My words die, as I realize he’s smiling.
He’s showing me one of those rare, genuine smiles that are only reserved for Gabbie and Nikolai. For a moment, my breath completely leaves my lungs, because this smile is beyond beautiful. It changes his entire face, making him seem younger and more carefree. His teeth are so white and straight that I’m literally entranced.
Not only is he smiling at me, but he also caresses my face, making my heart skip a beat. It’s in that very moment that I realize something big. It’s something that I’ve been denying myself from actually thinking about, because I shouldn’t feel this way about him this fast.
But no matter how many times I tell myself what I feel isn’t real, I know it’s a lie.
I’m falling in love with him.
And this love isn’t slow or steady. It’s one of those instant, hard, and fast ones that take your breath away kind of love. It’s … scary to realize just how much I love him, and just how much I need him in my life. I’ve never needed anyone before, but yet, here I am, giving myself over to a man that probably doesn’t feel anything for me.
“You think too much,” he claims, taking my lips suddenly, and I’m instantly snapped back to where I am.
His kiss is so tender and sweet that for a moment I’m shocked by it. With Sebastian, it’s always been hard, demanding, and all consuming. But now, it’s almost as if he’s showing me a brand-new side of himself. It’s one that I like very much, and as he pulls away, all I can do is stare up at this beautiful yet, confusing man.
“Yes, I’ll be your date. Just text me the details later.”
“Okay, good,” I say, still stuck in a haze.
As he helps me sit upright, he asks, “Want some popcorn?”
“Sure,” I answer, but not fully aware of what’s going on around me. Watching him, as he gets up, my eyes follow him, as he walks into the kitchen.
Taking in a deep breath, I remind myself it’s okay to feel the way I do about him. It’s alright to fall in love with someone like Sebastian, because he’s easy to fall for.
But then, I remember how closed off he is, and how he shuts down every single time I ask him about his past. Dropping my gaze to the floor, I pray that I’m not making a horrible mistake by falling for him.
It’s not like I can stop it from happening now anyway.
Walking back towards the locker rooms, I open the door, and instantly dread being here. I used to love coming to work and talking with all the girls here. The Gentlemen’s Club was a place where I felt free, and it was once a second home.
But in the past year, I’ve felt like this place is just a job.
I don’t enjoy dancing anymore. I don’t even like taking off my clothes for the clients. Honestly, I hate being around drunk clients now. Before, I liked it, because it was so easy to take what I wanted.
Now, it makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about it.
Looking around the room, I search for Margo, the club manager, to let her know I can’t do this anymore. There’s a huge lump in my throat simply thinking about getting ready for the stage. I don’t even want to think about how Sebastian practically avoids me like the plague every time I go up on stage either.
Kendra said Weston’s only hard limit was her working here. Could it be the same for Sebastian, too? Shaking my head, I push that thought right out of my mind. It seems ludicrous to think Sebastian doesn’t want me dancing anymore. He doesn’t seem like the type to try and control me that way.
Dropping my bag down by my vanity, I quickly walk out of the room, searching for Margo. I pass by the bouncers and a few other girls working tonight, but Margo doesn’t seem to be here. It’s only, when I stop in front of Sebastian’s office door, that I realize she’s probably at the new club. It’s not a secret that Viktor and Sebastian are opening a new club, so it makes sense that Margo would be there, helping get it ready to open within the next few weeks.
Pushing out a sigh, I knock on the door, knowing what I need to do. Hearing his gruff voice, telling me to enter, I swallow hard, hoping this conversation goes the way I need it to. Opening the door, I walk inside, and my gaze instantly finds him. He’s sitting behind his huge desk that dominates the room much like he does. I shut the door behind me, and I stand still, waiting for him to realize I’m here and ready to quit my job.
After a few moments pass, it’s clear he’s busy. His head is down, and he’s frowning. From where I’m standing, I can clearly see his jaw clenching. My heart thumps hard in my chest, and my stomach drops, realizing this is not the best time to have this conversation. Deciding to come back later, my head falls forward, hating that I have to make myself work for one more night.
“Trixie? How long have you been standing there?” My hand falls from the door handle, as I turn around to face him. He’s getting up, quickly making his way towards me, as he asks, “What’s wrong?”
One of the best things about Sebastian, is his uncanny way of knowing when something is wrong, even if I don’t say it outright. My dread must be showing as well, and I let out a heavy sigh, before admitting, “I can’t work here anymore. I
