for more, but I just want you to be careful. When I first met Seb, he was such an ass, but I finally figured out that it’s all an act. Somewhere
