“She knew how close Viktor and I were. She knew how much I admired him, so she knew exactly what to do to destroy our relationship.” Shaking my head, I refuse to believe what he’s about to say. It’s hard enough having to listen to him talk about this, so I can’t even imagine what he’s going through. “The water she gave me was laced with Viagra. So, when she got my jeans off, I was hard and ready for her, even though I didn’t want to be. Misty was not my type at all, and I couldn’t even stand the sight of her. She knew that, too, which is why she drugged me.”
“Her plan couldn’t be carried out, unless I was hard for her. I tried to get her to stop. I yelled, and I pleaded. No matter what I did or said, it didn’t stop her from undressing and forcing herself on me. Even when her cunt was wrapped around me, I did everything I could to get her off me.”
A single tear slides down my cheek, as he says, “I was powerless against her. While she laughed and took away my control, I felt like I was dying inside, but she did what she intended to do. She had texted Viktor from my phone, so of course, he walked in and saw her on top of me. I didn’t blame him for thinking anything other than what he did. I didn’t blame him for leaving me there, after Misty was done using me for her own sick and twisted game. I lay there for a few hours, before one of my friends stopped by and set me free.”
“Needless to say, Viktor hated me after that. Misty told him that we’d been fucking around for a while, and that the baby she was carrying was mine. It didn’t matter that I never touched her, until she drugged me. It didn’t matter what I said to him, he refused to listen to me, so I stopped trying, and I found a way to make sure this would never, ever, happen to me again.”
Wiping the tears from my cheeks, I jump off the couch, and then begin to pace in front of him. I feel his gaze on me, but I’m so angry that I can’t form words just yet. My heart is breaking, as I finally understand, and I want to find that stupid bitch and commit murder.
How could someone do something so awful to another person? More tears fall, because I never thought this could happen to someone like Sebastian. Yes, he has issues, but he’s a good man. For the few people he trusts, he cares deeply for them.
And that’s when it hits me.
He doesn’t trust me, because of what that bitch did to him.
“Trixie, please say something,” he pleads, and the sound of his voice brings out a sob from me. He’s instantly by my side, comforting me, when I should be doing the same to him. “Talk to me.”
Gazing into his eyes, I wish I could take all that pain away. I wish I could pull it out and cast it away for him. “She hurt you so bad, Sebastian. She raped you,” I finally whisper, and the shock on his face makes me think he’s never thought about it that way.
“No, she didn’t,” he claims in a hard voice, and it just makes me think he’s still denying what really happened to him.
“Sebastian,” I start, and then stop to clear my throat. “She took away your control and forced you to have sex with her. She tied you up, drugged you, and then made you do something you didn’t want. It’s no wonder why you can’t trust me, and why you’ve done everything possible to push me away. How can you trust me, when someone hurt you so badly?”
Holding his gaze, I don’t hold back the tears from falling. My heart is breaking, because he’s been hurting for so long. As he wipes away my tears, I state, “You need to say it. You’re still denying what she did to you, and you’ll never move on from it, if you can’t even say the words.”
He looks away, and then clenches his jaw. Deep down, he knows I’m right, and as much as it sucks, he needs to heal. He needs to admit that someone did something so unspeakable to him, and then maybe, he can deal with it properly.
“I can’t, Trixie.”
Cupping his cheek, I say, “Yes, you can.”
“No, I can’t,” he grits out, and takes me by my wrists. He holds me tightly, as he claims, “I can’t fucking go there.”
Ripping my hands out his grasp, I ask, “Then why are you here? Why bother telling me what happened to you, if you can’t even admit it?” Both of his hands run through his hair, as if he’s angry at the situation. I’m not sure what’s going through his mind, but he needs to know I’m here for him. “Why, Sebastian?” I need to keep pushing him, so he’ll finally admit the truth.
His hands fall to his sides, as he faces me. With a deep and raspy voice, he claims, “Because I love you.” My eyes widen, and I suck in a deep breath, unsure of what he just said. “I told you because I love you, Trixie. I didn’t want to fall for you. I didn’t want you to ever find out what I went through, because I’m fucked up. I’m so fucked up from that
